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Thursday, July 19, 2012

2012 If Elected President, Mitt Romney Will Crack Down on Internet Porn

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Republicans like to write their own beliefs onto Mitt Romney. They all have their theories about how he's a secret teabagger, or a secret hawk, or a secret centrist. Over at Tucker Carlson's vanity project/conservative Huffington Post ripoff, The Daily Caller, there's a story that suggests someone might have finally gotten a glimpse of a real Romney plan:

Former Justice Department official Patrick Trueman, who proudly participated in federal pornography prosecutions during their “heyday” in the late 1980s and early 1990s, told The Daily Caller that Mitt Romney’s campaign assured him that Romney would “vigorously” prosecute pornographers if elected president.

Trueman, the president of Morality in Media, contacted the Romney campaign earlier this year about the “untreated pandemic” of Internet pornography. “They got back to us right away,” he said...“[Romney policy director Alex] Wong assured us that Romney is very concerned with this, and that if he’s elected these laws will be enforced,” Trueman told TheDC. ”They promised to vigorously enforce federal adult obscenity laws.”

A bunch of lawsuits against pornographers sure sounds like smaller government to me!

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Comments (22) RSS

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That should torpedo more than a few Mormon votes, given that Utahns are among the heaviest consumers of internet porn.

Posted by rob!

on July 19, 2012 at 12:43 PM

but internet porn is the lifeblood of me watching porn!!!!!!

Posted by 07wsf on July 19, 2012 at 12:43 PM

Jobs for porn store workers. Finally, some details of his economic program.

Posted by biffp on July 19, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Oh, no! Now he's crossed the line! You stay away from my porn!

Posted by floater on July 19, 2012 at 12:50 PM

GOD DAMN PORNOGRAPHS!

Posted by STJA on July 19, 2012 at 12:51 PM

Yeah, just like the Meese Commission worked out real well in suppressing porn.

Not.

Good luck with that, christian fuckbags, even if you get Romney elected.

Posted by judybrowni on July 19, 2012 at 1:05 PM

So, since most of the porn comes from places like Hungary, Romania, the Czech Republic, and Russia these days, I assume that will be four more wars? Can't wait.

Posted by Fnarf

on July 19, 2012 at 1:06 PM

Doesn't the Mormon Church offer porn at its hotels? Marriot is Mormon, right?

Posted by seatackled on July 19, 2012 at 1:22 PM

He's going to try to get rid of internet porn?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, seriously?
Um, ok, good luck with that.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on July 19, 2012 at 1:38 PM

Yeah, because government crusades against highly in demand (if sometimes unfortunate) vices are always soooo successful.

Posted by MR M on July 19, 2012 at 1:48 PM

Somone needs to make a Romney "magic underpants" porn parody! Now!

Posted by Pope Peabrain on July 19, 2012 at 2:06 PM

@7 - it's handy that they're all clustered together like that. Hey, we might not even have to recalibrate our ICBMs!

@11 - expect a new 'Who's Nailin' Palin' out soon - featuring Mitt and his wife, Sarah (who will do ANYTHING to get the VP nomination) and Bristol banging every producer in Hollywood to get a new reality show.

Posted by johnjjeeves on July 19, 2012 at 2:23 PM

This sounds like a decent enough plot for a Romney-spoofing porno.

Posted by Dougsf on July 19, 2012 at 2:39 PM

Whoops, #11 beat me to it.

Posted by Dougsf on July 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM

So basically he's going to put his Mormon religious beliefs into action in his role as Chief Executive? How could anybody possibly have a problem with that?

Posted by Proteus on July 19, 2012 at 2:44 PM

C'mon guys. He's not going to get rid of internet porn; he's just going to out source it's production to a third world country with cheaper labor rates.

Posted by ItsAllOverNow

on July 19, 2012 at 3:02 PM

FUCK THAT NOISE!

Posted by sirkowski

on July 19, 2012 at 3:16 PM

@16:

Per @7, I think he's missed the boat on that one...

Posted by COMTE

on July 19, 2012 at 3:48 PM

The problem is that he thinks too small. Internet porn is only a symptom of the real disease: masturbation. Until President Romney tackles the national plague of self-love, this country is doomed.

Posted by Gurldoggie

on July 19, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Pornography is abusive to men, so I'd be happy if he got rid of it.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on July 19, 2012 at 4:30 PM

if it's true that O is better for web porn than romney then I finally have a reason to vote in the fall. If you cross the wrong kind of feminists with the anti-junkfood nazis I can imagine how the obama people could be bad for porn as well.

Posted by bluer is better on July 19, 2012 at 9:37 PM

Excuse me while I have a good laugh. George W. Bush and John Ashcroft tried to restore the enforcement of obscenity laws - genuinely tried - and failed miserably. They failed because prosecutors didn't want to waste their time on it and juries weren't willing to convict anyone but the nastiest of the nasty. Now that pornography is even more accepted, now that "community standards" have grown even laxer, what hope could Romney possibly have to actually pull this off? He's probably just talking it up to try and get more evangelicals to turn out for him. Cynical.

Posted by I have always been... east coaster on July 21, 2012 at 9:14 PM