An unsoothable rage builds up in the pit of my core when I witness a person eating a cupcake with a fork. Why would you do this? Are you afraid of getting frosting on your fingers? Lick them off! Do you think the sugar will burn your skin like acid? It will not!
It is a cupcake, not a piece of cake—you already have to touch it in order to get the wrapper off, so just EAT IT WITH YOUR HANDS. You can wash them afterwards. You can wash them before you touch the cupcake. It's perfectly sanitary, I promise.
Earlier today I was reminded of an equally upsetting crime: Eating French fries with a fork. Again: WHY? Who are you trying to impress with your overly vigilant table manners?
Now I can't decide which makes me more crazy—watching someone eat a cupcake with a fork or watching someone eat fries* with a fork. Neither is cool. But which is worse?
*I am referring to plain French fries, naked (or lightly seasoned) and ready to be dipped in any condiments you desire. Chili cheese fries, poutine, and/or any other smothered fry combinations are exempt.