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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Meet Some More Straight Folks Who've Been Giving Up Their Free Time to Hang Out in Gay Bars Talking about Gay Marriage

Posted by on Tue, Oct 9, 2012 at 11:57 AM

Mackenzie and Nicole, straight girls fighting for gay marriage: Its a civil rights issue.
  • Mackenzie and Nicole, straight girls fighting for gay marriage: "It's a civil rights issue."

Nicole Beges and Mackenzie Stout, two straight girls in law school at Seattle University, have spent the last couple weekends in gay bars, registering new voters and talking about gay marriage. Just about everywhere they’ve gone, they’ve found gay people who didn’t even know that gay marriage is on the ballot. Beges went to Qdoba on Broadway recently, and there were “two guys working there, gay as Christmas, and I was like, ‘I spent last night working on Referendum 74,’ and they were like, ‘What’s that?’”

Beges was standing inside the gay men’s fetish bar the Cuff as she told me this. She’s 25 years old. She had a clipboard under one arm with voter registration forms and a stack of blank pledges to Washington United for Marriage to vote "approve" for Referendum 74 (with a box to check if someone wants to volunteer). Standing next to her was Stout, who is 24 and has already done some phone-banking for Referendum 74, including a memorable interaction with an Eastern Washington man who insisted that gay marriage being passed would mean legalizing incest. Looking around the Cuff, Stout added, “People are uneducated about political goings on and I think that’s a problem.”

“I met two guys at CC Attle’s the other night, two guys who’d been together for 15 years, and they were against gay marriage,” Beges said. How come? “I can’t tell you why. Something about the dollar crashing?”

“You get so used to the status quo or something,” Stout said.

“My personal opinion?” Beges said. “It’s not about you. It’s a civil rights issue.”

"We don't have gay parking. We don't have gay lunch. It's marriage. It's not gay marriage," Stout said. “People say, ‘Well, I don’t want to get married.’ Wouldn’t you rather decide you don’t want to get married rather than the law telling you you can’t?”

Beges added, “If I ever shoot out kids, I want them to say: ‘Holy shit, when you were 25 gays couldn’t get married?’”

The Cuff was just one stop among many. They were on a bar-crawl organized by Josh Castle, M. J. Romero, and Jason Jacobs, three gay guys with day jobs, a little bit of free time, and a knack for political organizing. Romero told me, “We call this Project Low Hanging Fruit.”

He said the impetus was realizing how many gay people, especially younger gay people, weren’t registered, didn’t have political opinions, and didn’t know about Referendum 74. A bar-hop was the perfect way to reach them, especially because it doesn’t cost anything: they just set up a Facebook page and called bars in advance to tell them they were coming. A lot of bars don’t want people with clipboards walking around talking to their customers, but since gay-marriage is on the ballot, gay bars have been receptive, waiving the cover charge, etc. (Other bars? Not so much. After visiting Pony and before getting down to Q, Beges and Stout decided to stop into the Elysian to try their hand with a straight crowd. The first guy Stout talked to was not registered to vote. He filled out a voter registration form while she talked about Referendum 74, and then he looked at her chest and then up at her face. A bartender leaned over and said, “What are you doing?” After Stout explained, the bartender said, “Outside. Sorry.”)

Shane Phillips, straight guy fighting for gay marriage: If I have children, absolutely I want them to be able to get married if theyre gay.
  • Shane Phillips, straight guy fighting for gay marriage: "If I have children, absolutely I want them to be able to get married if they're gay."
It is pretty amazing watching straight people donate their time to walk into gay bars to convince gay people to care about gay marriage. Beges and Stout have a third friend (a woman who’s dating a woman) whom they haven’t been able to convince to volunteer yet. Likewise, on another night of the bar crawl, Chris Burke, a 31-year-old straight guy and web developer, mentioned a queer friend of his when asked about why he was doing this. When asked why she wasn’t volunteering with him, there was a pause, and then Burke said, “I’m going to make her volunteer.” That particular night ended with Burke, for the first time in his life, watching two men lube-wrestle.

On yet another night of the bar crawl, a straight guy named Shane Phillips who works in a lab at UW, got into it with a gay guy at Pony who “was thinking about not voting” for gay marriage, with the thinking being that homos tend to be more promiscuous than straights. Which boggled Phillips’s mind. “Just because some people won’t take it seriously, or might abuse this right, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be available to everyone,” Phillips reflected a few minutes later at Madison Pub. “I gain something if I live in a society that actually has equal rights. And it’s also not just about me. If I have children, absolutely I want them to be able to get married if they’re gay.” It was the night before the mail-in voter registration deadline. I asked Phillips what he was going to do once it was too late to register new voters. “I am going to do phone banking, but I’m not looking forward to it. I’m not confrontational. I’m not even very outgoing. I’m just drunk,” he said, and sipped his beer.

 

Comments (12) RSS

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1
Thank God the one on the left is straight. That would have been a waste of good breeding material.
Posted by Stranger'sWorstNightmare on October 9, 2012 at 12:11 PM
Original Andrew 2
FSM bless you, str8 friends. You've shown tremendous dedication and courage, and my hubby and I are thankful for your support.
Posted by Original Andrew on October 9, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Mattini 3
I like the argument that we all gain something by living in a society with equal rights. Count me among the moes thankful for their support.
Posted by Mattini on October 9, 2012 at 12:26 PM
rob! 4
We should not be surprised that a few gay people are actively hostile toward marriage equality. Even though marriage is—hello!—an actual choice, some see its mere existence as a yoke of oppression that threatens the hard-won right to promiscuity.

To the extent that they are correct and it serves as a nudge to turn their empty heads and engorged loins at least occasionally away from their prolonged adolescence and causes them to consider even momentarily the larger social concerns (access to medical care, education, environment, financial security, etc.) that affect us all, I say hooray.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on October 9, 2012 at 12:37 PM
More, I Say! 5
Mad propz 2 Shane! What what!
Posted by More, I Say! on October 9, 2012 at 2:17 PM
smiller555 6
The Cuff is a fetish bar? Srsly?
Posted by smiller555 http://smiller555.com on October 9, 2012 at 2:46 PM
7
"“I met two guys at CC Attle’s the other night, two guys who’d been together for 15 years, and they were against gay marriage,” Beges said. How come? “I can’t tell you why. Something about the dollar crashing?”"

No shit. Log Cabiners and the polyamorous anti-all-marriage sorts can be assholes too. Gays can be selfish pieces of shit just as much as straights. Plus the Republican/Randroid self-hate thing.
Posted by hateful people aren't just straight, y'know on October 9, 2012 at 2:50 PM
8
It is disgusting to read in this article and in the linked articles, about the attitude of these boozed up, apathetic libertines. I can't imagine how these straight allies continue with this in the face of disrespect and apathy. If that had been me, I probably would have told these bastards that they can go work for their own equality and then I'd go live my life.

Fortunately, these straight allies are better men than I. To all of these guys and gals, thank you and please know that the ungrateful lushes that you are talking to do not represent all gay people and their indifference does not reflect our views. However this turns out, we will be forever grateful for what you are doing.
Posted by David21000 on October 9, 2012 at 3:19 PM
scary tyler moore 9
so who is harder to persuade to vote for R74? straight conservatives or gay libertines? i'd say the latter.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on October 9, 2012 at 3:43 PM
10
1

also, her friend would make a suitable concubine.

Posted by but that Shane? Queer as a nine bob note... on October 9, 2012 at 6:40 PM
11
Thanks for the post Christopher! And especially thanks for mentioning Josh, Jason, and MJ - those guys are the ones who are really making all of this happen, and literally volunteering almost every night to ensure that people are voting and that they're supporting R-74.

Just to be clear though, I wouldn't say I "got into it" with the guy at Pony. Since bars were letting us in willingly we tried to make a point not to be argumentative or really disturb anyone who didn't want to talk about it. It was a pretty respectful disagreement/discussion, and by the time I walked away he seemed to be agreeing with me. He SAID he was probably going to vote yes, at least.
Posted by Shane P. on October 9, 2012 at 7:33 PM
12
Seriously thank you for coming out to bars and talking to the "low hanging fruits". Having gotten in conversations with several cantankerous contrarions ("Marriage sucks in general") or apathetic folks who can't be bothered, I've seen you out, working hard and I regret not buying you a few drinks for your time. Most of my close homos are pretty political and registering left and right to get the vote out, but what you're doing makes me want to join a phone bank and start mobilizing more. THANK YOU!!
Posted by yerbamatty on October 9, 2012 at 11:15 PM

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