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Sunday, August 26, 2012

2012 / The Weather Tampa Is Red, White, Blue, and Black

Posted by Paul Constant on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Just as my plane was beginning its descent into Tampa, the sky turned a dire black. The gentle blanket of clouds that I'd heard were over the city all day was fleeing northward and some fast, evil-looking beasts were moving in, buffeting my plane and swirling the hot, humid air around in gelatinous chunks. An angry, red sun set in the west, straight down the fault line created in the sky by hurricane. It looks like Isaac is giving Tampa a wide berth, instead aiming itself directly at New Orleans. (It could land there on Wednesday, on the seventh anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. That sound you hear is hundreds of political writers around the country licking their chops at the same time over the prospect of calling back to one of George W. Bush's greatest failures in the middle of the Republican National Convention.) It seems my fears of being stuck in some sort of Terminal-like nightmare at Dallas/Fort Worth Airport were unfounded. I arrived right on time. I almost wrote that I arrived "safe and sound," but even with Isaac shooting far to the west, Tampa is preparing for damage. The winds are ramping up, rain is going to pummel the city for the next 36 hours, and there could be tornadoes. People are storming the grocery stores for bottled water, officials are reminding people that the situation is serious, and President Obama reportedly received a briefing from FEMA today about the safety of convention attendees.

This preparation for Isaac adds another layer to the elaborate preparation that the city has undergone for the Republican National Convention. Billboards along the highway trumpet the national debt in such a gaudy, bright advertising language that it's hard to tell whether they're for or against debt. An ad for something—I think a radio station—proclaims in loud letters, "DON'T BELIEVE THE LIBERAL MEDIA." The airport is all done up in GOP elephants and bunting; an alien might assume that Tampanians are preparing a sacrifice for an elephant god. A local informed me that the downtown area is being "guarded" by soldiers and Hummers. There's a weird mixture of sluggishness and excitement in the air tonight; it's impossible to separate the civic excitement for the convention with the civic dread of Isaac.

Even though the convention's Monday programming has been cancelled, I'm going to go downtown and see what's going on; it seems as though people are still arriving on schedule, and they now have an unexpected free day wedged into their itinerary. But because of the torrential rains, I'm going to leave my computer at the room I'm renting; I don't trust my supposedly waterproof bags and cases to protect my computer from a tropical storm. This means I probably won't have any updates on Slog until tomorrow night, after I come in from the rain. I will probably be updating my Twitter feed if I find anything interesting between now and then. For now, I'm just going to lie in bed and listen to the weather.

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Sounds like an airport in Mordor.

"One does not simply fly into Tampa".

Posted by Tacoma Traveler on August 26, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Good thing the Democrats don't run Louisiana, like during Katrina when they caused all that death and destruction by telling the Feds not to help on the first day of the storm.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on August 26, 2012 at 8:27 PM

FEMA, hmm? So they can't get involved unless the state requests federal assistance, right?

Posted by seatackled on August 26, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Sure, this might cause folks to repeat (again) all the old reels of GWB congratulating Brownie for doing a good job. But if NOLA gets smacked, and Obama's FEMA fucks even one minute thing up, he is toast, toast, toast.

Posted by SeaBradBike on August 26, 2012 at 9:12 PM

Thanks for the update. I was wondering how things were going out there and whether you made it okay.

Posted by Sea J on August 26, 2012 at 9:18 PM

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_gQ7xRbbG-c/UD…

Posted by Tacoma Traveler on August 26, 2012 at 9:22 PM

people who live in tampa are called tampons, not tampanians.

Posted by scary tyler moore

on August 26, 2012 at 9:32 PM

Capital city of White Trash. What a shithole. Perfect for the corporate kleptocrats and their teabagger vassals.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber

on August 26, 2012 at 9:37 PM

If it's heading to New Orleans, what happens to Bobby Jindal's plans?

Posted by seatackled on August 26, 2012 at 9:41 PM

Stay safe, PC.

Posted by VelhoSorriso on August 26, 2012 at 10:14 PM

Welcome to Tampa, Paul. Everyone here is not a neocon. In fact, if you take a look at the Tampa Bay Times op/ed that appeared on the front page, from our previous gov., Charlie Crist (rhymes with pissed). His backing of Obama has created quite a stir. I've never seen anything in local media garner so many comments....mostly supportive.

Keep as dry as you can. Avoid eating anything sold in the Convention Center (where I'm told that media folks are assigned to convene/hang out. Overpriced SLOP.

If you have any need for advice from a local SLOG friend, email me @ djnolan at verizon dot com.

Posted by TampaDink on August 26, 2012 at 11:12 PM

oh, the superficial irony in a Seattleite not having the technology to confidently shield a computer from the rain. maybe it's time to invest in a giant ziploc bag or three?

good luck out there.

Posted by Josh Bis

on August 27, 2012 at 1:09 AM

God's wrath is smoting on Tampa's hateful evangelical Republicans!

Posted by blackhook on August 27, 2012 at 1:42 AM

Paul, if you're in the mood for sushi, go to Matoi, on Dale Mabry near I-275. It's pretty close to the airport and it's the best in town. I don't know how their stock will be with the storm, though.

Sorry I can't come up with any other suggestions for things to do there. I haven't lived in Tampa for a few years now, but I can't imagine it's any less boring than it was back then. There's good sushi and the beach, and at least one of those is probably out of the question.

Is this your first Hurricane?

Posted by Christampa on August 27, 2012 at 3:44 AM

My sister is down there too - she works for CSPAN. If you run into any CSPANNERS be nice to them! Have as much fun as you can, and take care.

Posted by Leoba on August 27, 2012 at 4:50 AM

Very nice writing! Having lived in the toilet with palm trees that is Florida I particularly liked, "swirling the hot, humid air around in gelatinous chunks". That really describes the air most of the year.

As far as sacrifices to an elephant god I think the entire nation is in fact in that process now for 20 years. We are being sacrificed as a country to the great god of the GOP.
Elephant uber alles

Posted by frankdawg on August 27, 2012 at 4:55 AM

One cool thing about the Tampa area is that it has the most nudist resorts in the country. It has family friendly nudist resorts, resorts catering to outdoorsy types and even one that caters to swingers.

Tampa is not filled with a bunch of Bible thumpers. That's North Florida.

Posted by passionate_jus on August 27, 2012 at 6:05 AM

Tampa also has a vibrant GLBT community, is home to several cigar companies and has some great micro breweries.

Skip the convention.

Go here instead:

http://www.cigarcitybrewing.com/

Posted by passionate_jus on August 27, 2012 at 6:12 AM

Does anyone else remember when Republicans were praying for rain when Obama made his big speech in that stadium during the last election? They were all predicting that if it rained it would be proof that god hated Obama.

So, what does it mean when he sends a hurricane at your convention?

Posted by Root on August 27, 2012 at 6:22 AM

"the room I'm renting"? Really, The Stranger can't even spring for a decent hotel room for its political reporter? How is he supposed to rub elbows with the power brokers and gain access to the smoke-filled rooms?

I imagine Our Paul down there in some sort of dreary boarding house where there's a padlock on the door and the mattress has a permanent sag in the middle. He has to go down the hall to use the bathroom, and the room is lit with a single bare bulb. All while Dan & family jet-set around the world and stay in spas where they serve exotic things like souffles.

Stay safe, Paul.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay

on August 27, 2012 at 7:14 AM

@9 - Jindal said he's staying here. We are saying here in LA that if he is actually staying in the state, it must be the storm of the century.

Posted by Sheryl on August 27, 2012 at 10:06 AM

Oh, and FEMA has been planning for this event for a year. I can't tell you how I know that, but I know it.

They are already planning for the inauguration, too.

Posted by Sheryl on August 27, 2012 at 10:16 AM

Florida is one weird place. It's like god took North America by Washington State, shook it, and half the countries serial killers, white supremacists, obese people, conspiracy theorists, red necks, boat shows, gun stores, and poisonous spiders all tumbled down into Florida.

That's not to say there isn't beauty and culture clinging on for dear life down there. There is. But it is lonely.

Posted by tkc on August 27, 2012 at 10:29 AM

Welcome to Florida. Don't believe the Liberal Media and you won't get into any trouble.
And, yes, in a real rain storm, unlike those sissy driblings of the great NW, tropical rains are serious - your water bottle will be filled even with the top screwed on tight.
http://biblioklept.org/2012/07/10/hot-do…

Posted by Gonesouth on August 27, 2012 at 10:50 AM

@23. Skipping over 'Florida' I would think your comment was about Walla Walla, or some where in eastern Oregon. Or maybe even White Center. Have you checked Olympia lately?

There is an awful lot of rich yankee white trash here, too. Eurotrash to boot. And those awful macho Alaskans.

Posted by Gonesouth on August 27, 2012 at 11:06 AM