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Thursday, August 9, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Loves a Man with a Good Nipple

Posted by on Thu, Aug 9, 2012 at 11:15 AM

I'm a bi guy who has a particular type of guy that I find really attractive. Because I'm currently single and have been for some time, I'd love to find some pictures and videos of guys who fit that type, for my own viewing pleasure. The only problem is, I have absolutely no idea what to search for. I get turned on a lot by guys with biggish nipples. Not gigantic, not necessarily ultra muscled, definitely not man boobs, just otherwise conventionally attractive, masculine guys with big tits (think Chris Hemsworth as Captain America—swoons [As readers have noted, Chris Evans plays Captain America and Chris Hemsworth plays Thor—we're guessing the letter writer meant Hemsworth. —Ed.]), instead of the tiny, shriveled things one so often sees. The problem is, if I try to search for something like, say, "hot guy nice nipples," I mostly get false positives, that is to say women. As I'm a bi guy this isn't exactly awful, but I'd like to get some better results for guys. Is there any specific terminology I should be searching for? What, if anything, is this fetish (or however you'd describe it) called? And where did it come from? Where does any fetish come from?

Terminology Impairs Topless Searches

My response after the jump...

There are hundreds of documented fetishes and paraphilias, TITS—some, of course, with a sample size of one lonely soul—but oddly enough, an erotic infatuation with nipples, let alone Hemsworth-like silver dollar nipples (and I agree, by the way, that’s quite hot and reminds me of my own first object of desire), is not among them. Nipple love is probably just so common, and harmless, that it hasn’t received any serious empirical scrutiny. In other words, I’m afraid you’re just too average to get your own proper terminology for use in your Google porn searches. Sexologists love their taxonomies but, typically, word labels are reserved for deviant arousal patterns that cause patients to seek psychiatric help because of their distress, or to be ordered by the authorities to receive clinical evaluation after they’ve committed some crime. So long as they’re attached to consenting adults, have at them—nipples, that is.

Still, if you want to get somewhat technical, you’d probably be seen as a partialist, which means that you have a myopic focus on a specific body part, or at least that’s what turns you on the most, even above and beyond the actual reproductive organs. (Someone who finds penises or vaginas the most arousing parts of the body would not be considered a partialist, yet buttocks and female breasts are a matter of contention.) There are partialists for every imaginable nook and cranny of the human form: earlobes, hands, belly buttons, shins, armpits, chins, noses … nipples. And like you, most partialists are connoisseurs of that localized corporeal real estate. They know what they like and anything that strays too far from that physical ideal is a deal-breaker, as you’ve found with those etiolated raisin nipples leaving you flaccid.

As for how you got to be a bisexual big-nipple lover, TITS, one can only speculate. There’s a glut of psychoanalytic theories out there—most of it pretty ancient now—and I’m sure we can find some line or two about your infatuation stemming from your delicate ego being weaned prematurely from the swollen teats of your coldhearted momma. But unfortunately, proper scientists are no closer to understanding why one person develops a particular fetish or paraphilia while another person doesn’t. As the psychologist Michael Wiederman said recently, “If you can definitely answer that question, your working days are over.” Still, many autobiographies of people with fetishes and paraphilias (overwhelmingly men) seem to suggest that a salient event or set of events in childhood, usually between the ages of 4 and 9 and coinciding with curiosity or arousal, is the impetus, with the memory filed away and eventually becoming sexualized on reaching puberty.

Anyway, the good news is that you’re perfectly normal—as normal as a bisexual man who is partial for shapely male nipples can be, anyway. The bad news is that you’re so normal that I can’t see any way to resolve your search engine woes. (Not for lack of effort, incidentally—I’ve just had a nip at it myself and I see what you mean. It’s like hunting for truffles. There are apparently devotees of guys with third nipples, which could satisfy a law of average nipply circumference, but that’s probably not quite right.) I’m afraid you’re just going to have to manually filter your gay porn feed in search of those elusive superhero areolas. Be patient, TITS. The Hems-worthy teats are out there. If you search them, they will come. And so, alas, will you.

 

Comments (28) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
John M 1
I'm a little confused by the nipple thing and his use of the word tits.

I think the word he is looking for is pecs, he likes guys with nice pecs.
Posted by John M on August 9, 2012 at 11:21 AM
2
@1 Actually, I get the impression he's looking for men with large areolas, although he may be looking for elongated nipples, or both.
Posted by Chesty McChesterson on August 9, 2012 at 11:33 AM
3
Here ya go my nipple loving friend for starters. try searching for tit torture, nipple play, nipple torture. happy hunting
http://tittorture.blogspot.com/2010/10/p…
Posted by fuzzywuzznt on August 9, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Bub 4
Chris Evans is Captain America. Chris Hemsworth is Thor. I'm the one in the one in the middle of them.
Posted by Bub on August 9, 2012 at 11:51 AM
5
He should go on an ONLY GAY porn site and type in 'nipples' or 'areola' ... seems like a no brainer?
Posted by Sagecarroll on August 9, 2012 at 11:51 AM
6
The picture link shows a guy with nice pecs and little tits. Does TITS want that or big aureolas?

I'm confused.
Posted by SeattleKim on August 9, 2012 at 11:58 AM
7
Sorting through pictures of naked dudes is so haaaaaaaard...

I'll be the one who says it: Back in the day you couldn't just Google for your nipple porn. No, you had to hang out at beaches and locker rooms and other places where dudes took their shirts off and just wait for one with appropriately sized nipples to come along. So be grateful for the interwebs, fetishist without a problem, and do not be so silly.
Posted by sahara29 on August 9, 2012 at 12:07 PM
8
as a language researcher who does machine classification of data coming from Twitter, take it from me -- you need better search terms. And as everyone above has pointed out, the keyword you are looking for is "pecs."

I want Dan back.
Posted by TheLurker on August 9, 2012 at 12:10 PM
blip 9
I thought he was talking about what I call "pepperoni nipples," or possibly those guys who use snake bite kits and rubber bands on their nips until they're long and purple. Those are normal nipples, tiny even. I'm so confused.
Posted by blip on August 9, 2012 at 12:11 PM
classergal 10
@8 um, huge comprehension FAIL for a "language researcher." the LW is not talking about "pecs" he's talking about nipples. pecs are short for pectoralis major muscles and dude clearly says in the letter what he wants to find are men with "biggish nipples" not nec defined guys.
Posted by classergal on August 9, 2012 at 12:20 PM
11
@10: not at all. First, of course I know what pecs are; but second, if you follow the link, those are not especially large nipples, but they are well-defined pecs. Yes, the guy says he doesn't want tiny nipples, but honestly - search for "pecs" on google images, and you'll get a large proportion of pics that are EXACTLY LIKE the pic linked to in this SLOTTD.
Posted by TheLurker on August 9, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Mattini 12
Dear Savage Love, I'm attracted to shirtless A-List Hollywood actors. Isn't that weird? Do I have a fetish?? Please help me find guys who look like this - it's so hard!
Posted by Mattini on August 9, 2012 at 12:38 PM
13
(@10: not to mention that, the term "nipple" falls in with a cluster of words that are traditionally "feminine" and "pecs" with a cluster of words that are traditionally "masculine". If the guy is finding that there's a lot of feminine noise in his search results, then he should be using search terms that cut down on that noise by focusing the results on the masculine side of things.)
Posted by TheLurker on August 9, 2012 at 12:39 PM
rob! 14
TITS is definitely sending mixed messages, through his example and descriptions, as to whether he would be aroused by large areolas on a slender build, or whether prominent pectoral muscles take precedence and even totally compensate for small areolas and tiny nipples.

Since he's bi, has he considered meeting a trans person, perhaps a trans-man who has had "top" surgery without nipple reduction? If he goes in this direction, obviously he should be respectful and up-front about his needs and desires, and open to growth toward things he might not have thought he'd be interested in.

By-the-bye, I remember being fascinated by one guy in high school with half-dollar-sized areolas, but (other than appreciating when dudes have particularly sensitive nipples and paying attention to them) have been largely indifferent to nipple/areola size/shape since.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on August 9, 2012 at 12:44 PM
classergal 15
@11 err pec size doesn't have anything to do with nipple size. when you type in "pecs" and "guys" on google images you get a bunch of super muscular dudes with huge or at least defined pecs but still plenty of them still have little nips. read the letter again. here's what TITS says as the money quote: "I get turned on a lot by guys with biggish nipples. Not gigantic, not necessarily ultra muscled, definitely not man boobs, just otherwise conventionally attractive, masculine guys"
Posted by classergal on August 9, 2012 at 12:46 PM
blip 16
@15 Clearly you haven't looked at the examples the LW provided. You should really make an effort to do that before commenting again.
Posted by blip on August 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM
17
@15: Yes, I know, that's what he says, and yes, I know that nipple and pec size are uncorrelated. And the example he gives as the standard by which other men are judged is in close congruence to the results you get with the search term "pecs."

Unlike the phrase "hot guy big nipples," which gets mostly women, and few results that resemble the pic linked to in the post.

Even if he has to sift through 30 results to get one that he likes using the search term "pecs," it's still going to be a lot better than the search terms he's using currently..... and he does mention that he doesn't know if he's just using the wrong terminology.
Posted by TheLurker on August 9, 2012 at 12:55 PM
Mattini 18
@15 and the guy(s) he cites as being interested in have enormous pecs and average-to-small areolas. Hence the confusion for everyone in this comment thread.
Posted by Mattini on August 9, 2012 at 12:55 PM
classergal 19
@16 um gee thanks dad but yeah so what's your point? i looked at the links but what makes you think thats more imp than what the LW actually said in his description. the responder or editor probably just linked to some random photo on the net of the dude mentioned as example.
Posted by classergal on August 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM
blip 20
@19 You get an F for the day.
Posted by blip on August 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM
seandr 21
@1 through @18:
If the LW can't figure out what the fuck he's looking for, how does he expect a search engine to do it?

Reading this makes me grateful my porn preferences have generally agreed upon, highly discriminative search terms.
Posted by seandr on August 9, 2012 at 1:07 PM
classergal 22
@20 meh you get my F-U for the day. anyways why would he need to search for "pecs" when the responder tells him to search through a gay porn feed. how the f is that going to narrow anything down. i mean really all guys have pecs, right?
Posted by classergal on August 9, 2012 at 1:08 PM
rob! 23
The LW may or may not find this fapworthy. (I don't.) Or maybe he should consider throwing himself bodily in front of men going into this doctor's office.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on August 9, 2012 at 1:26 PM
24
Enjoying your answers, Jesse! Nicely based in science yet not too nerdy despite your PhD. Hope you're getting a lot of positive feedback not easy to fill's Dan's shoes.

Dan did a good job turning over the reigns to you while he's on vacation and I hope he brings you back whenever he takes future vacations, great choice and much better than radio silence.

However, and no offense, I hope Dan is not retiring from SLLOTD.

He's not as good on the science but OK on it, and Dan really, really nails the humor / gets the length perfect on the answers. Plus he has better biceps than you and although older than you is a fair bit hotter.

(Don't feel bad, you are hot too. Just not as hot as Dan.)
Posted by delta35 on August 9, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Karl Schuck 25
Since nipple piercing tends to swell and enlarge (permanently) the male nipple, try searches for male nipple piercing, among your choices, or male nipple jewelry. Also, try "tit torture" and/or "nipple play," both of which are named fetishes around nipples, and have lots of examples on line, on You Tube, & etc.
Posted by Karl Schuck on August 9, 2012 at 5:57 PM
seandr 26
"Male breast feeding" is the query LW is looking for.
Posted by seandr on August 9, 2012 at 8:14 PM
27
LW should search for muscled guys, figure out which guys have nipples he likes, and then search for those guys by name to get more pictures/videos.
Posted by EclecticEel on August 10, 2012 at 6:24 AM
28
Oh for...how about this: "big nipples -women -girls"
Posted by Augh on August 10, 2012 at 3:58 PM

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