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Thursday, September 13, 2012

2012 Rush Limbaugh Wants You to Hear His Crazy Osama/Obama Theory

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Sep 13, 2012 at 5:47 PM

"What if Ayman al-Zawahiri and other al-Qaeda leaders gave up Osama bin Laden for the express purpose of making Obama look good?" Limbaugh asked his audience..."Al Qaeda was not depending on Osama bin Laden for operational leadership," Limbaugh asserted. "His day had come and gone." Letting go of an "expendable" bin Laden would net Obama "instant political capital," and help further the militants' anti-Israel cause.

I have a theory, too. What if al-Qaeda wanted to further their cause in America? And so, years ago, before al-Qaeda even publicly existed, they recruited an alleged sex tourist with a big, blowsy voice and gave him a radio show to garner a large conservative audience. Say they positioned him to push the fringe of the Republican party further and further into religious conservatism—he'd let loose with rants against women's rights, against freedom of speech, against pacifism, and his audience would learn to love those rants—and against Constitutional rights.

Are you still with me? Now, say al-Qaeda wanted their sleeper agent to activate in 2012, and so he launched into his credulous audience a series of bizarre conspiracy theories—that the president was handed Osama bin Laden for some oblique political purpose, that the president can control the weather—in the hopes of electing two of the most prominent members of the American conservative movement to complete the transition to a theocratic, freedom-hating state? Can you imagine the forethought and devious planning that would have to go into something like this? What if—and I'm just asking questions, here—what if this theory turned out to be true?

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Comments (27) RSS

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What if Reagan made an arms for hostages deal and told Iran to hold the hostages until after the election? It only makes sense to neocons who would agree to betray the country for political gain.

Posted by biffp on September 13, 2012 at 5:59 PM

What if Bush II, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Feith, Rice, Bolton, Powell, et al. didn't bother going after bin Laden because they knew he was worth far more to the military-industrial complex as a bogeyman to haunt the dreams (and insure the support) of average Americans?

Posted by rob!

on September 13, 2012 at 6:16 PM

@2
That sounds far more logical.
And it explains why none of those people were pushing to find bin Laden all the years when they had the political power to do so.

Posted by fairly.unbalanced on September 13, 2012 at 6:26 PM

all of this is filled w/awesome.

But I definitely think we should pursue/promote the Limbaugh angle.

Posted by gnossos on September 13, 2012 at 6:30 PM

All these things would be a bureaucratic nightmare.

Posted by Foonken2

on September 13, 2012 at 6:36 PM

Al Franken was right

Posted by sperifera on September 13, 2012 at 6:36 PM

I don't know which bothers me more - Limbaugh's voice or Constant's writing? They're equally full of themselves.

Posted by dnt trust me on September 13, 2012 at 6:41 PM

@2, ah yes, the famous press conference months after 9/11 where Bush said he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about bin Laden. He had his pretext, and was enjoying his war.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PGmnz5Ow…

Posted by biffp on September 13, 2012 at 6:53 PM

@7 To me it has to be Constant's naive, two-dimensional tribalism.

We all know Rush Limbaugh is not an authority on anything but Dr. shopping and the sex trade. But he's the real whore for selling low margin EIB toilet seats and soap.

Posted by dirac on September 13, 2012 at 7:02 PM

@3 It's straight from the works of Josef Goebbels.

@7 Nice try, corporate shill.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on September 13, 2012 at 7:16 PM

9, 10 - Two-dimensional tribalism? Corporate shill? Sorry, I don't have the energy to speak those dialects this evening.

Posted by dnt trust me on September 13, 2012 at 7:25 PM

It's as good an explanation for that hateful fat windbag's existence as any.

Posted by Brooklyn Reader on September 13, 2012 at 7:34 PM

What if Rush Limbaugh got a real job working for a pay cable or satellite network instead of mooching off the public airwaves?

Posted by Demetria on September 13, 2012 at 8:04 PM

What the dicks

Posted by venomlash on September 13, 2012 at 8:48 PM

Is he even trying to sound sane anymore? Does he just have a bet with someone about the most retarded things he could possibly say and still not get kicked off the air?

The worst part is that someone, somewhere probably heard it and thought 'wow, it makes so much sense!'

Fucking disgraceful.

Posted by Pick1 on September 13, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Or what if 66 years ago the Pre-al-Qaida organization had someone pretend to be Mormon woman, marry into the Romney family and raise a sleeper cell child who would then run for president and plunge the world into chaos.

Posted by Chef Thunder on September 13, 2012 at 9:37 PM

What a nightmare job: bloviating red meat to right wingers hours a day for decades. And doing some of it on drugs while going deaf from the drugs? Wow.

I really do think he (tragically) has talent, he just uses it to bad ends.

I also think there is no way to do that and say sane stuff every day. Can't be done.

The beauty of news is you get handed stuff that mostly actually happens and you mostly repeat it. The horror of commentary is thinking up stuff out of whole cloth.

Posted by david on September 13, 2012 at 9:46 PM

Paul, you are a municipal treasure.

Posted by bioavailable on September 13, 2012 at 9:56 PM

Paul doesn't belong just to Seattle! He belongs to the whole Internet! HE'S EVERYONE'S TREASURE!

Chuds like Limbaugh on the other hand are cheerleaders for brutality. He's just horrible.

Posted by Puty on September 13, 2012 at 10:45 PM

If they start pushing this bullshit the Republicans are toast.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on September 14, 2012 at 3:23 AM

@15: it's not 'someone, somewhere' who believed it. It's hundreds of thousands of people at least. And more who WANT to believe it.

Posted by NateMan on September 14, 2012 at 6:40 AM

I think he's on the take from ALCOA (come on, no one really uses TIN foil anymore...)

Posted by Cracker Jack on September 14, 2012 at 7:12 AM

people people people

limbaugh is HUMOR that only conservatives can hear

he was using conservative irony and we libs are unable to understand

because we hate america just like Obama does

Posted by Max Solomon on September 14, 2012 at 7:53 AM

This is Constant's best post. More humor, please. Less tea-baggy-like, persnickety snark.

Posted by mitten on September 14, 2012 at 8:06 AM

If Rush Limbaugh talks on the radio and no one repeats what he says, does he make a sound? Let's try it and find out.

Posted by MDA on September 14, 2012 at 8:53 AM

Paul didn't SAY that he was talking about Rush Limbaugh, but until Limbaugh denies this is the case, how are we supposed to know it ISN'T the case? (a la Glenn Beck)

Posted by bookworm on September 14, 2012 at 10:24 AM

Oh my god. Listening to Rush Limbaugh's voice just gives me a migraine. Please, no more links to videos with Rush Limbaugh ever again.

Posted by Not Your Mom on September 14, 2012 at 2:12 PM