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Friday, September 21, 2012

"Should marriage be redefined in our state the very foundational nature of marriage for the good and strength of human society would be harmed beyond repair."

Posted by on Fri, Sep 21, 2012 at 10:54 AM

So says Seattle Archbishop Peter Sartain, in a new video posted to the Archdiocese of Seattle's website.

I know vengeful euphemism is so last century, but Sartain could make for a good one.


Comments (20) RSS

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MacCrocodile 1
If by vengeful euphemism, you mean something like santorum, I assume a sartain would have something to do with a secret between a young child and his priest.
Posted by MacCrocodile on September 21, 2012 at 10:59 AM · Report this
very bad homo 2
Posted by very bad homo on September 21, 2012 at 11:08 AM · Report this
I think a Sartain is what is left behind if you get Santorum on your sheets.
Posted by Frank Rizzo on September 21, 2012 at 11:10 AM · Report this
treacle 4
I thought a sartain was the specific type of stain you get when you leak poop and/or cum from your mouth onto your vestments.
Posted by treacle on September 21, 2012 at 11:11 AM · Report this
Fnarf 5
Sartain is when you forget to clean up all the jizz off of the child you just molested before you send him home from church.
Posted by Fnarf on September 21, 2012 at 11:17 AM · Report this
Absolutely. I mean, look what happened in Massachusetts. Six months after marriage equality was enacted there, the entire state devolved into complete chaos and anarchy, Boston was in flames, the National Guard of surrounding states were forced to close the borders, and no communication has come out of MA for the past three years.

Although we can only speculate (seeing as not a single person who has entered the state since 2009 has managed to return alive), it seems safe to assume that there has been a complete and utter breakdown of all social institutions, and that the survivors have been forced to live at a level of degradation that surely must be heart-wrenching: cannibalism, rape gangs, mandatory sterilization of heterosexuals, church and political leaders subjected to mass torture and execution, etc., etc.

The great failure of marriage equality in Massachusetts should be an object lesson to us all, and it is only right and fitting that Bishop Sartain continue to remind us of the clear and present danger to the citizens of this state if similar legislation is enacted here.
Posted by COMTE on September 21, 2012 at 11:19 AM · Report this
If marriage is such an important gift, why aren't clergy allowed to receive? Shouldn't Catholic Church Leaders live as examples of God's intended basic societal building block? Being married to God doesn't produce "the unique pattern of spousal and family love and the generation of new life".
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on September 21, 2012 at 11:19 AM · Report this
"Should marriage be redefined in our state the very foundational nature of marriage for the good and strength of human society would be harmed beyond repair."

So sayeth a man who has never been married, and never shall be.
Posted by Clayton on September 21, 2012 at 11:21 AM · Report this
sartain (n.) \sär-ˈtān\: the discoloration of priestly vestments from santorum residue.
Posted by melvillean on September 21, 2012 at 11:26 AM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 10
msg to the Archbishop:

Every time I see a Catholic priest, I know he's a protector of a child rapist, if not a child rapist himself. You might want to look at your image problem before you spout off on how people should live their lives.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on September 21, 2012 at 11:27 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 11
Help! *gargle garbble blurk squirk*...I...Canada..internet...burning *crackle crackle*...much gay sex...exploding marriages....*beeee oooop* ...weet mother of God....O.S. ...Repeat...S.O.S!!!
Posted by ArtBasketSara on September 21, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
Pick1 12
"In effect, this new law is saying, that the loving, permanent, and faithful union of man and woman in marriage, the unique pattern of spousal and family love, and a generation of new life are of only relative importance."

Wait, how the fuck does it say that? I mean I think marriage is so damn important that I want it for myself. This shit aint relative!

"It is not against anyone"

Posted by Pick1 on September 21, 2012 at 11:32 AM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 13
@6 -- and don't forget how Iowa was broken off of the continent by the wrathful hand of God, and sank into the ocean.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on September 21, 2012 at 11:32 AM · Report this
treefort 14
He's confused.
Posted by treefort on September 21, 2012 at 11:33 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 15
Saint Sartain- Saint of unrepentent liars. The truth is, the church is against anything that intereferes with the recruitment of homosexuals for the priesthood. They just don't make us ashamed of ourselves anymore. It's the Catholic Church that's falling to pieces. Good riddance.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on September 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM · Report this
pg13 16
The way he says "people with same sex attraction" makes it sound like a syndrome. Like something in the disclaimer of a drug ad.

"Studies show that people taking Catholicism can suffer from small minds, closed hearts, resistance to scientific facts and, in some cases, inappropriate sexualized behavior. People with same sex attraction should not take Catholicism. In case of accidental exposure to Catholicism, do not see a priest or a bishop because they will ignore or actively hide the problems. Discontinue use of Catholicism once you've reached an age where you can reason for yourself and threats of eternal damnation based on a fictional book no longer resonate with you."

As far as vengeful euphemisms go...rather than grace him with a sexual term, I think Sartain should simply be what we call someone who expects the rest of the world to change their behavior to appease his personal beliefs.

As in: "Radical Muslims are demanding that a YouTube video be taken down because it offends their religious beliefs? That's so Sartain."
Posted by pg13 on September 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM · Report this
@16 FTW
Posted by originalcinner on September 21, 2012 at 12:31 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 18
Marriage IS NOT the foundation of Society. SANITATION is the foundation of ALL HUMAN SOCIETY.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on September 21, 2012 at 12:41 PM · Report this
Helenka (also a Canuck) 19
"Gift of marriage." Right - one that you've rejected. You poor thing.

As for the apocalypse up here in Canada where redefined marriage was subversively forced onto two G/L couples on January 14, 2001, well, things are tough. Gay gangs roam the streets, the birthrate has plummeted, the sun's light is blotted out from the burning buildings and there's barely enough food and water left....

Oh, wait. That's fanfic. It's a gorgeous September day, the lake nearby is calm and so are the people who live in complementary harmony, no matter what their orientation or marital status is.

The Archbishop needs to take the cotton out of his ears and listen to some common sense and adhere to (Caesar's) NON-religious civil rights.
Posted by Helenka (also a Canuck) on September 21, 2012 at 12:55 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 20
I miss Seattleblues.
Posted by Free Lunch on September 21, 2012 at 6:58 PM · Report this

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