Mittmentum! Republican nominee Mitt Romney finally passed a 24-hour period without (being caught) saying anything profoundly stupid. Too late for his party though, whose prospects of taking the Senate appear to be tanking with Romney.

Because running as a shill for capital worked so well for Mitt. Former Republican presidential hopeful Tim Pawlenty has launched his 2016 campaign by becoming a banking industry lobbyist.

Because they could. Senate Republicans have blocked a $1 billion veteran jobs bill sponsored by WA's Sen. Patty Murray, mostly just to deny President Obama a pre-election legislative victory.

Hide your sandwiches! Zaftig New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is heading back out to Washington again to stump for Rob McKenna.

You'd think they'd have more pressing things to be angry about. Hundreds of YouTube incensed Pakistani protesters clashed with riot police in the latest demonstration of the Muslim street's utter humorlessness.

I've seen the pictures, and her breasts aren't all that great. Hundreds of angry Britons will not clash with riot police over news that a Danish magazine has published topless photos of Princess Kate.

A great opportunity to drill for more oil! Arctic ice shrank to a new low this summer, 18 percent below the previous record. Nothing to see here.

A desperate howl for help. A 7-year-old beagle survived a 70-foot jump from a New Jersey bridge, suffering only minor bruises.

My, what a love tan your penis has. A man arrested for allegedly masturbating in Seattle's Cowen Park, told police he was just sunbathing. His penis.

I must remember this trick the next time I murder my wife and need to dispose of her body. I've often quipped that any meat slow cooked with onions would be tender and delicious. Apparently, it's true.