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Monday, August 6, 2012

Health / Animals Don't Call the Penis Snake a Snake, You Guys!

Posted by Grant Brissey on Mon, Aug 6, 2012 at 5:12 PM

First of all, if my penis looked like this, I would call 911 immediately. But "penis snake" is what the internet has named this ugly old thing after it was unearthed by engineers who were busy defiling the Madeira River, a major tributary of the Amazon, for some hydroelectric riches. Other notable things about the thing people are calling the penis snake:

It's not even a snake! It's thought to be a caecilian, a "limbless amphibian that resembles an earthworm" and has "poor eyesight and navigate[s] primarily though smell"! Maybe that's why it doesn't appear to have any eyes but gigantic, drug-ready nostrils. It is thought to breathe through its skin! It's totally hung—specimens can reach up to 30 inches! Also, it's not a newly discovered critter! There's been a shellacked one in the Vienna Museum forever, and it's already been named a couple of different things. Lastly, if you didn't click on the first link in this story, look at the less-good picture after the cut. And DON'T CALL IT A SNAKE.

Wikipedia Commons

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Comments (14) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Yeah, that definitely looks like a penis.

It kinda looks like a penis with a tongue for a glans, actually, which I'm sure is a thing that could work for some folks.

Posted by balderdash

on August 6, 2012 at 5:16 PM

As a proud and out lesbian woman, this is exactly why men should not exist. First, WE DO T NEED YOU! Women are happier in living committed relationships with other women, it's a fact. Lastly, men only seek to subjugate Gaia in pursuit of profits and see their own disgusting bloated gross genitals everywhere they look. I sincerely wish men would just kill themselves.

Posted by Send men to mars on August 6, 2012 at 5:32 PM

Looks like some old angry homo's dick....ask Savage if he lost his.

Posted by Joan Jett Blakk on August 6, 2012 at 5:54 PM

@2 ha ha ha ha....great troll. Now move to South Park and remember to leave your windows open at night.

Posted by I been trolled on August 6, 2012 at 6:01 PM

thank you. the "snake" moniker has been bugging me too. this is a chance to educate people all about the existence of caecilians and the headlines are blowin' it.

Posted by onion on August 6, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Mountain goats are not goats. Just saying...

Posted by ScienceNerd on August 6, 2012 at 7:48 PM

From Wikipedia. What!?

"75% of the species are viviparous, meaning that they give birth to already developed offspring. The fetus is fed inside the female with cells of the oviduct, which they eat with special scraping teeth.

The egg laying species Boulengerula taitana feeds its young by developing an outer layer of skin, high in fat and other nutrients, which the young peel off with similar teeth. This allows them to grow by up to ten times their own weight in a week. The skin is consumed every three days, the time it takes for a new layer to grow, and the young have only been observed to eat it at night."

Posted by Sandiai on August 6, 2012 at 8:57 PM

@7 nature is evil. That's all there is to it.

My penis has excellent eyesight, by the way. but no tongue.

Posted by Fnarf

on August 6, 2012 at 9:37 PM

@4 Uncalled for!

Posted by floater on August 6, 2012 at 10:10 PM

I can only surmise that many penises look that way down 'round the Amazon.

Posted by Bauhaus I on August 6, 2012 at 11:37 PM

Yay, another instance in which I would have been better off if I hadn't expanded the unregistered comments.

What a bunch of human waste you unregistered cowards are.

Posted by balderdash

on August 6, 2012 at 11:38 PM