Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, September 5, 2012
Politics Gays, Ruining One Marriage at a Time
Posted by David Schmader on Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 12:48 PM
From the Campaign for American Values SuperPAC, a quietly harrowing domestic scene.
Good luck with that, bigots.
1
Oh man, the secret is out: Obama is forcing people to gay marry. I voted for the change of sending dumbfucks to the moon with no oxygen, but I guess I'll still support Obama with his forcing people to gay marry. Romney just doesn't seem to have an economic plan, and what President hides his money from the US government in offshore accounts?
2
Any human being who puts that much anger into their world view is secretly or I guess now not so secretly completely and totally homosexual. Anyone who spent any of their money promoting this message will be coming out of the closet before they die.
3
Oh come on look at that lady. She totally had her college roommate's fist inside her at some point.
4
Yeah, when Obama wrote gay marriage into the Constitution a couple months ago, I knew he was going too far.
Oh, he didn't do that? Ok, when he signed that law legalizing it, THAT was too far.
He didn't do that either?
Wait, how did he force it on us again?
Oh, he didn't do that? Ok, when he signed that law legalizing it, THAT was too far.
He didn't do that either?
Wait, how did he force it on us again?
5
I would rather vote for forced gay marriages than tax cuts for rich people, and that is the absolute truth.
Mostly I would like to vote for forced gay marriage for rich people, though. HILARIOUS!
Mostly I would like to vote for forced gay marriage for rich people, though. HILARIOUS!
6
Right at 0:18, the man moves his lips as if he's about to bark "faggots!" with the exasperated tone of a "Newman!" What else would I expect from the couple that boasts BOTH Goldfish flavors for their guests to envy.
7
"What can we do?" - We can go down to our local gay bar, enter feeling morally superior, have one too many martinis, actually talk to some of the gay customers, end up being convinced that Obama doesn't want to force people to turn gay just to get married, my wife ends up with some dress style tips, I learn to groom myself better, they lend us some of their surplus I.Q. points and the first season of "Modern Family", we come home and post a Yes on 74 sign in our yard, we put on some Judy Garland LPs and decide that a vote for Romney-Ryan would be detrimental to our physical, mental and financial health. [aside to director: does this fit into your 30-second format?]
9
"Don't worry, honey, I'll tell you who you need to vote for. Now stop all of that unnecessary independent thinking, or you'll get wrinkles."
10
@6 I giggled at that part because the guy was obviously stumbling over his line, but I pretended it was his character just trying to agree with his wife.
WIFE: Marriage is between a man and a woman
HUSBAND: [IN WAVERING VOICE] That's... not the change I voted for either.
WIFE: What are you, gay?
HUSBAND: [HURRIEDLY] What? No! I like vaginas! I mean your vagina. For life. One—your vagina... vaginas.
WIFE shoots HUSBAND suspicious glance, then returns to putting the finishing touches on her "God Hates Fags" rally poster.
VO: Romney Ryan: Pro-America, Pro-vagina.
Fade to black
11
What a strange ad. I mean, it makes no argument whatsoever and contains nothing by way of substance. And I know there's nothing WITH substance to their cause, but this is just a total waste of time & money. I'd actually like to meet the person who was sitting on the fence with regard to this issue and had this particular ad sway them. I can't believe I'm even wasting the time it takes to type these stupid words about such a stupid video. Fuck! I gotta go thaw out them hamburgers. I'll catch up to you fools later. What a dumb ad.
13
Srsly? I suppose this appeals to the "ick" factor in those people conditioned all their lives to have the "ick" reaction. But, seriously...
I'm straight. I'm married. I suppose my only "ick" factor would be if I were to try and imagine myself in a same-sex relationship, but it's not an issue because I can't think of a reason to spend any time doing that. So, dealing with the reality, how does same-sex marriage affect married straight couples?
I can't for the life of me think of a single negative. We might get invited to a couple more weddings in our lifetimes. Setting aside the fact that invitations are not mandates and you could probably weasel out of it, most weddings are a lot of fun and why would you want to miss the wedding of a friend or relative? There'd be fewer troubled people around, as gay and conflicted kids could grow up to be gay but healthy and well-adjusted adults with supportive partners and lives. Fewer troubled people would make for a happier society, at least if the shithead bigots would knock off their shit.
What negative difference would it make to me if my gay neighbors, coworkers, or relatives, who already live together as a couple, actually could get married? Any? None? So, who cares? Actually, it would probably save me money. More public funds get spent on the unplanned needs of single people than on a married couple, because they support each other.
So... I don't get it. Whatever happened to MYOB? I wish Ann Landers was still here so she could remind the bigots to. She had a way of speaking common sense in a way that people listened. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear Dan Savage bought her desk, and I couldn't think of a better person to own it, but damn... I miss her.
More...
I'm straight. I'm married. I suppose my only "ick" factor would be if I were to try and imagine myself in a same-sex relationship, but it's not an issue because I can't think of a reason to spend any time doing that. So, dealing with the reality, how does same-sex marriage affect married straight couples?
I can't for the life of me think of a single negative. We might get invited to a couple more weddings in our lifetimes. Setting aside the fact that invitations are not mandates and you could probably weasel out of it, most weddings are a lot of fun and why would you want to miss the wedding of a friend or relative? There'd be fewer troubled people around, as gay and conflicted kids could grow up to be gay but healthy and well-adjusted adults with supportive partners and lives. Fewer troubled people would make for a happier society, at least if the shithead bigots would knock off their shit.
What negative difference would it make to me if my gay neighbors, coworkers, or relatives, who already live together as a couple, actually could get married? Any? None? So, who cares? Actually, it would probably save me money. More public funds get spent on the unplanned needs of single people than on a married couple, because they support each other.
So... I don't get it. Whatever happened to MYOB? I wish Ann Landers was still here so she could remind the bigots to. She had a way of speaking common sense in a way that people listened. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear Dan Savage bought her desk, and I couldn't think of a better person to own it, but damn... I miss her.
14
The most ridiculous thing about this ad is that bigots don't talk like this in the comfort of their own homes. They don't see issues like this as a question of "values" or "protecting the traditional definition of marriage". Those are just code words and phrases they use in public in some semblance of civil discourse. Privately, they just don't like gay people. They don't want to validate the existence of gay people by giving them rights, because they don't want gay people to exist.
16
Who cares if teh gheys can get married?
Who cares so much that this will change their vote?
Instead, I think this is directed towards the people who might stay home because they really cannot bring themselves to vote FOR Romney.
But they aren't comfortable with voting AGAINST Obama just because he's Obama.
So they can feel comfortable getting out and voting AGAINST gay marriage.
After all, even people who liked Obama before are doing it.
Who cares so much that this will change their vote?
Instead, I think this is directed towards the people who might stay home because they really cannot bring themselves to vote FOR Romney.
But they aren't comfortable with voting AGAINST Obama just because he's Obama.
So they can feel comfortable getting out and voting AGAINST gay marriage.
After all, even people who liked Obama before are doing it.
18
Strictly speaking, it wasn't the change I voted for either, since Mr. Obama was not (publicly) in favor of marriage equality at the time.
But it's a nice bonus.
But it's a nice bonus.
21
I want to see an ad showing a fictitious engaged gay couple bribing an unethical reception hall manager for an already-booked date, thereby bumping some fictitious straight couple's wedding AND LITERALLY RUINING A STRAIGHT MARRIAGE.
Storm clouds swelling, brides fainting, grandma's passing on their davenports before the new date arrives, a reaction shot from a dog—I want the works.
C'mon biggots, I'm giving you this for free! I am not entertained (enough) yet!
Storm clouds swelling, brides fainting, grandma's passing on their davenports before the new date arrives, a reaction shot from a dog—I want the works.
C'mon biggots, I'm giving you this for free! I am not entertained (enough) yet!
22
I don't know if they don't have the brains to get better production talent, or if they are shopping out the the bargain bin and absorbing donations as 'administrative costs'. South Park, Whose Line Is It Anyway**, SNL, and late nigh talk shows can better develop and execute ideas without much lead time.
**on the freaking spot even.
**on the freaking spot even.
23
Miriam: That's not the change I voted for.
Kieth: I still can't believe you voted for that N____.
Miriam: Watch your language.
Keith: We don't have any kids given this kitchen
Miriam: You can never get it up, what is it you do in your den anyway?
Keith: You know I'm a huge Bears fan.
Miriam: Well, I experimented at Wellesley, but marriage is between a man and a woman. What can we do?
Keith: We can vote for someone with values. That Paul Ryan is a handsome guy.
Miriam: Didn't Romney's grandfather have to move to Mexico because he was a polygamist?
Keith: They can't have a campaign run by fact-checkers.
Miriam: Is the Mormon Church made normal only by the fact that the Scientologists are so fucking nuts?
Keith: I'm going to the den.
Kieth: I still can't believe you voted for that N____.
Miriam: Watch your language.
Keith: We don't have any kids given this kitchen
Miriam: You can never get it up, what is it you do in your den anyway?
Keith: You know I'm a huge Bears fan.
Miriam: Well, I experimented at Wellesley, but marriage is between a man and a woman. What can we do?
Keith: We can vote for someone with values. That Paul Ryan is a handsome guy.
Miriam: Didn't Romney's grandfather have to move to Mexico because he was a polygamist?
Keith: They can't have a campaign run by fact-checkers.
Miriam: Is the Mormon Church made normal only by the fact that the Scientologists are so fucking nuts?
Keith: I'm going to the den.
24
I showed this to my middle school students without comment, and they ALL busted up when the husband started to talk. <3
26
I'm with Dougsf, it looks (and sounds) like the actor was about to say something else entirely, but then they do a much, calmer, reasoned voice-over. what a bad commercial; not even with regards to the content. I've loved commercials since I was a kid and this one would have just pissed me off for how poorly executed it is.
27
Oh, joy. This ad needs to get back in the machine and return to 1996.
At least I'm happy with the entertainment value.
At least I'm happy with the entertainment value.
28
Oh crap! How much time do I have to learn to bat to the opposite field, and find an appropriate spouse? Fight Big Government!
29
A marriage is between a man and a woman before god! (A blessed CIVIL UNION) not a union itself this ad dosn't make sence to me. No civil court has the athority over cannon law only civil law! Add the words man to man woman to woman to civil unions.leave the blessing of marriage alone!Christans keept marriages protected and secret for 900 years (9-18centuries) their comming out! Why do you think they would give up now!
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