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Thursday, September 20, 2012

T-Paw Is Done Eating the Republican Party's Shit

Posted by on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 at 12:57 PM

Goldy told you about this in The Morning News, but it's worth deeper consideration. Here's the lede from the New York Times:

Tim Pawlenty, the former governor of Minnesota, is resigning as a national co-chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign to take a job in Washington as a top lobbyist for a group representing banks and financial companies.

For the last year and a half, I've kind of felt sorry for Tim Pawlenty. Not because I like his policies—he's a Bush neocon, through and through—but because he's just a total loser who always keeps trying. I respect that. He was a top contender for John McCain's vice presidential candidate in 2008, and he got rolled over for some crazy governor with a vocabulary that only ran 35 words deep. He ran for president in 2012, but he got his pasty white ass whipped by Michele Bachmann. Let me repeat that: A majority of voters at the Iowa Straw Poll thought Michele Bachmann was a more serious, electable presidential candidate than Tim Pawlenty.

Pawlenty tried to be a kingmaker for Romney in the Minnesota caucus, and it turns out he couldn't even deliver his home state. Rick Santorum won that one big, and Ron fucking Paul came in second place, leaving Romney in a distant third. And then Pawlenty was running neck-and-neck with Rob Portman for Romney's VP slot. And he got passed over again, this time for some punk kid with a serious lying problem. And so where does Pawlenty find himself, after decades of good and faithful service for the Republican party? He gets the honorary position of co-chairman of a campaign that struggles to get through a single day without a disaster of some sort.

Make no mistake: Pawlenty didn't have to leave Romney's campaign right now. Any job of that caliber can wait a month and a half, until after the election. And this isn't the kind of job that a man with an eye on presidential politics would take. You can't go to lobbying for big banks, to advocating for Wall Street, in this political climate and expect to win 50 +1 percent of the votes in any election after that. This is Tim Pawlenty saying he's done with the whole shit show. It's not a polite, salaryman's exit with a gold watch and a grocery store sheet cake. This is a tremendous, public fuck you to everyone: Romney, Reince Preibus, all the staff that Pawlenty has worked with for the last year and a half. This is him showing no confidence in the Romney campaign and not caring who sees it. This is a message, and the message is, "you treated me like shit and now I'm fucking you over. How does it feel?"

Sure, he's a weaselly prick who hates the poor and will never work an honest day in his life. Of course he's going to make so much money that he'll never have to look at another poor person again, unless that person is pouring his brandy or driving his car. And absolutely, he was a terrible candidate, a bad politician, and a bad human being. But somehow, I can't help but feel a little proud of Tim Pawlenty today. He just told Mitt Romney to take this job and shove it, and that must be a remarkably satisfying feeling.


Comments (11) RSS

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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 1
Nay, nay, nay. He waited until after it became glaringly obvious to anyone, even the most thickheaded Republican toady, that Mitt Romney is not, not now, not ever, going to be President of the United States. He would have kept on kissing his ass if he or anyone with half a brain, thought Mitt could possibly, maybe win.

Could have been a little bit proud of him if he'd said fuck you while there was still a slim chance that he was saying it to the next President, but all he's done here is tell off a guy who has, and will always have, nothing to offer.

After Romney loses he's going to be even more reviled than John Kerry was, and for far longer.
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on September 20, 2012 at 1:10 PM · Report this
Andrew Cole 2
Well, now I'm imagining him walking out cradling the job offer in his arms like Richard Gere at the end of An Officer and a Gentleman. "Up where we belong," indeed.
Posted by Andrew Cole on September 20, 2012 at 1:18 PM · Report this
Nope. The first rat to scramble off a sinking ship isn't the smarter or more virtuous rat. It's still just a fucking rat that was closest to the exit.
Posted by johnjjeeves on September 20, 2012 at 1:39 PM · Report this
The post is fun, but its central idea is shaky:
Any job of that caliber can wait a month and a half, until after the election.
Pawlenty's main selling point to this lobbying organization is that he is a nominally respected, moderately prominent, and fairly noncontroversial failed politician. They have an opening for someone who fits that description, and they're willing to pay the person they hire a lot of money.

You know what there's going to be a lot more of in about seven weeks, and still more after the new year? Nominally respected, moderately prominent, fairly noncontroversial failed politicians, that's what. Pawlenty was smart to make sure the job was his before it could have been claimed by Scott Brown, to name just one example. And if the Dems were to have a really good election, a failed Republican politician might not seem like such a hot commodity, anyhow, and Ben Nelson might get the job instead.
Posted by Warren Terra on September 20, 2012 at 2:07 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 5
@ 4, the idea that they need a lobbyist so bad that they'd ask him to leave a hugely important job like co-chair the Republican presidential nominee's campaign is what's shaky. A prospective employer would ordinarily regard someone eager to jump ship before a job is finished with suspicion. Who's to say he wouldn't also leave them in the lurch on a whim?

No, Paul is undoubtedly closer to the mark, if not right on it.
Posted by Matt from Denver on September 20, 2012 at 3:02 PM · Report this
Must be a day for 'Fuck You's". Reid earlier stated that senate republicans were rigging today's schedule so that Brown could get out of his debate tonight with Warren (in line with Brown's own announcement that he would be blowing off the debate this eve if there's a vote). So Reid cancelled voting for the rest of the day and told Brown he wouldn't be dodging out tonight.…
Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on September 20, 2012 at 3:03 PM · Report this
I'm not saying that his new employers were unwilling to wait to fill the slot. I'm saying that TPaw must be aware that if he were to wait seven weeks to start working his new employers might reconsider their hiring decision or the salary, given that after the election there will be a greatly changed field of available job candidates and potentially a changed political landscape might alter the type of job candidate wanted.
Posted by Warren Terra on September 20, 2012 at 3:42 PM · Report this
His name is perfect for slogans. How's this: "Not enough for the Poor. Pawlenty for the Rich."
Posted by PoorYorick on September 20, 2012 at 5:10 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 9
@ 7, it amounts to the same thing. No one would be impressed with someone ditching a major, highly visible job like that before it's finished under ordinary circumstances. They wouldn't entice someone away from such an important job under ordinary circumstances. You're positing ordinary circumstances.

But let's put that aside for the moment and consider what you're saying. There may well be other GOP pols who will lose their elections, but they'll still be on the job until January. TPaw is already available before any of them. The opportunity you're thinking about will not change or disappear in the next seven weeks. More than likely they agreed on all that anyway and it's too late for the organization to change their mind.

So it comes back to Why now instead of after the election? And the only answer that makes sense is that TPaw is getting the hell out of Dodge.
Posted by Matt from Denver on September 20, 2012 at 5:24 PM · Report this
The Republican Party is sinking... better take the money and run.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on September 20, 2012 at 8:52 PM · Report this
long-time reader 11
50 plus 1 percent, I wish! We don't have a popular vote for President; we have an electoral college. Theoretically you could win the presidency with a bare majority in the smallest states comprising half the electoral college. This is actually less than 25% of the popular vote, thanks to the Constitution giving two senators to each state.
Posted by long-time reader on September 20, 2012 at 9:03 PM · Report this

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