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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Film What Do You Think of the Lone Ranger Trailer?

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Oct 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM

Well, this movie sure is coming out next summer:

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Well, will you look at that - Johnny Depp *and* Helena Bonham Carter.

Posted by yelahneb

on October 3, 2012 at 11:14 AM

I vote for Sherman Alexie to write the review when it's released.

Posted by Mr. Happy Sunshine on October 3, 2012 at 11:25 AM

+1 for #2's suggestion.

Posted by treacle on October 3, 2012 at 11:27 AM

I think there's enough material in the Lone Ranger's origin story that you could have made a good movie out of it. But that's not what's happened.

Posted by GermanSausage on October 3, 2012 at 11:32 AM

Yeah, could we just stop putting Helena Bonham Carter in movies please? Thanks.

Posted by senor chris on October 3, 2012 at 11:32 AM

I heard rumors that Johnny Depp has some very peculiar sexual kinks.

Apparently he has this secret room in his house filled with a variety of quirky hats and a gigantic quadruple king bed with a diving board adjacent to it. He disrobes, dons a quirky hat, then makes a running leap onto his bed and then... well... there is no other way to describe it... violently sexually abuses his massive piles of money that rain down from vents in the ceiling.

Posted by tkc on October 3, 2012 at 11:34 AM

What happen when face meet palm, Kemosabe?

Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 3, 2012 at 11:51 AM

I like dumb movies with guns/punches/car chases/etcetera, especially ones with high production values. And this one will certainly have high production values, and guns, and be dumb. All that said, that trailer was terrible. Has whoever made that trailer ever seen a movie? Even a truly unwatchable film deserves a better trailer. Hell, you can trail The Shining as an uplifting family drama - there's just no excuse for the trailer to fail this hard.

#2's comment wins the thread, I think.

Also, what #1 said. I don't really agree with #5; I've got nothing against Ms. Bonham Carter, and she's often entertaining in the only role she seems to play nowadays. But the Depp/Bonham Carter double-act is getting to be a cliche - and when a director does it, you suspect they've got no ideas of their own.

Posted by Warren Terra on October 3, 2012 at 11:53 AM

So that hideous face paint and dead crow on his head wasn't just for one scene? He wears it throughout, broken English included?

Fun.

Posted by Zuulabelle

on October 3, 2012 at 12:02 PM

What @2 said.

Posted by How, me Indian. on October 3, 2012 at 12:09 PM

I agree with #2 and those that agree with #2. I can count to two too. I've always wondered what an honest-to-God Indian looks like. S. Alexie will let us know.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn on October 3, 2012 at 12:27 PM

Three thoughts:

* I've never been so bored while watching something with such exciting background music.

* When did Gore Verbinski turn into Baz Luhrmann?

* The word "meh" has too MANY syllables to express my apathy.

Posted by evilvolus on October 3, 2012 at 12:30 PM

My brain cannot wrap around this. There were NO, none, not one, Native Americans to cast as Tonto? The best I can manage is that any aspirers to the role saw the script and/or costume and fled.

Posted by Seileigh on October 3, 2012 at 12:42 PM

I just can't go to the movies any more.

Posted by very bad homo on October 3, 2012 at 12:49 PM

That was a loose assortment of scenes vomited onto the screen in a random order, wasn't it?

When do we get the real trailer?

Posted by gttim on October 3, 2012 at 12:50 PM

I vote for "Stay home and watch Dead Man".

Posted by Wicked Virgin

on October 3, 2012 at 12:56 PM

Me Tonto.

You Jane.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 3, 2012 at 1:43 PM

I appear to be in the minority that found that trailer awesome.

I also liked the last two Sherlock Holmes movies.

Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings

on October 3, 2012 at 2:32 PM

With you, @2. I would contribute to a fund to raise enough to pay Alexie what he deserves for a nice long review.

Posted by gloomy gus on October 3, 2012 at 2:32 PM

I like the yonic opening and closing scenes. The trailer is giving birth to the movie right before our eyes.

Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

on October 3, 2012 at 3:21 PM

Must chime in and say I love these polls when the votes are so spread out - good job mining the far reaches of slog mentality and stirring up opposing views - divide and conquer and all that shit. Oy!

Posted by Jaymz on October 3, 2012 at 3:30 PM

i guess we know what the disney ride will be like...

Posted by jackieoh1 on October 3, 2012 at 3:33 PM

It lost me when the words "Jerry Bruckheimer" appeared on the screen. Can't he just make like Tony Scott already?

Posted by suicide joke is painless on October 3, 2012 at 4:46 PM