We had the driest August in recorded Seattle history.

And while esteemed experts say that the current TOTALLY ALARMING weather anomalies are not due to climate change and that they wish media types would stop YELLING ABOUT IT—while noting that "human-induced global warming is both observed, real, and a serious problem for mankind"—I CAN'T HELP IT, I AM FREAKED OUT.

Now to the beautiful weather forecast!*

*Again, we use weather.com because its suns are so nice and yellow. If you'd like to be yelled at about the weather by the National Weather Service (and who wouldn't? The National Weather Service rules), here you go.