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News & ArtsTuesday, April 24, 2012
Homo Christian Homophobe Slams Mike and Ike Candy for Subversive Gay Relationship
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Tue, Apr 24, 2012 at 11:34 AM
It's not bad enough that Tony Perkins, president of the homophobic Christian group Family Research Council, had to learn via the liberal media that the fruit candies known as Mike and Ike—candies he's undoubtedly been sucking on for years—are gay. He also had to discover that they're splitting up.
And Perkins is really, really torn up about it:
According to Right Wing Watch, the anti-gay Perkins lamented the PR move by Mike & Ike on a radio bulletin in his latest criticism for those not adhering to the social values he believes in.
“It’s just another subtle example of society chipping away at the value of marriage,” he said. “And I don’t know what’s more disturbing–that advertisers think divorce appeals to kids or that sexualizing candy will make people buy more. After a year-long build-up, the company will reveal if the couple reconciles. Until then, look for Mike & Ike to have a distinctly liberal flavor.”
Condolences to Mike and Ike but this news totally made my day.
2
This is what happens when you let gays marry - candy shacking up with candy, and is it any surprise when their unholy relationship fails? MIKE & IKE ARE DESTROYING THE SANCTITY OF THE RAINBOW OF FRUIT FLAVORS!!!
4
To be fair I also find the sexualization of candy to be kind of gross, but M&Ms are by far the worst offenders in that regard.
6
@3, if you mean Good'n'Plenty, no, those are made by Hershey. I think that's the "bear version" if you catch my drift.
And Hot Tamales are actually flamboyant and very spicy sex workers. Cha cha cha.
And Hot Tamales are actually flamboyant and very spicy sex workers. Cha cha cha.
8
What?
Since when were Mike and Ike "people" who are in a gay relationship? I must be way behind on my candy news.
I think it is hilarious though, as if I needed another reason to eat Mike and Ikes. Delicious.
Since when were Mike and Ike "people" who are in a gay relationship? I must be way behind on my candy news.
I think it is hilarious though, as if I needed another reason to eat Mike and Ikes. Delicious.
9
Don't get me started on the what the Jujyfruits get up to, jostling around in the box together. It's a goddam bukakke party in there.
10
How on Earth did Perkins make this promotion a sexual thing? If you read the fictional character's "blog", Mike talks about dating girls, and liking Hillary Duff. Apparently Mike & Ike have been reworked into 20 somethings.
Tony Perkins, the only gay person in this scenario is you.
Tony Perkins, the only gay person in this scenario is you.
11
I think I missed how this sexualizes candy. Do we know they were even having sex? Maybe that's why they're breaking up.
Jesus - why is this any of our business? Can't we let pretend celebrities have a bit of privacy? Damn candy tabloids.
Jesus - why is this any of our business? Can't we let pretend celebrities have a bit of privacy? Damn candy tabloids.
12
@6 just did some googling and you're right about Hershey. Good n' Fruity was/is a less popular Hershey spinoff of Good n' Plenty.
During a brief goth phase, I was once accosted by some at-risk youth on the L in Chicago. Being a smartass, I offered them some of my candy. "Fuck you and your Good n' Fruity," was their response. Still a phrase I pull out of my hat occasionally.
I won't even get into my theories on Pixy Stix, Gushers, Butterfingers and Jolly Ranchers.
During a brief goth phase, I was once accosted by some at-risk youth on the L in Chicago. Being a smartass, I offered them some of my candy. "Fuck you and your Good n' Fruity," was their response. Still a phrase I pull out of my hat occasionally.
I won't even get into my theories on Pixy Stix, Gushers, Butterfingers and Jolly Ranchers.
17
They're little candy penises. Any man who eats them must secretly want to suck cock. And any woman who eats them is a whore.
Blip's right about those M&Ms.
And how can Perkins not stand up against the sexualization of candy? How can you do that to Baby Ruth?!? CPS needs to get in on this, stat.
And Mounds? That is objectifying women! We cannot stand for this!!!!
Blip's right about those M&Ms.
And how can Perkins not stand up against the sexualization of candy? How can you do that to Baby Ruth?!? CPS needs to get in on this, stat.
And Mounds? That is objectifying women! We cannot stand for this!!!!
18
H'm. Wikipedia says that Mike and Ike (They Look Alike) were comics characters created by Rube Goldberg in 1907. (Check out the page to see Ike washing dishes in a frilly apron!) They were turned into candy icons in 1940 by the oddly named Just Born company, who I guess still makes them today.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_and_Ik…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_and_Ik…
19
It's just a clever marketing campaign to distract people from the fact that the box is shrinking and you're now paying the same amount for a 5oz box that you used to for 6oz.
20
Ugh, you damn liberals want us to endorse Mike & Ike's sinful lifestyle. Next you'll expect the government to grant amnesty to illegal Hot Tomales out stealing shelf space from AMERICAN candies. I can't stand it, I'm retiring to my villa in Italy.
22
Hilarious. Religious wingnuts will take the bait (Gummi Worms?)everytime. It's like shooting Swedish Fish in a barrel.
23
@12
Hershey?
*snicker*
*snort*
Billy's a chocolate sailor!
*snrck*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYbunqF…
Hershey?
*snicker*
*snort*
Billy's a chocolate sailor!
*snrck*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYbunqF…
25
They had so much in common!! Ike was taking it up the vowel for years though with any number of boxed candies. So I hear. I've always preferred the straightforward honesty of a blow pop.
26
Gay = "sexualizing"
Hetero couple in the same situation would've been completely ignored, even old-fashioned.
Lame, Tony. I mean we all know you're obsessed with gay sex, but come on, you're just waving it in our faces at this point.
Hetero couple in the same situation would've been completely ignored, even old-fashioned.
Lame, Tony. I mean we all know you're obsessed with gay sex, but come on, you're just waving it in our faces at this point.
28
@27, don't encourage her. Next thing you know you'll be crosseyed drunk and elbow deep in a ewe's vagina. And God help you if you spill her jam-jar gin...
Beware my own private Idaho, is what I'm saying.
Beware my own private Idaho, is what I'm saying.
29
These guys are like the Westboro Baptists. They'll cling onto anything as long as it keeps their names in the papers and the donations pouring in.
30
@23
It was a triple entendre...? Hershey is also a city in PA, so the new gay bar would be...well, the new gay bar.
It was a triple entendre...? Hershey is also a city in PA, so the new gay bar would be...well, the new gay bar.
31
Perkins also says that the Secret Service scandal is due to open homosexuality in the military. I know, right? A man having sex with a woman? That's so gay! Especially if he pays for the sex!
32
Two Musketeers seek third. Own sword? Huge plus! Jousting and foodplay a must(no nougat allergies).
33
DON'T get me started on the abomination that is modern-day Good 'n' Fruity. They used to be weird, tasty fruit versions of Good & Plenty, with (as I just discovered while researching this vital matter last week) a red-licorice flavored chewy thing in the middle and the candy shell outside it. Now they're just like elongated jelly beans, which is to say not that much different from Mr. Mike and his Ike.
Fruit candy diversity: more important than ever.
Fruit candy diversity: more important than ever.
34
@17, some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. They couldn't have made it any clearer than that.
35
@32: I think you mean "Three Musketeers seek fourth", nimrod. The book is the most inaptly-titled piece of good literature I've ever read.
36
Yeah, they don't actually say they're in that kind of relationship, but—as I believe Dan once said—"subtext" is just another way of spelling "buttsex."
40
Umm first of all who cares if they are gay?? And to the one saying tht tthe marriage failed bc it was a gay marriage hey dumbass look around straight marriages fail everyday ... Simple minded people make me sick wit they small minds!! May your future kids grow up n make us gays proud by being happy wether its gay or straight u my friends tht believe gays r wrong u will never be happy u will talk shit til u die n y
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