Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, September 5, 2012
2012 I Got More Hair on My Chest than Chuck Norris
Posted by Charles Mudede on Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Norris and his wife see "1000 years of blackness darkness" if Obama is reelected. Because Obama is a black socialist, it's better to vote for a white Mormon. A Mormon, unlike a socialist, will not fundamentally change the America evangelical Christians have known and loved for less than 250 years.
For those wondering about the post's title.
1
Ok, so the title references the song, but still... Chuck Norris is one hairy motherfucker.
Here's a still from his role in Bruce Lee's film Way of the Dragon:
http://bzfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/201…
Spoiler Alert... Bruce Lee kicks the shit out of Norris.
Here's a still from his role in Bruce Lee's film Way of the Dragon:
http://bzfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/201…
Spoiler Alert... Bruce Lee kicks the shit out of Norris.
2
It's funny but I have to agree with a lot of what Norris says here. I, too, believe that the fate of the country is on the tipping point and the results of this next election will determine whether the United States remains its pre-eminient place amoung nations. I, too, believe that we are in danger of losing the freedoms we take for granted.
But not because of Obama. It is the republican's who want to take away everything this country stands for. All they seem to want is an America where equality is only for white men of property; women's place is in the home - and if she get's raped, well, she asked for it; freedom of religion only applies to evangelical Christians; corporations are people; fetuses have more rights than minorities and gun rights triumph everything.
The future scares me too, that's why I'm volunteering for Obama.
But not because of Obama. It is the republican's who want to take away everything this country stands for. All they seem to want is an America where equality is only for white men of property; women's place is in the home - and if she get's raped, well, she asked for it; freedom of religion only applies to evangelical Christians; corporations are people; fetuses have more rights than minorities and gun rights triumph everything.
The future scares me too, that's why I'm volunteering for Obama.
4
Why does everybody care if the US is "pre-eminent place among nations?" You know Italy, Spain, and France are all former empires. And they pretty great places to live.
We had our shot. Let somebody else take the helm. The next century is going to be one giant cluster fuck regardless, so who needs the added pressure of maintaining hegemony. Let China or India handle it. Let their kids fight the wars. Let their tax payers blow all their money on defense.
Poor Norris. I met him at the big annual martial arts show in Vegas years back - when he was still a viable "star." Real mellow and personable guy. I knew he was right wing, but I had no idea he was a total kook. What a shame.
We had our shot. Let somebody else take the helm. The next century is going to be one giant cluster fuck regardless, so who needs the added pressure of maintaining hegemony. Let China or India handle it. Let their kids fight the wars. Let their tax payers blow all their money on defense.
Poor Norris. I met him at the big annual martial arts show in Vegas years back - when he was still a viable "star." Real mellow and personable guy. I knew he was right wing, but I had no idea he was a total kook. What a shame.
5
Apropos to 2, I too worry for the future. And while Obama vs. Romney is a small part of that, it is pretty darn small. Sure, Romney is a piece of cardboard and other people will actually run his government for him, and Obama seems more in control of the current admin, the fact is both will continue to push for increased executive power, as has been the case since the 80s. The same time period, curiously enough, economic equality has declined to pre-WWI standards... ie. great inequality.
The larger issue is the fact that power is fully in bed with money, and with no debt amnesty or jubliee in sight, the now-globalized economy is creating enormous tidal forces that threaten to wipe out savings and impoverish millions of people. The cycle of history is pushing towards debt peonage at a rapid rate, and if the ruling class doesn't do something about it (eg. absolve debts and restore equality), it will likely lead to a vigorous resistance, as it has time and again for the past 4000 years. They believe they can forestall this with increased monitoring and incarceration, but can they?
Neither Romney nor Obama will fundamentally change this reality. Debt, and those who own your debt, have increasing amounts of power over our lives. And we are all at the mercy of the global economy. Which is a wholly crap arrangement.
As Ambrose Bierce pointed out: DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver.
The larger issue is the fact that power is fully in bed with money, and with no debt amnesty or jubliee in sight, the now-globalized economy is creating enormous tidal forces that threaten to wipe out savings and impoverish millions of people. The cycle of history is pushing towards debt peonage at a rapid rate, and if the ruling class doesn't do something about it (eg. absolve debts and restore equality), it will likely lead to a vigorous resistance, as it has time and again for the past 4000 years. They believe they can forestall this with increased monitoring and incarceration, but can they?
Neither Romney nor Obama will fundamentally change this reality. Debt, and those who own your debt, have increasing amounts of power over our lives. And we are all at the mercy of the global economy. Which is a wholly crap arrangement.
As Ambrose Bierce pointed out: DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver.
6
"Our like-minded American brothers and sisters"?!
Gee, who could you possibly be referring to, Mrs. Norris?
Gee, who could you possibly be referring to, Mrs. Norris?
7
Short of launching all of our nukes there is nothing, not a single thing, that Obama could do today that would have a noticeable impact 1000 years out, with the possible exception of global warming but Romney and Obama aren't so far apart on this that it will make a 1000 year difference. This guy has got a whole lot of pent up irrational fear for a guy that can roundhouse kick the sun into next week.
BTW, why does he give a shit about 1000 years from now? I thought we were in the end times. Doesn't he believe his book? Hasn't he listened to all of his insane preachers saying the anti-christ is among us...just like he has been every year since the concept of the anti-christ was invented?
BTW, why does he give a shit about 1000 years from now? I thought we were in the end times. Doesn't he believe his book? Hasn't he listened to all of his insane preachers saying the anti-christ is among us...just like he has been every year since the concept of the anti-christ was invented?
8
Wealthy old white guy urges people to vote against Obama.
Why, specifically?
Cue up the dog-whistles.
Why, specifically?
Cue up the dog-whistles.
9
This is my favorite part. Mr. Norris really knows how to build suspense, doesn't he? Almost like he's writing copy for an action-movie poster.
But who will save us? Perhaps it will be the
"Socialism, or something much worse..."
This is my favorite part. Mr. Norris really knows how to build suspense, doesn't he? Almost like he's writing copy for an action-movie poster.
But who will save us? Perhaps it will be the
"Last, best hope for Man on Earth."
10
@4,
It may just be a coincidence of history, but it's really interesting to me that those countries really started investing heavily in its own people (through widespread social welfare, universal health care, subsidized education) at the same time that they were giving up their African and Asian colonies. I can't help but wonder how much further the Great Society could have gone had it not been for our involvement in Vietnam.
If the Great Society had benefited more non-elderly, middle class people, maybe we wouldn't have such bitter opposition to the "entitlement" society from contemporary white, middle class Americans.
It may just be a coincidence of history, but it's really interesting to me that those countries really started investing heavily in its own people (through widespread social welfare, universal health care, subsidized education) at the same time that they were giving up their African and Asian colonies. I can't help but wonder how much further the Great Society could have gone had it not been for our involvement in Vietnam.
If the Great Society had benefited more non-elderly, middle class people, maybe we wouldn't have such bitter opposition to the "entitlement" society from contemporary white, middle class Americans.
12
Hi, we're rich and white. Let's unite for Legitimate Rape for Americans, or boy howdy, it's gonna be dark.
14
Gina is really awkward with the teleprompter. I wonder if any of the people who shit on Obama for using one will mind?
15
The choice between a black socialist and a white mormon (is there any other kind) has me all confuzzeled.
There is no winning answer.
These are truly the end times for this nation.
There is no winning answer.
These are truly the end times for this nation.
16
"Our country as we know it"! Christ it's been raped and torn apart by radical religious extremists, corporate CEOs making 400 times more than the man on the shop floor, stubborn Republicans that hate Black men in the White House, and Churches that teach hate and bigotry. THAT is the country we have and know now. I don't want it. Obama is trying to move us away from America as we know it.
17
@15 - Sorry, I think you meant to say the choice between a black socialist, and a white mormon socialist.
18
I would love to see Mr. Mudede apologize for the legions of the murdered heaped upon the ideology of revolutionary communism.
I'm sure that darky would find some means to turn it all around, with a clever quip or appeal to the choir. It does not defeat the point, though. Communism, even more efficiently than fascism, is responsible for more crushed dreams, more shattered families, and more mountains of the slain, than any other political ideology on earth. Why don't you murder and rape some more white farmers in your homeland? Of course, the rights of whites in once colonized nations are absolutely inconsequential in the eyes of anti-colonial ideology. But here's the fucking fact; you're bullshit is actual fucking murder, and you will NEVER be fucking rid of it. There is nothing you can possible fucking say to cover the fact that you, by your beliefs and political ideology, are complicit in murder.
Go swing from a fucking tree.
I'm sure that darky would find some means to turn it all around, with a clever quip or appeal to the choir. It does not defeat the point, though. Communism, even more efficiently than fascism, is responsible for more crushed dreams, more shattered families, and more mountains of the slain, than any other political ideology on earth. Why don't you murder and rape some more white farmers in your homeland? Of course, the rights of whites in once colonized nations are absolutely inconsequential in the eyes of anti-colonial ideology. But here's the fucking fact; you're bullshit is actual fucking murder, and you will NEVER be fucking rid of it. There is nothing you can possible fucking say to cover the fact that you, by your beliefs and political ideology, are complicit in murder.
Go swing from a fucking tree.
19
Those are some amazing CG characters. Too bad they couldn't get the animation right though, or it would be flawless. I mean, look at the way Chuck's mouth moves as he talks; no human being moves their mouth like that.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Portland Voters Are Stoopid by Goldy
-
An I-5 Bridge Over the Skagit River Has Collapsed by Paul Constant
-
Why They Break Windows by Unpaid Intern
-
Usually When I'm Sent a Photoshopped Image of a Gun Pointed At Me... by Dan Savage
-
Did You Steal Our Unpaid Intern's Camera? by Goldy
-
Tornado Truthers by Dan Savage
-
The Only Thing More Tragic than a Bridge Collapse Would Be a 10 Cent a Gallon Increase in the Gas Tax by Goldy
-
Star Trek Releases Deleted Scene of Benedict Cumberbatch Showering to Counter Claims of Sexism by Cienna Madrid
-
Boy Scouts Lift Ban on Gay Members by Paul Constant
-
SL Letter of the Day: Not A Prude... And Not Just Not That... by Dan Savage
Stranger Personals
The Stranger
RSSSeattle Art & Performance Quarterly
A complete guide to Seattle's current art, film, dance, and theater season.
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (19) RSS