It's not bad enough that Tony Perkins, president of the homophobic Christian group Family Research Council, had to learn via the liberal media that the fruit candies known as Mike and Ike—candies he's undoubtedly been sucking on for years—are gay. He also had to discover that they're splitting up.

And Perkins is really, really torn up about it:

According to Right Wing Watch, the anti-gay Perkins lamented the PR move by Mike & Ike on a radio bulletin in his latest criticism for those not adhering to the social values he believes in.

“It’s just another subtle example of society chipping away at the value of marriage,” he said. “And I don’t know what’s more disturbing–that advertisers think divorce appeals to kids or that sexualizing candy will make people buy more. After a year-long build-up, the company will reveal if the couple reconciles. Until then, look for Mike & Ike to have a distinctly liberal flavor.”

Condolences to Mike and Ike but this news totally made my day.