Two summers ago, I was walking up Pike Street when I happened to pass a white stretch Hummer filled with hooting jackanapes. The block-long Hummer was stuck in traffic so we kept pace for awhile. Every few minutes, the men would pop up from the rear sunroof to throw pizza crusts at cars and pedestrians and shout "WOOOOOOO!!!!" punctuated by the occasional "FUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Then, as the Hummer and I approached the Honey Hole, I watched as one of the "Fuck Yeah!" dudes beaned a cyclist in the face with a pizza crust. The cyclist did not flinch. Instead, he slowed down until he reached the front of the Hummer, unclipped his left foot, rose up, and brought his left heel down hard on the hood, leaving a fist-sized dent. The cyclist then clipped back in and swiftly pedaled away as the Hummer driver slammed on the breaks and the horn, and the men screams turned into, "WOOOOOOOFUCKAAAAAARGH!"

That is my favorite story involving a Hummer.

Now then! Guess which candidate vying to represent the 11th District (position 2) drives around in a spank-me-red Hummer that reportedly takes up multiple parking spots, according to one slog tipper?