Recently I decided I don't have enough time left in my life to hunt around thrift stores for jeans that fit really well. I started buying Levi's again because I trusted the brand and I found a style I liked (511 Skinny—they're not that skinny, and they don't look like they're from the 1990s [baggy]). Used to be you could buy a pair of Levi's and you knew they were going to last through the years. That is evidently not the case anymore.

A year or so ago, I bought the first new pair of jeans that I'd bought in two decades. They were great, fit-wise and comfort-wise. Then, within six months, the left knee wore through.* Right around that time, I got a second pair as a gift. They were grey. Within six months, the right knee wore through. Discouraged and thick-headed, I bought another pair about six months ago. Tuesday, while I used the bathroom during a meeting with a client, the zipper broke. Levi's, are your pants designed to self-destruct at the six-month mark? Why are you doing this to me? Anyway, I'm done buying Levi's. Alas, I do not know who makes sturdy but fashionable denim jeans anymore. Do you?

*Commence dick-sucking jokes!