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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

2012 Rick Santorum, Rand Paul to Speak at Republican National Convention

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Aug 7, 2012 at 1:15 PM

In just under three weeks, I'll be arriving in Tampa, Florida to report on the Republican National Convention. It looks like I'm in for an even better show than I anticipated:

Rick Santorum, the former presidential candidate who lobbed harsh criticism at Romney during some bitter primary contests, will join a host of other big-name Republicans as headline speakers, according to Republican sources.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush will also speak at the convention, along with Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin and Tea Party hero and Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky.

This convention looks like it'll be prime Teabaggy territory, with Rand Paul waving his dad-flag, Rick Scott explaining how Florida is a "model for the country," Mike Huckabee talking about chicken sandwiches and Jesus, John McCain doing a victory lap, and an inch-thick layer of Santorum all over everything. It should be a conflagration of crazy. But Republicans shouldn't worry about the future of their party—Jeb Bush's speech will be no doubt promoted with great faux-surprise by party elders as a bright spot in the convention, and Jeb will be all lined up for the Republican nomination in 2016, just in case Romney doesn't win this thing in November.

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Comments (17) RSS

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my sympathies.

Posted by Max Solomon on August 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM

I despise Florida, but I cannot help but mention that the best steak house I've ever eaten at is Bern's in Tampa.

http://www.bernssteakhouse.com/

If you like reading long-ass books, Paul, you'll love their wine list.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on August 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM

I'm more worried about having to live through a third Bush than I am a President Romney

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on August 7, 2012 at 1:43 PM

What if John Adams had a vision of this brain trust in 1775? Would he have settled for merely actively sabotaging the Continental Congress or would he have straight up surrendered himself and the others to the British, preferring death to whatever twisted turd this country would turn into?

Posted by johnjjeeves on August 7, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Wow. That sounds like pretty much the worst possible place that could exist for one's mental and emotional health.

I'm not actually going to wish for a freak category 5 hurricane to wipe Tampa off the map during the convention, because that would be pretty awful of me. I will, however, suggest that if any of those enormous hypocrites actually believes in the just and wrathful God they say they do, they must not have thought too hard about hosting their prideful wankfest in the state that shanked democracy and the rule of law right in the kidneys.

Posted by balderdash

on August 7, 2012 at 1:48 PM

Watch your back. Those tea baggers are nuts.

Posted by StuckInUtah on August 7, 2012 at 1:48 PM

@2: Whoa, that steakhouse has an iPhone app AND a cave du fromage.

I'm planning a trip to California and was considering stopping by this over-the-top steakhouse, just for the Liz Taylor-style decor:

http://www.madonnainn.com/steakhouse.php

Posted by Ziggity on August 7, 2012 at 1:59 PM

Rand Paul? The white supremacist? Is he going to be decrying the Sikh menace?

Posted by GermanSausage on August 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Whatever they are paying you, Constant...it isn't enough.

Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on August 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Dear God, Paul... Florida in August, thick with Republicans on the ground? I hope you're making hazard pay for this assignment..... And Tampa no less, the ashtray of the peninsular state... shudder

Take sunscreen, DDT, and several thick polymer ponchos (WITH hoods - screw fashion, this is survival)... You never know....

Posted by merry on August 7, 2012 at 3:30 PM

Good luck to you. Sounds like my own personal version of Hell.

Posted by very bad homo on August 7, 2012 at 4:26 PM

@3, you may change your mind next year. I think Jeb Bush actually has a brain.

Posted by sarah70 on August 7, 2012 at 4:59 PM

@12 All the better to fuck you over with, my dear. About the only silver lining I could see with Rmoney is that he's such a prick even Repugs in Congress might occaisionally clash with him and miss a few chances to screw us.

Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on August 7, 2012 at 7:48 PM

OH YES GOD PLEASE LET JEB BE THE 2016 GOP CANDIDATE. As badly as Romney is going to get thrashed in November, it won't begin to compare to Jeb getting his teeth kicked in by Hilary (*fingers crossed*) in 2016.

Posted by Knat on August 7, 2012 at 8:27 PM

@14,

I don't think Hilary's necessarily gonna be too terribly old by then (70 at least, I'd wager without looking it up) but I think the lessons from the latter years of Reagan are likely to prevent anyone that age from ever being elected again. Sure hope we're grooming/vetting some other up & comers in anticipation regardless.

Posted by mikethehammer on August 7, 2012 at 11:14 PM

Why would McCain be doing a victory lap? And why is Palin being shut out? We need the craziness only she can bring.

Posted by Patricia Kayden on August 8, 2012 at 3:47 AM

@12: "@3, you may change your mind next year. I think Jeb Bush actually has a brain."

As a Floridian, we are aware that being smarter than GWB doesn't make you smart.

Posted by he would've been a better president, not a good one. on August 8, 2012 at 8:09 AM