Slog
News & ArtsFriday, July 6, 2012
Life / The Ladies Pissed On and Pissed Off
Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Jul 6, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Sent to I, Anonymous (in the old-school, handwritten-and-sent-through-the-mail way):
Hey women: You're always complaining about men leaving pee droplets on the toilet seat. NEWS FLASH: You "ladies" are the biggest offenders of all. FYI: I'm a female myself. I work two jobs—in a movie theater and a diner. Both at minimum wage. When I have to clean the bathrooms, guess what? THE WOMEN'S ROOM IS THE WORST! And you come out, complaining about men using the female's bathroom! You gals think that since you sit down to pee you don't splatter, but trust me—YOU DO. Especially if you've been holding it for quite some time, like to the end of a movie. The next time you bitch at the men in your lives about pee on your toilet seat, you might to check your own splatter out. AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WIPE IT THE FUCK UP. Thank you.
4
@1
A lot of women don't actually sit on it. They just sort of squat and hover. Public toilet seats are kind of gross.
A lot of women don't actually sit on it. They just sort of squat and hover. Public toilet seats are kind of gross.
5
From a cracked.com article about BAFFLING FEMALE BEHAVIOR, EXPLAINED (by a woman):
"This is understandably bewildering, since women are traditionally brought up to hate dirt and germs. And while a lot of women like to break the stereotype (CDC doctors, mud wrestlers), a lot more definitely fall into it to some degree.
The thing about this upbringing is that it's kind of intended to encourage women to clean, since in the past, that was a woman's job. If you instill fear and hatred of filth in a woman, the thought went, she would get upset about dirty counters long before her man would, and automatically clean it up before he had to give the order.
As we all know, fear triggers a "fight or flight" response, equipping you to either fight the danger, or flee it. If a classically-raised woman runs into a nasty poo-encrusted toilet, she suddenly gets the visceral urge to either clean it or run away. If it's in her own house, she's got no choice but to clean it, at least eventually (or ask someone else to). If it's in McDonald's, she will pee hovering over the seat with her breath held, fling her toilet tissue in the general direction of the toilet and run like the wind.
So if you're wondering why someone wouldn't flush a toilet that obviously needed a second flush, the answer is that she was probably a block away by the time that became evident."
I am not an expert on bathrooms, women, or cleaning, so Idon't know how accurate it is. But, there you go.
"This is understandably bewildering, since women are traditionally brought up to hate dirt and germs. And while a lot of women like to break the stereotype (CDC doctors, mud wrestlers), a lot more definitely fall into it to some degree.
The thing about this upbringing is that it's kind of intended to encourage women to clean, since in the past, that was a woman's job. If you instill fear and hatred of filth in a woman, the thought went, she would get upset about dirty counters long before her man would, and automatically clean it up before he had to give the order.
As we all know, fear triggers a "fight or flight" response, equipping you to either fight the danger, or flee it. If a classically-raised woman runs into a nasty poo-encrusted toilet, she suddenly gets the visceral urge to either clean it or run away. If it's in her own house, she's got no choice but to clean it, at least eventually (or ask someone else to). If it's in McDonald's, she will pee hovering over the seat with her breath held, fling her toilet tissue in the general direction of the toilet and run like the wind.
So if you're wondering why someone wouldn't flush a toilet that obviously needed a second flush, the answer is that she was probably a block away by the time that became evident."
I am not an expert on bathrooms, women, or cleaning, so Idon't know how accurate it is. But, there you go.
6
When I worked in a bookstore/cafe that shared bathrooms with a disco, back in the 80s, and had to clean the bathrooms, the women's was the WORST. Piss everywhere, broken glassware in the toilets, BIG CLUMPS OF SHIT ON THE WALL. Yes, really.
The saddest was the stall that I would periodically find littered with candy bar wrappers, a dozen or more at a time.
The saddest was the stall that I would periodically find littered with candy bar wrappers, a dozen or more at a time.
7
@5: You're linking to Cracked at 11:30 AM? I had shit to do today! God damn you!
Also, hey, let's talk about how roughly 50% of people wipe their asses sitting down and roughly 50% of people wipe their asses standing up, but only about 10% of people realize anyone does it the other way. That's a fun phenomenon.
Also, hey, let's talk about how roughly 50% of people wipe their asses sitting down and roughly 50% of people wipe their asses standing up, but only about 10% of people realize anyone does it the other way. That's a fun phenomenon.
9
@4: Public toilet seats (barring a waste product just sitting on it) are cleaner than your hands, your telephone, your sink, your computer keyboard, your sponge, your hand towels, your kitchen table, etc. ad nauseam
Germs do not grow well on non-porous, dry, and well-lit surfaces. There are also hardly any germs on the fatty parts of your ass that touch the seat. Those little handrails that women cling to while hovering and splattering piss all over are dirtier than the toilet seat, I guarantee it.
And they do splatter piss everywhere...I used to have to clean public restrooms long ago, and the women's rooms were always much filthier.
Germs do not grow well on non-porous, dry, and well-lit surfaces. There are also hardly any germs on the fatty parts of your ass that touch the seat. Those little handrails that women cling to while hovering and splattering piss all over are dirtier than the toilet seat, I guarantee it.
And they do splatter piss everywhere...I used to have to clean public restrooms long ago, and the women's rooms were always much filthier.
10
@4 Public toilet seats are kinda gross precisely because of women who don't sit down properly to pee, but instead squat and hover, and spray all over the seat.
Sometimes the moisture droplets on a toilet seat is splash from the flushing but, for the most part, women's washrooms are disgusting because of the germ-phobic women who make them disgusting.
Sometimes the moisture droplets on a toilet seat is splash from the flushing but, for the most part, women's washrooms are disgusting because of the germ-phobic women who make them disgusting.
11
@2 It's produced sterile, but if the person has a UTI or kidney infection, it isn't sterile. Also, while on its way down, urine can become contaminated by bacteria present in the lower urethra and external genitalia.
12
My favorite is when a woman uses one of those paper protectors on the toilet seat and then refuses to flush it because that would require interacting with the toilet in some way. So, of course, it falls to me to take care of it because I'm not some germ-phobic ninny.
@10,
And the funny thing is that (most) public toilet seats are cleaner than most things people interact with every day, or would be if germ-phobes weren't pissing all over them. They're certainly cleaner than your average keyboard.
@10,
And the funny thing is that (most) public toilet seats are cleaner than most things people interact with every day, or would be if germ-phobes weren't pissing all over them. They're certainly cleaner than your average keyboard.
14
I also had plenty of jobs where I had to clean the women's room. I was never concerned about the urine or the unflushed toilets. But I think there is something seriously wrong with many women when it comes to excretions of any sort. I have never met anyone who cleaned women's bathrooms who didn't find shit smeared on the wall regularly, or who didn't find used tampons stuck to something -Different times (40's 60's 90's), different places (europe, ND, seattle), different settings (colleges, fast food restaurants, coffee shops, book stores). I have never had to clean shit off a men's room wall. What the hell is wrong with you, ladies?
15
@9, you're probably right, but I didn't say anything about cleanliness. I'll handle food I"m going to eat after wiping my hands dry with a hand towel. I won't touch a toilet seat--public or private, disinfected or not--and then not wash my hands before I pick up my sandwich.
@10, I guess the same principle applies as what I just typed above. Even if women (or men) kept their public toilets clean, they're still gross just because they're toilets, and I'm not going to set my dinner plate on them.
Some of what we feel is just based on social attitudes that might defy reason. Most of us won't hesitate to share saliva through a kiss with someone we're attracted to; I"m not even necessarily opposed to drinking from the same cup as someone I'm not attracted to. But if someone slobbers on a spoon and wants us to put the spoon in our mouth, most of us are not going to do it, even if it's the person we want to kiss.
So toilet seats, clean or dirty, are kind of gross.
@10, I guess the same principle applies as what I just typed above. Even if women (or men) kept their public toilets clean, they're still gross just because they're toilets, and I'm not going to set my dinner plate on them.
Some of what we feel is just based on social attitudes that might defy reason. Most of us won't hesitate to share saliva through a kiss with someone we're attracted to; I"m not even necessarily opposed to drinking from the same cup as someone I'm not attracted to. But if someone slobbers on a spoon and wants us to put the spoon in our mouth, most of us are not going to do it, even if it's the person we want to kiss.
So toilet seats, clean or dirty, are kind of gross.
16
@7
In my defense, the actual link was automatically generated, so you can blame the tech-savvy at-risk youth who run SLOG for that part.
Also, I'm not sure anybody would wipe their ass standing up. That sounds ridiculous and inefficient. Why, the very idea!
In my defense, the actual link was automatically generated, so you can blame the tech-savvy at-risk youth who run SLOG for that part.
Also, I'm not sure anybody would wipe their ass standing up. That sounds ridiculous and inefficient. Why, the very idea!
17
@15:
No "probably" about it.
Hey, as long as you are willing to admit that it is completely irrational and devoid of reason, you can live however you want.
Also important to keep in mind is that if you were to be handed magic glasses that allow you to see bacteria/viruses, you would essentially be seeing a carpet of them covering and writhing along every single surface in sight, your skin and food included. Happy eating!
No "probably" about it.
Hey, as long as you are willing to admit that it is completely irrational and devoid of reason, you can live however you want.
Also important to keep in mind is that if you were to be handed magic glasses that allow you to see bacteria/viruses, you would essentially be seeing a carpet of them covering and writhing along every single surface in sight, your skin and food included. Happy eating!
18
duh: the seat is not the only part of the toilet. it is a great invention because it hides the rim. the rim is where the real filth piles up and it ain't just sterile yellow droplets. as a janitor i can attest to the relative dirtiness of the women's "sit down" toilets. but men's urinals are dirtier than they seem, especially if you take into account the walls behind and to the sides of the urinal, and the floor underneath. if i were to judge based solely on lingering piss odor, the men's is always worse.
19
I agree with Anonymous. My wife just gave birth and she always makes a horrible mess of our bathroom. Its disgusting and very un-lady like!
21
i agree with those who note that the splatter is caused by women who refuse to sit.
SIT women, sit. or do as @20 commands.
SIT women, sit. or do as @20 commands.
22
@17
Yes, irrationality is why I'll eat a piece of cake that someone gives me if it's on a napkin, but not if it's in a disinfected kid's potty. Bon appetit!
Yes, irrationality is why I'll eat a piece of cake that someone gives me if it's on a napkin, but not if it's in a disinfected kid's potty. Bon appetit!
23
Day = made.
I KNEW IT.
Although the comment about urinals@18 is probably right. It's funny when you see a mens bathroom with the metal dividers between the urinals, covered in rust in a distinct pattern... wait that's from the pee.
I KNEW IT.
Although the comment about urinals@18 is probably right. It's funny when you see a mens bathroom with the metal dividers between the urinals, covered in rust in a distinct pattern... wait that's from the pee.
25
I also worked at several janitor/custodian jobs in my youth and the women's bathrooms were always pretty vile.
As others noted, there was occasionally shit smeared on walls, but the worst was vomit. At least once a week, the women's restrooms had pools of vomit in them.
As others noted, there was occasionally shit smeared on walls, but the worst was vomit. At least once a week, the women's restrooms had pools of vomit in them.
26
Oh, this reminds me of the Jonathan Swift poem, "The Lady's Dressing Room. It is a long poem, so here is an excerpt:
"Send up an excremental smell
To taint the parts from whence they fell.
The petticoats and gown perfume,
Which waft a stink round every room.
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
But Vengeance, goddess never sleeping
Soon punished Strephon for his peeping;
His foul imagination links
Each Dame he sees with all her stinks:"
"Send up an excremental smell
To taint the parts from whence they fell.
The petticoats and gown perfume,
Which waft a stink round every room.
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
But Vengeance, goddess never sleeping
Soon punished Strephon for his peeping;
His foul imagination links
Each Dame he sees with all her stinks:"
27
I've never understood why people are so obsessed with pointing out which bathroom is dirtier. Are people really that ignorant of what comes out of women's bodies and what women put on their bodies?
28
@5:
I remember seeing apartments seemingly reasonable women shared that looked as bad as or worse than some of some male slobs'; my hypothesis was that a woman brought up being told that it's a woman's duty to clean could be strongly tempted both to resist doing it while simultaneously expecting that the other woman would....
I remember seeing apartments seemingly reasonable women shared that looked as bad as or worse than some of some male slobs'; my hypothesis was that a woman brought up being told that it's a woman's duty to clean could be strongly tempted both to resist doing it while simultaneously expecting that the other woman would....
29
As someone whose job duties at one point included checking vacant hotel rooms which had not yet been cleaned, I was able to collect a huge dataset showing that one in five hotel guests checks out leaving an unflushed toilet.
30
Sweet Jaysus. no wonder most of the zombietards who read this rag and have moved here ove the past 20 years think Paul Krugman, Simon Johnson and Niall Ferguson are "liberals" --- bloody rightwinger halfwits and talking twats!!!!!
32
I've also cleaned bathrooms as part of my job and, yes, women's restrooms are worse than the men's, consistently and predictably. And yes, I've cleaned off-target crap in women's restrooms, as well as emptying out the tampon bins. Their restrooms also smell differently. They have more of the chemical, sickeningly sweet air-sanitizer smell. It really knocked the idealized image I had of women out of my head. Thankfully I was able to separate this exposure from the more pleasant interactions I had with the ladies of my life.
33
In the apartment bathroom shared by college friends of mine (female) back in 19mumblemumble:
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be neat and wipe the seat."
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be neat and wipe the seat."
34
OMG this is such a pet pee(ve) of mine!!!
How many times have I walked into a bar or restaurant bathroom only to be confronted with a toilet seat that is COVERED in female urine?!? GodDAMN it, women! Your precious, precious butt is so sooooo special that you just can't BEAR to put it down on the icky seat, so you squat'n'pee, and SPRAY YOUR URINE ALL OVER THE SEAT FOR THE NEXT PERSON!!!!!!!!! What the fucking fuck??
"Oooo, I'm such a pwincess that my delicate behind can't come in contact with a tewwible toilet seat, SO I WILL BEFOUL IT FOR THE NEXT PEWSON!! HA HA I AM SO SMAHT!!!"
s;lkseoskgnlkas;iodnasdv'ld,qweioprnkl
How many times have I walked into a bar or restaurant bathroom only to be confronted with a toilet seat that is COVERED in female urine?!? GodDAMN it, women! Your precious, precious butt is so sooooo special that you just can't BEAR to put it down on the icky seat, so you squat'n'pee, and SPRAY YOUR URINE ALL OVER THE SEAT FOR THE NEXT PERSON!!!!!!!!! What the fucking fuck??
"Oooo, I'm such a pwincess that my delicate behind can't come in contact with a tewwible toilet seat, SO I WILL BEFOUL IT FOR THE NEXT PEWSON!! HA HA I AM SO SMAHT!!!"
s;lkseoskgnlkas;iodnasdv'ld,qweioprnkl
35
@20 - Perfect. Love it. Though I'm not sure that women who hover would touch the toilet seat to lift it up even using their feet.
36
@34 to be fair, you can only really blame the first woman to spray on the seat since its last cleaning. Every one after her are engaging in perfectly logical behavior.
37
It's really, really easy. Turn your back to the toilet, place the sole of your shoe against the bottom edge of the seat, and lift. Then squat. Sprinkles go on the rim, not the seat.
Not that I understand how sprinkles happen anyway. Do some squats/kegels, god damn it.
Not that I understand how sprinkles happen anyway. Do some squats/kegels, god damn it.
38
I worked for a cleaning maintenance company and the women's rest rooms were _always_ a messier dirtier place than the men's.
39
The women who splatter on the seat aren't doing it while sitting. They're hovering their precious asses over the toilet instead of using their brains and grabbing a seat cover.
And that's not even getting started on what they do with used sanitary pads and tampons.
And that's not even getting started on what they do with used sanitary pads and tampons.
40
Explore the mysteries of feminine bathroom rituals, techniques and experiences (700 testimonials strong):
http://thehairpin.com/2012/06/ask-an-ind…
http://thehairpin.com/2012/06/ask-an-ind…
42
Jesus, why do we even have toilets on this continent? Let's do as the Chinese do and just install porcelain holes (with handy foot-treads for grip!). Then we ALL have to squat-hover, or, squover.
@40: The women who can't stand their PERSON THEY JUST HAD SEX WITH hearing them pee kind of frighten me. How does that make any sense at all?
@40: The women who can't stand their PERSON THEY JUST HAD SEX WITH hearing them pee kind of frighten me. How does that make any sense at all?
43
@42 folks that waste water just so others don't hear them do something we all do makes me grrrrr.
WTF? Really?
You are that precious of a snowflake that you can waste resources your privileged ass has access to simply due to the geographical accident of your birth? Piss off (pun necessary)
WTF? Really?
You are that precious of a snowflake that you can waste resources your privileged ass has access to simply due to the geographical accident of your birth? Piss off (pun necessary)
44
I would rather that at my house men pee standing up, anatomically thay are not compatable with the toilet seat. I give the toilet in the master bath a wipe down daily (seems OCD, I know, but the smell of urine quite literally makes me sick) whether I've used it or not. Urine on the underside of the ring is not always the fault of the woman.
My daughters share the other bathroom. We've had a chat about removing tampons at an angle that results in a smear on the front of the ring. Sometimes the culprit of the oook is not cognizant of the infraction.
I prefer to use the men's room at work, since the women in the office seem to be disgusting pigs. Between the mad noontime shitter (who shits at noontime, and never manages to flush), the woman who has periodic episodes of explosive diarrhea ( and the cleaning crew who failed to get all of the spatter off of the wall, still there 3 months later) and the women who put their feminine products in the metal bin intended to hold the paper bags that are then intended to be PUT IN THE TRASH CAN (really, this is not rocket science, ladies) I far prefer to brave the zone of urinals.
My daughters share the other bathroom. We've had a chat about removing tampons at an angle that results in a smear on the front of the ring. Sometimes the culprit of the oook is not cognizant of the infraction.
I prefer to use the men's room at work, since the women in the office seem to be disgusting pigs. Between the mad noontime shitter (who shits at noontime, and never manages to flush), the woman who has periodic episodes of explosive diarrhea ( and the cleaning crew who failed to get all of the spatter off of the wall, still there 3 months later) and the women who put their feminine products in the metal bin intended to hold the paper bags that are then intended to be PUT IN THE TRASH CAN (really, this is not rocket science, ladies) I far prefer to brave the zone of urinals.
45
But, but...sugar! and spice! and everything nice!
And I really don't think I've seen any prevalent trend of shit on walls in the women's restroom...maybe it's an American thing?
But yes please, sit on the fucking toilet.
And I really don't think I've seen any prevalent trend of shit on walls in the women's restroom...maybe it's an American thing?
But yes please, sit on the fucking toilet.
46
@7- I'd never heard of a standing wiper until it came up on Reddit some time back. I'm still pretty sure it's just some /b prank on the world. Nobody does that.
47
For crying out loud. THE TOILET EJECTS SOME WATER WHEN IT FLUSHES. Those aren't pee droplets, ladies, those are from the toilet water. Watch when the toilet flushes next time, and you'll see that the lady entering the stall after you thinks that YOU peed on the seat.
48
A few observations:
Guys generally don't care if the occasional woman uses their restroom (as long as the woman is discrete).
I don't understand how, when we both have to pee, my wife can enter a restroom at the same time as me and come out sooner.
WTF is up with women who throw used tampons into toilets? That shit REALLY clogs them up (and you know it's not a woman who is going to be fixing the mess). Just wrap them up and toss them away.
Don't eat anything in a public setting without disinfecting your hands. I would estimate that >50% of men don't wash their hands, and that a lot of them don't wash after taking a shit. Now that's fucking gross.
Guys generally don't care if the occasional woman uses their restroom (as long as the woman is discrete).
I don't understand how, when we both have to pee, my wife can enter a restroom at the same time as me and come out sooner.
WTF is up with women who throw used tampons into toilets? That shit REALLY clogs them up (and you know it's not a woman who is going to be fixing the mess). Just wrap them up and toss them away.
Don't eat anything in a public setting without disinfecting your hands. I would estimate that >50% of men don't wash their hands, and that a lot of them don't wash after taking a shit. Now that's fucking gross.
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