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News & ArtsFriday, June 15, 2012
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Gold Star Comment of the Day Goes to....
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Fri, Jun 15, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Mr. Christopher Allen Horton, who writes in response to this week's Homosexual Agenda:
I AM A CLASSICAL MUSICIAN AND NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SEATTLE MUSIC SCENE. [I think Pearl Jam and Nirvana were based in Seattle]. THE PRICES FOR Dan "Captain Gay" Savage's SHOW CAUGHT MY EYE. WOW! ONE-HUNDRED DOLLARS? IN MEMPHIS, TICKETS FOR "TOP-NOTCH" ARTISTS ARE ABOUT SIXTY DOLLARS. I ASSUME THIS IS A MUSICAL ACT. HOMOSEXUALS IN WASHINGTON STATE MUST R-E-A-L-L-Y WANT "gay" MARRIAGE. I OPPOSE "gay" MARRIAGE. IT IS INTERESTING THIS EVENT IS FOR ALL AGES. I DID NOT KNOW MINORS HAD A POLITICAL INTEREST IN "gay" MARRIAGE. ON A LIGHTER NOTE, THIS IS A HANDSOME PHOTOGRAPH OF Mr. Savage. IF IT WAS A DIFFERENT CAUSE, I WOULD PAY TO SEE HIS ACT.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Goldy says the handsome comment is a dead giveaway that this is a joke. I think it's real (CALL IT A GUT FEELING). Dominic is undecided. What do you think?
10
By giving attention to such persons, you are disincentivizing me from constructing auric comments.
11
@3: Also, his bio: http://www.thestranger.com/gyrobase/Prof…
@10: This comment is a work of satiric brilliance.
@10: This comment is a work of satiric brilliance.
12
He's got a pretty large Google footprint of racist and anti-gay trolling, preferably both in the same comment.
13
Rapidly anti-gay--no, wait, I mean RABIDLY ANTI-gay-- and yet he says "FUCKIN' TURD-GRIME IS ON MY BEDSHEETS". He sounds like quite the heterosexualist catch, ladies.
Oh. No, he's gay himself. "AS A NEGRO-MALE HOMOSEXUAL, IT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE CAUCASIAN-MALE HOMOSEXUALS ARE RACISTS" and "AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN HAVING SEX WITH CAUCASIAN MALES FOR SEVERAL YEARS, I KNOW HOW TO SEPARATE THEIR "KKK-TENDENCIES" FROM THEIR SEX APPEAL. AS LONG AS, I AM NOT CALLED A "nigger" IN GENERAL, IT IS FINE FOR A CAUCASIAN MALE TO CALL ME "nigger" IN BED. "
I think the word for what he is is CRAY-CRAY.
Oh. No, he's gay himself. "AS A NEGRO-MALE HOMOSEXUAL, IT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE CAUCASIAN-MALE HOMOSEXUALS ARE RACISTS" and "AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN HAVING SEX WITH CAUCASIAN MALES FOR SEVERAL YEARS, I KNOW HOW TO SEPARATE THEIR "KKK-TENDENCIES" FROM THEIR SEX APPEAL. AS LONG AS, I AM NOT CALLED A "nigger" IN GENERAL, IT IS FINE FOR A CAUCASIAN MALE TO CALL ME "nigger" IN BED. "
I think the word for what he is is CRAY-CRAY.
16
Welp, Evan Hurst from Truth Wins Out here, from Memphis (where "top notch" artists' shows can fetch $100 and more, just like anywhere else, good lord...I paid $90 for Badu last year), and I just checked the Facebooks and indeed found a very closeted looking man named Christopher Allen Horton, who appears to be a cute closet case, from Tupelo, Mississippi. Just down the road, birthplace of Elvis and the American Family Association. I vote that he's real, and quite a bumpkin.
17
WELL, IT IS QUITE STRANGE TO FIND OUT I AM THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. I AM A CLASSICAL MUSICIAN. VOICE - BASS-BARITONE - IS MY PERFORMANCE AREA. I ENJOY EARLY MUSIC (MEDIEVAL/RENAISSANCE). IN REFERENCE TO Dan Savage, I CLICKED THE "MUSIC" LINK ON, Stranger - SO, I ASSUMED Dan Savage IS A MUSICIAN. IN REFERENCE TO MY POST ON TURDS, I AM A PRACTICING SCATOLOGIST. WOW! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS PAGE. I AM A REAL ATHEISTIC-NEGRO-MALE HOMOSEXUAL. I AM FORTY-FIVE YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN "OUT" ALL OF MY LIFE. I STARTED HAVING SEX AT AGE SEVEN WITH ADULT MALES - THEREFORE, EVERYONE IN MY COMMUNITY HAS ALWAYS KNOWN MY "ACTIVITIES." THERE IS NO SHAME. Dan Savage IS HANDSOME - NO ONE CAN DENY THAT.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
20
Poor guy. No matter who he is, no matter what his level of sincerity is, he's obviously suffering from some degree of mental-emotional damage that must be causing him a regrettable amount of pain. This is where you neurotypicals say, 'I feel sorry for him.' I'd say that too, but my sense of pity doesn't work that way.
21
For a moment, I thought writing things in ALMOST all caps, but with the occasional word in lowercase (for emphasis, apparantly) was Dr. Bronner's schtick, but a quick internet search says that isn't the case. But I swear someone out there already achieved some minor notoriety with this writing style, and that this guy is copying it.
Ah, whatever. I say this is pure parody, not unlike Lord Basil.
Ah, whatever. I say this is pure parody, not unlike Lord Basil.
22
Is ALL CAPS the new cut out the letters from newspaper and paste them on construction paper kidnapper|bomber|killer method of communicating?
23
"#19,"
I HAVE A "DADDY-GREY-BEAR" FETISH. I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MALES WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER OR GRANDFATHER [AGES 65-85]. MATURE MALES ARE SEXY. SMOOTH-BODIED "YOUNG THINGS" ARE NOT MY "THANG." I LIKE IT NASTY.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
I HAVE A "DADDY-GREY-BEAR" FETISH. I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MALES WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER OR GRANDFATHER [AGES 65-85]. MATURE MALES ARE SEXY. SMOOTH-BODIED "YOUNG THINGS" ARE NOT MY "THANG." I LIKE IT NASTY.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
32
IT SEEMS PEOPLE ON THIS SITE THINK I AM FAKE AND DOING SOME TYPE OF COMEDY ACT. THESE COMMENTS OBVIOUSLY MEAN MANY OF YOU HAVE NOT LEFT YOUR BACKYARD AND SEEN THE WORLD. PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE EVERYWHERE - THAT IS, OUTSIDE OF THE VACUUM OF SEATTLE. COME TO THE ARKANSAS/MISSISSIPPI/TENNESSEE TRI-STATE AREA - WHERE "REAL" PEOPLE LIVE. SINCE ANOTHER COMMENTER MENTIONED, Google, "SNIDBITS" OF MY VALUES FROM DECEMBER 2011 TO PRESENT CAN BE ANALYZED, IF SO DESIRED. Google ALSO HAS A WEB LINK FOR MY MASTER OF MUSIC THESIS FROM UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL ARKANSAS [SERIAL TECHNIQUE]. I AM A REAL PERSON. IT IS QUITE STRANGE TO ME - SINCE Y'ALL ARE IN SEATTLE - NO ONE HAS WENT ONLINE AND RESEARCHED MY COMMENTS ON Amazon.com [CUSTOMER DISCUSSIONS].
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
33
Attn. Mr. Chrissy Allen Horton Hears A Who...
Marriage Equality is NOT a political issue. It's a civil rights issue. There are gay republicans, gay democrats, gay independents, gay tea partiers, gay liberals, gay conservatives, etc. all fighting for Marriage Equality.
And anyone who IS part of a political party that sees fit to remove the basic human rights and dignities of an entire group and class of people, need to be gently reminded that the country in which they would feel more comfortable is perhaps Uganda or Iran.
Bon Voyage muthafuckahs !
Marriage Equality is NOT a political issue. It's a civil rights issue. There are gay republicans, gay democrats, gay independents, gay tea partiers, gay liberals, gay conservatives, etc. all fighting for Marriage Equality.
And anyone who IS part of a political party that sees fit to remove the basic human rights and dignities of an entire group and class of people, need to be gently reminded that the country in which they would feel more comfortable is perhaps Uganda or Iran.
Bon Voyage muthafuckahs !
34
"TreGibbs,"
CALLING ME "Chrissy" IMPLIES YOU THINK I AM EFFEMINATE - I AM NOT. EFFEMINATE-MALE HOMOSEXUALS DESERVE THE SAME TREATMENT CARRIED OUT IN UGANDA AND IRAN - IF THAT INCLUDES YOU, TreGibbs, SO BE IT. "Gay" MARRIAGE IS NOT A CIVIL RIGHT. MARRIAGE IS A UNION BASED ON A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE. SINCE THE MAJOR FAITHS DO NOT SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALITY, IT IS SILLY FOR "gays" TO WANT SOMETHING WHICH DOES NOT WANT YOU.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
CALLING ME "Chrissy" IMPLIES YOU THINK I AM EFFEMINATE - I AM NOT. EFFEMINATE-MALE HOMOSEXUALS DESERVE THE SAME TREATMENT CARRIED OUT IN UGANDA AND IRAN - IF THAT INCLUDES YOU, TreGibbs, SO BE IT. "Gay" MARRIAGE IS NOT A CIVIL RIGHT. MARRIAGE IS A UNION BASED ON A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE. SINCE THE MAJOR FAITHS DO NOT SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALITY, IT IS SILLY FOR "gays" TO WANT SOMETHING WHICH DOES NOT WANT YOU.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
35
"CIENNA MADRID,"
MA'AM THANKS FOR BELIEVING ME. IT IS QUITE UPSETTING FOR OTHERS TO THINK I AM A "HOAX" AND MY LIFE IS A "LIE." ALMOST ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE HAVE VOTED AND LESS THAN FIFTY PERCENT BELIEVE MY SINCERITY. IF I HAD SAID I WAS A NEGRO MALE WHO IS A SERIAL KILLER, I WOULD RECEIVE OVER NINETY PERCENT BELIEVABILITY. I THINK THE "REAL" PROBLEM IS, MOST OF THE VOTERS THINK I AM CAUCASIAN BECAUSE OF MY USE OF THE WORD, "NEGRO" - CONTEMPORARY PEOPLE OF MY RACE DO NOT USE THAT WORD.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
MA'AM THANKS FOR BELIEVING ME. IT IS QUITE UPSETTING FOR OTHERS TO THINK I AM A "HOAX" AND MY LIFE IS A "LIE." ALMOST ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE HAVE VOTED AND LESS THAN FIFTY PERCENT BELIEVE MY SINCERITY. IF I HAD SAID I WAS A NEGRO MALE WHO IS A SERIAL KILLER, I WOULD RECEIVE OVER NINETY PERCENT BELIEVABILITY. I THINK THE "REAL" PROBLEM IS, MOST OF THE VOTERS THINK I AM CAUCASIAN BECAUSE OF MY USE OF THE WORD, "NEGRO" - CONTEMPORARY PEOPLE OF MY RACE DO NOT USE THAT WORD.
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
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