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Friday, September 21, 2012

Girl Power Is Making Rush Limbaugh's Dick Disappear

Posted by on Fri, Sep 21, 2012 at 2:43 PM

A recent Italian study found that the average male penis size has shrunk 10 percent over the last 50 years. Sixty-one year old Rush Limbaugh doesn't need science to tell him that this is clearly the work of man-hating feminists. Take it away, Rush!

“I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”

“Give ‘em time and they’ll blame Bush. But air pollution vs. feminazis? Ha!”

You know how at dinner parties everyone claims they're descendants of Genghis Kahn or The Mayflower or apes or whatever? I'm envisioning a new party game and I want to be the first woman to claim responsibility for Rush Limbaugh's shrinking penis. I'd love to say it was a big job (it wasn't); nevertheless, I couldn't have done it without the support of other dedicated feminazis and their scientifically perplexing, junk-shrinking feminine mystique! Ladies, this one's for you!


Comments (27) RSS

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delirian 1
I'm sure Rush can buy another fast car to compensate temporarily, but at some point this is going to affect his sex tourism trips.
Posted by delirian on September 21, 2012 at 2:50 PM · Report this
Cracker Jack 2
Sounds to me like Rush is the one blaming Bush.
Posted by Cracker Jack on September 21, 2012 at 2:54 PM · Report this
Fnarf 3
This is bullshit! My penis has increased in size over 300% in just the last 30 seconds!
Posted by Fnarf on September 21, 2012 at 3:09 PM · Report this
MarkyMark 4
What can we do to make the rest of him disappear? Its a large task, I realize...
Posted by MarkyMark on September 21, 2012 at 3:12 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 5
It's not that his penis has shrunk. He has Donelaps disease. His belly done laps over his belt.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on September 21, 2012 at 3:12 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 6

But yeah, Rush pulled that one out of his ass. Yeah, it's gotta be feminism.

You could just as easily say it's due to the increase in the number of shitty movies out there. Or shitty TV. Or, more likely... shitty radio programs.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on September 21, 2012 at 3:13 PM · Report this
very bad homo 7
If you don't have a big dick, at least you can still *be* a big dick.
Posted by very bad homo on September 21, 2012 at 3:16 PM · Report this
Aurora Erratic 8
OT but FYI (or FSI: For Somebody's Information) I really hate than immobile banner ad across the bottom of the screen. It's worse than those annoying Meebo toolbars, in that there's no way to make it go away.
Posted by Aurora Erratic on September 21, 2012 at 3:19 PM · Report this
Hernandez 9
Just because you can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's shrinking.
Posted by Hernandez on September 21, 2012 at 3:20 PM · Report this
@8, click on the translucent part above the add. It goes away.

Posted by Bohica on September 21, 2012 at 3:34 PM · Report this
I'm guessing it's a combination of feminazis and prescription drug abuse.…
Posted by tiktok on September 21, 2012 at 3:53 PM · Report this
Even if he was trying to tie rise in use of hormonal birth control with estrogen in the water supply with male development, it'd be a huge (unbelievable) stretch.
Posted by doceb on September 21, 2012 at 3:58 PM · Report this
It's probably endocrine disruptors in the environment.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on September 21, 2012 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 14
Every so often I tune into Rush in the hopes that I will hear him have a fatal heart attack on the air. So far no good, but it won't be long. Maybe when Republicans lose the House in November?
Posted by Gurldoggie on September 21, 2012 at 4:08 PM · Report this
SPG 15
Male fish are developing female organs now. Hmmm....must be political.
Posted by SPG on September 21, 2012 at 4:08 PM · Report this
Luisa 16
I confess. I helped. I'm partially responsible for Rush's shrinking penis. It's a filthy job but someone had to do it. At an opportune moment in my dark past, I had idle hands, and the Devil came by and asked if he could use them as playthings.
Posted by Luisa on September 21, 2012 at 5:38 PM · Report this
doloresdaphne 17
Either it's my fault (for decorating the edges of my visualisation wall chart with bee dicks, or it's the estrogen in the water from all the petrochemicals.

I first learned about this stuff from the plastic wars;
A short film made in 2001 by David Thrussell
Posted by doloresdaphne on September 21, 2012 at 5:44 PM · Report this
SRJ 18
I love this story, and am losing weight from having to think about Rush Limbaugh's penis.
Posted by SRJ on September 21, 2012 at 6:51 PM · Report this
Someone sounds defensive about the effects of his opiate addiction.
Posted by K3 on September 21, 2012 at 10:51 PM · Report this
sirkowski 20
That was such obvious trolling. You didn't need to take the bait.
Posted by sirkowski on September 22, 2012 at 12:54 AM · Report this
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on September 22, 2012 at 10:59 AM · Report this
Ipso Facto 22
@7 FTW

@0: "A recent Italian study found that the average male penis size has shrunk 10 percent over the last 50 years."

And how has the average female penis size fared over the same time period?

@8: Welcome to a better world.

@all: This is funny.
Posted by Ipso Facto on September 22, 2012 at 3:30 PM · Report this
Does Limpbag ever joke on his show? Wonder how you would tell because this rant sounds like a joke.
Posted by Patricia Kayden on September 22, 2012 at 6:50 PM · Report this
rowan redwing 24
Agreeing with @22 on, "@7 FTW."
Posted by rowan redwing on September 23, 2012 at 12:43 AM · Report this
Skye Blu 25
Oh, oh! It was me! If no one else will claim the honour I will!
Posted by Skye Blu on September 23, 2012 at 9:03 PM · Report this
The only thing that study proves is that men have gotten more honest over the last fifty years. :P
Posted by Sierra Clives on September 24, 2012 at 1:10 AM · Report this
Of course, if you actually read the study it says that it's likely caused by obesity, high fat diets and pollution. So, Rush is the poster child for tiny dicks. Frankly, I don't think this is surprising at all.

BTW ladies, I eat a lot of low fat, no pollution veggies from my garden and I'm a slim 180lbs... Just sayin'.
Posted by Root on September 24, 2012 at 9:02 AM · Report this

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