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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Crime / Politics Chris Christie Will Never Be President

Posted by Goldy on Tue, Sep 4, 2012 at 2:48 PM

I know Republicans love Chris Christie, and there's all this talk about how his speech in Tampa last week makes him a presidential frontrunner in 2016. But I am confident that he will never be president if for only one reason: Christie is the governor of New Jersey, and as such he will inevitably be tainted by corruption.

(Also, and I've discussed this before, New Jersey governors always appear to be more effective than they really are due to the relative power vacuum in which they operate.)

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Comments (13) RSS

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I remember saying exactly the same thing in '92. Oh, wait, that was about an Arkansas governor.

Posted by mt on September 4, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Plus: too fat.

Posted by tiktok on September 4, 2012 at 3:00 PM

Plus, he looks like Bobby Bacala.

Posted by Varia on September 4, 2012 at 3:02 PM

He's also a giant jackass, but I guess that never stops anyone.

Posted by very bad homo on September 4, 2012 at 3:03 PM

@2 Damn you beat me. But I think you greatly under represent his fatness. More like "Plus: he's fat as fuck"

Posted by Bigsfrottin on September 4, 2012 at 3:08 PM

Christie recently called Jerry Brown a "retread."

That's rich, coming from the Michelin Man.

Posted by rob!

on September 4, 2012 at 3:17 PM

You don't realise how obese Christie is until you see him without a suit jacket on. His ass is huge. Too huge for the video era. Plus, any time he makes a speech with a reference to "America needing to tighten its belt", the audience chuckles involuntarily.

Posted by tiktok on September 4, 2012 at 3:42 PM

Speaking as a gentleman of generous proportions myself, I can assure you that no-one as amply padded as Christie will win a national election. Just not going to happen.

Posted by Warren Terra on September 4, 2012 at 4:20 PM

Yeah, it is sorta unfortunate that "he's fat" is a factor here, since there are so many other perfectly good reasons for Christie to never be allowed to be in charge of anything outside New Jersey - he can have fucking Jersey forever as far as I care - but it will, in fact, be a factor. He's too fat to be a good candidate. Americans may be badly overweight on average, but they don't like to be reminded of that fact.

Posted by balderdash

on September 4, 2012 at 4:23 PM

It's funny - remember all the fat jokes about Bill Clinton? Remember when Phil Hartman played Clinton in an SNL skit where he was eating everyone's food at McDonald's? Bill Clinton's physique is like that of an Ironman triathlete compared to Chris Christie.

Still, what with the obesity epidemic, it's possible that America will want a president who looks like them by 2016.

Posted by Matt from Denver on September 4, 2012 at 5:46 PM