First of all, if my penis looked like this, I would call 911 immediately. But "penis snake" is what the internet has named this ugly old thing after it was unearthed by engineers who were busy defiling the Madeira River, a major tributary of the Amazon, for some hydroelectric riches. Other notable things about the thing people are calling the penis snake:
It's not even a snake! It's thought to be a caecilian, a "limbless amphibian that resembles an earthworm" and has "poor eyesight and navigate[s] primarily though smell"! Maybe that's why it doesn't appear to have any eyes but gigantic, drug-ready nostrils. It is thought to breathe through its skin! It's totally hung—specimens can reach up to 30 inches! Also, it's not a newly discovered critter! There's been a shellacked one in the Vienna Museum forever, and it's already been named a couple of different things. Lastly, if you didn't click on the first link in this story, look at the less-good picture after the cut. And DON'T CALL IT A SNAKE.