Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, June 26, 2012
Chow / LGBTQITSLFA "Anyone who eats Oreos is now openly a heretic...Eating Oreos is now a Sin"
Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Jun 26, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Lots of assholes, turns out. Buzzfeed has created a compilation post of Facebook bigots who are now calling for boycotts of Oreo for their support of pride. It's an incredibly depressing post which you should only visit if you are currently secure in your happiness. If you like to laugh at ignorant jackasses, though, it's a treasure trove. And it's getting easier to laugh at schmucks like this, now that history is leaning toward acceptance of gay marriage. These assholes are looking more and more like objects in the rear view mirror; their hate seems bigger than it really is, but it'll be a memory soon enough. I'm sure if there was a Facebook in the 1950s, bigots would be on Oreo's page lamenting the fact that their cookies promote godless interracial love.*
Can you imagine if these bigots actually boycotted every business that supported gay rights? Some of the companies that have inspired cries of boycott in the past for their support of gay rights include Starbucks, Google, Levi's, Microsoft, Nike, and now Nabisco. It's kind of hard to picture a United States of America without those companies, isn't it?
* Dominic Holden came up with the idea for this joke and I blatantly stole it from him without permission.
2
I appreciate the support to my rights, but it's pretty bad Photoshop. Would it be that hard to make it look a little less like one cream was duplicated and the wrong filter put on. Super picky I know, but irksome none the less.
5
Hooray Oreo! And yet the mention of its name makes me lament all over again our loss of the original, the far superior, the mighty Hydrox cookie.
7
I'm with #2. I'm all for equality and acceptance of the whole spectrum of sexual identities, but I am decidedly pro-traditional quality photoshopping.
8
@4,6 I earned your snark. I know this. I couldn't help myself.
I wish I that neat. Like a lot of designers, I'm precise in the micro and chaos in the macro.
I wish I that neat. Like a lot of designers, I'm precise in the micro and chaos in the macro.
9
Sort of related (but not really): one of my favorite porn titles of all time is "Whoreos" (it's an entire flick of white chicks getting banged by 2 black guys). Anyway, it's awesome to see corporations realizing that it makes good social AND financial sense to be on the right side of history.
10
Oh great, wooowoooo, Nabisco loves gay people. It makes me sad that some people actually feel proud when a corp makes some meaningless gesture like this. It may be evidence of more people in general being less homophobic, but I don't take much comfort from the "support" of the same companies that are fucking up the world. They feed on inequality. Their version of equal rights is when anyone (even a flaming queer) can be an executive, own sweatshops, buy off politicians, etc...
12
Gah, I clicked on that buzzfeed link expecting some cheap laughs, but now I'm just depressed and a little frightened.
15
If you wanted to make your own gay Oreos you could use this recipe from Smitten Kitchen. It's delicious. The filling tastes like an Oreo but the cookie part is a million times better.
16
All those bigots probably made their remarks using computers running operating systems by Apple or Microsoft, both gay-friendly companies. I can't wait for them to boycott their machines and stop posting!
17
A real gay Oreo would have whipped cream icing on a chocolate graham cracker crumb formed cookie. No food coloring, but perhaps a garnish of rainbow colored flower petals.
18
To the asshole on that Facebook thread who said gays need to leave America....can you send me to Sweden? I mean if that asswipe is willing to pay for my move and all the expenses related to get me settled in Sweden then I will totally leave America.
19
@5 Here I thought mine was the only family that played the Sunshine-Hydrox game!
Rainbow Oreos look like fun, but since I tried the Chocolate Oreo I haven't gone back to the original.
Rainbow Oreos look like fun, but since I tried the Chocolate Oreo I haven't gone back to the original.
21
I hate Oreos but now will buy a box and give them to someone who'll eat them. Does that make me a heretic? Or someone who leads other people into sin?
22
@19, the chocolate Oreo is an improvement, but I still make like the Hydrox bear whenever I have one.
23
Actually a country without Starbucks, Google, Levi's, Microsoft, Nike and Nabisco could be a pretty awesome place....
24
I can't take any of the comments on the Buzzfeed link seriously because they were all clearly written by people with a 3rd grade (at best) education.
I will, however, run right out and grab a pack of oreos but I'm going to twist them all apart and will need someone to come eat the halves with the filling for me.
I will, however, run right out and grab a pack of oreos but I'm going to twist them all apart and will need someone to come eat the halves with the filling for me.
25
What the hell are these bigots going to eat? They don't have any alternatives, except going local, which is kind of a liberal thing, so they won't want to be associated with that.
26
It's really easy to picture an America without those companies. What is impossible to picture is an America without homosexuals. Many of our nation's greatest patriots were gay. That's a cookie none of us can boycott.
27
Oh great irony that the bigots are discussing all this on Facebook:
http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/25/tech-ga…
http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/25/tech-ga…
28
I think they should rethink their use of Facebook as well:
http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/25/tech-ga…
The bitter, bitter irony...
http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/25/tech-ga…
The bitter, bitter irony...
29
Oops, sorry for the double posting. Guess the first one got hung up during the registration period.
30
Haha! Good joke! Oreo has been out for interracial marriage since day one. (My applause is directed at you, Dominic).
31
Paul, you write, "These assholes are looking more and more like objects in the rear view mirror; their hate seems bigger than it really is, but it'll be a memory soon enough." No, it won't. What you mean is "It can't become just a memory soon enough."
32
Paul, you write, "These assholes are looking more and more like objects in the rear view mirror; their hate seems bigger than it really is, but it'll be a memory soon enough." No, it won't. What you mean is "It *can't become* just a memory soon enough."
33
That Oreo joke about interracial marriage was already a meme yesterday - I first saw it on George Takei's FB page.
34
Crap. Now I have to blow my organics-only, local-foods-preferred diet to show support to a company owned by the Kraft Monolith.
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