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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

News Morning News: Faceless Burglars, Floating Houses, and the Monster Clap

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Wed, Jun 20, 2012 at 8:04 AM

A Picturesque Stroll Up Shit Creek: A clogged sewage pipe backed up in the Pike Place Market yesterday, sending raw sewage cascading down the street.

Great News for Cat Hoarders: Just like the rest of the animal kingdom, studies suggest that microorganisms can influence our moods. Par example, one study showed that a protozoan in cat piss made women more “outgoing, trusting, image-conscious, and rule-abiding than uninfected women.”

Two Spokane Sheriff's Deputies Shot: The deputies were wounded yesterday during a routine traffic stop, sparking a "chaotic crime spree" and massive manhunt for the shooter, who turned the gun on himself when discovered by police.

Meanwhile, in Tacoma: A homeowner shot a suspected burglar in the face yesterday.

"It doesn't look like a house anymore": Three kayakers exploring the Olympic Peninsula coast stumble upon what appeared to be the remnants of Japanese house, filled with cherry-flavored cough syrup and kerosene.

Got Your Nose: A hiker has discovered human bones in an area recently drained after the removal of the Elwa dam.

Gird Your Loins: Johnny Depp is single again after 14 years.

Egypt in Turmoil: Conflicting reports have former Egyptian President Mubarak either miraculously improving or still clinically dead, depending on whether you're more inclined to trust Twitter or BBC News. Meanwhile, tensions continue over last week's disputed presidential election.

Florida Teen Survives Spear Through Brain: Hospital officials described him as awake but "agitated" upon his arrival.

Beware the Monster Clap: Health officials warn that a monster strain of gonorrhea is poised to become a major public health threat, as the ~~virus~~ bacterial infection is "a very clever bug that has developed the ability to resist nearly all of the antibiotics that have been thrown in its path."

And finally, Ask a Mortician explains when and how caskets explode. (Bonus episode: corpse poo!)

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My favorite story this morning is that former hero to Slog Julian Assange has decided to avoid facing those darned accusing women in Sweden by seeking asylum at the Ecuadorean embassy in London.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/jun…

Posted by gloomy gus on June 20, 2012 at 8:24 AM

I love it when you do the news, Cienna.

Posted by Allyn on June 20, 2012 at 8:30 AM

Damnit Cienna, gonorrhea is a bacteria not a virus. That is why we can use antibiotics to treat it.

Posted by Important distinction on June 20, 2012 at 8:33 AM

Why do people say "Raw" sewage? Is there any other kind of sewage?

Also, on the overuse-of-antibiotics front, it's at the point where it's hard to find soap that doesn't have antibiotics in it.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 20, 2012 at 8:35 AM

Good one, Urgutha. No, there isn't. My personal favorite is "high-powered rifle." Um, they all are — unless you're using a flintlock or something, and even they can do a lot of damage.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on June 20, 2012 at 8:42 AM

The spear through the kids head was news from a week ago.... Good job reporting last week's news.

Posted by slowslogday on June 20, 2012 at 8:43 AM

If women more outgoing, trusting, image-conscious, and rule-abiding, aren't they on the way to Stepford? Why is this great news for cat hoarders? Other than misogynistic male cat hoarders, that is, who can use infected cat piss like mild roofies?

Posted by seatackled on June 20, 2012 at 8:45 AM

Good one, 5280. Yes, there is another kind of sewage: treated sewage.

Posted by talkinoutmyarse on June 20, 2012 at 8:46 AM

Would it be an asshole move to point out that gonorrhea isn't a virus? Yeah, guess so. Nevermind...

Posted by stinky on June 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM

@4

Maybe try the artisan soaps?

@5

I agree that "high-power" is an unnecessary modifier, but there are air rifles and bb rifles (which you could probably tell me are the same or different than air rifles).

Posted by seatackled on June 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM

@5: C'mon gun nut, do you really not know what the "high-powered" designation means in the world of competitive shooting?

High-powered rifle means either a service rifle of the M1, M14, AR-15(M16) models, or a match rifle typically of Winchester or Remington make, model 70 or model 40X. This also includes the old 1903 Springfields (including the A3), 1917 Enfields, or pre-war Winchester 70s, all 30.06.

This designation sets it apart from small-bore, or "light" rifles, .22, .223, etc.

Posted by Theodore Gorath on June 20, 2012 at 9:02 AM

Doesn't live up to its name:

http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog/wp-…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on June 20, 2012 at 9:04 AM

Yes, @11, I'm aware of that distinction. But most of the media isn't. And I don't think it makes much of a difference anyway when it comes to killing people. They're all pretty good at it.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on June 20, 2012 at 9:08 AM

Bet that bone belongs to Ronny Cox.

Posted by DOUG.

on June 20, 2012 at 9:14 AM

Clap is from the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae, not a virus.

Posted by Sachi

on June 20, 2012 at 9:25 AM

In other news, the hitchhiking writer who was shot in Montana admitted that he shot himself, apparently in a desperate bid for publicity.

Posted by Joe Glibmoron on June 20, 2012 at 9:36 AM

Also, dangling modifier alert (cat hoarder item).

Posted by ThePedant on June 20, 2012 at 9:40 AM

Gonorrhea isn't a virus, is is a bacterial infection.

Posted by ohthetrees on June 20, 2012 at 9:41 AM

@4 There is treated sewage, but you're unlikely to find that anywhere other than a sewage treatment plant. Fun places to visit, if you've got the stomach for it.

Posted by Sir Vic on June 20, 2012 at 9:43 AM

@13: So you're aware of the distinction that you before seemed to be pretty unaware of, then say it makes no difference? I've got a choice for you: get shot by a .22 or a 30.06. Which one will you take. Here's a hint: your chances of survival with one are far greater than with the other.

Posted by MR M on June 20, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Regarding microorganisms controlling our moods: I've believed for a long time that humans are essentially being farmed by microorganisms. Consciousness and intelligence are illusions, and actually to be found in vast colonies of brainless organisms -- think ant colonies, only more so.

Posted by Fnarf

on June 20, 2012 at 10:05 AM

@9, et al, thanks and fixed.

@16, I wrote about him in this week's Last Days.

Posted by Cienna Madrid on June 20, 2012 at 10:08 AM

@4,

If you seek out scent-free/dye-free soap, that'll usually be antiseptic-free as well. At a normal supermarket, you can usually find Ivory's plain hand soap and Dawn's scent-free/dye-free/non-antibacterial dish soap. If you're willing to pay a little more, I believe Method is usually free of antiseptics.

Posted by keshmeshi on June 20, 2012 at 10:36 AM

@20, that depends a lot on whether the shooter has any clue what he's doing. More people are killed with .22s every year than .30-06s.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on June 20, 2012 at 10:56 AM

RFK was killed with a .22

Posted by myr on June 20, 2012 at 11:16 AM

Thanks for the soap advice!

Also, @20, the caliber isn't the only thing that matters. An M-16 is .223 caliber, for example. Tiny bullet, but it's still a high powered round.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 20, 2012 at 11:18 AM

@20, 24, 26:

People scoff at the humble .22, but it should be noted that a .22 round often has the energy to enter the body, but not leave it. So it pinballs around the body, shredding as it goes. It takes a "grand tour" of your insides. It is a hitman's weapon for this reason: when pressed against the head, it typically enters your skull, but does not leave, shredding your brain as it bounces around.

A 30.06 wil leave a bigger hole, but it will also often go right through you, possibly leaving less damage, but the hydrostatic shock of the round is higher, which can lead to the rupturing of organs. The fact that this round kills less people than other calibers is more about the fact that handguns do not fire them, rather than their intrinsic deadliness.

Like any object, force is determined by mass and speed, which is why a small .223 round can be so deadly. It travels much faster, so it makes up for its low mass with speed. Also with more speed, comes a greater hydrostatic shock effect, as mentioend above.

Next week on gun chat, we will discuss the various materials bullets are manufactured in, and how that effects their efficacy, as well as a short discussion of the relative merits of hollow point, wadcutter, and semi-wadcutter rounds.

Posted by Theodore Gorath on June 20, 2012 at 12:56 PM

@23, 26: Ivory hand soap (clear bottle, clear liquid) doesn't have triclocarban antibacterial, but it does have an intense floral scent, and I find the high concentration of sodium dodecyl sulfate (sodium lauryl sulfate on the label) really dries my skin out here in sagebrush-land. We're all kind of brainwashed by the old "Ivory—99-44/100% pure!" ad copy and hypnotized by the clear colorless liquid into thinking it's gentle and scent-free. It's not.

Softsoap Aloe Vera and Milk-and-Honey varieties (and their Target/Wal*Mart generic equivalents) appear to be triclocarban-free and not super-drying, if you want a liquid soap.

Posted by rob!

on June 20, 2012 at 1:43 PM

Gun and soap nerdery here today. What a spectrum.

Posted by rob!

on June 20, 2012 at 1:48 PM

@29,
Well, when you kill a lot of stuff with your guns, you need a good soap to wash all the blood off, right?

Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 20, 2012 at 2:00 PM

@28,

Huh, I haven't noticed any particular scent with the Ivory soap I use, and I'm really sensitive to that. Meanwhile I haven't been able to find a version of Softsoap that didn't make me want to chop off my own hands to make that stench go away.

Either way, Urgutha does have a decent variety to choose from, although not as much as he should, given that antibacterial soap is the devil's handiwork.

Posted by keshmeshi on June 20, 2012 at 2:02 PM