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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Books A Review of Vice's Dos & Don'ts: Book 2

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Aug 9, 2012 at 8:03 AM

You remember that friend you had who was really hilarious at parties but would occasionally burst into tears or get into fights for no reason? You kind of had to do a cost-analysis with him: On the one hand, he was the funniest guy you knew. On the other hand, he would occasionally get too loud and say inappropriate things that would hurt people's feelings, and you'd feel like shit all of a sudden. Or he'd piss off someone's boyfriend and you'd have to run away from the party before you both had the shit beaten out of you.

Anyway, you know when that funniest friend you had started looking a little bit older—he had some wrinkles around his eyes, and his ironic novelty t-shirts started getting a little bit snug—and he started overcompensating by getting more and more offensive? Remember that one party where your friend kept disappearing into the bathroom and then coming out with red eyes and an increasingly worse case of the sniffles? Remember when he started making fun of that one woman's clothes and she started crying and then out of the blue, he just grabbed that woman and picked her up and threw her on the floor and started yelling terrible things at her? And remember how the whole party stopped dead and everybody just looked at your friend and you just kind of backed away from him? Remember the look on his face? That was the last time you saw that friend, wasn't it? You maybe heard some stuff about him, but you didn't really care either way; that moment sort of marked the end of an era for you.

That's just what this book is like.

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Comments (27) RSS

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Is that where the guy who writes unregistered comments comes from?

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on August 9, 2012 at 8:06 AM

That actually perfectly describes the development of my opinions about Vice!

Posted by eustaceia on August 9, 2012 at 8:24 AM

From my experience, some people make good temporary friends. A few good laughs and then something strange is said or done and you think "I'm going to end this before it's too late". I once ended a friendship right before he drove into a tree.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on August 9, 2012 at 8:26 AM

I have the first version of Vice's "DOs & DON'Ts". Hilarious stuff. I also have the DVD on Vice Travel. Haven't seen that magazine around in a while. Used to be free.

Posted by lark on August 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM

They definitely lost their touch with this latest volume. It's funny in places, but doesn't have the "snarky city-dwelling asshole" vibe that made the first book so great.

Posted by Scalpel on August 9, 2012 at 8:55 AM

Sounds like Goldy.

Posted by Just Jeff

on August 9, 2012 at 8:56 AM

i really have never met anyone like that so i'm going to buy multiple copies of this book.

Posted by Max Solomon on August 9, 2012 at 9:23 AM

I have mixed feelings towards Vice - on the one hand I can't stand the body-shaming and the sometimes overuse of 'ironic' racism, classism, sexism, etc that pervades a good portion of the magazine, and the owner has become such a massive over-exposed prick on so many levels he makes the CEO of American Apparel look like... well, actually I can't think of any unequivocal do-gooders at the moment. On the other hand, almost every issue has at least one article of such scope and interest about something that I'd never even considered before that I can't help but renew my mailed subscription of a 'free' magazine every year.

Posted by johnjjeeves on August 9, 2012 at 9:48 AM

You mah wife now, Dave.

Posted by Fistique on August 9, 2012 at 10:40 AM

The quality of the DOs and DON'Ts went into the shitter sometime after the first book came out. I haven't read them in years.

Posted by blip on August 9, 2012 at 11:20 AM

The real irony is that the entire book comprises of "don't"s, and they select the "do"s at random.

Posted by TheVripper on August 9, 2012 at 11:56 AM

Who you're describing is actually Gavin Mccines, the a-hole who split from the mag in 2007. The 2nd volume of Do's and Don'ts are his less imaginative, syncophant children, though they are still just as draining to be around.

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