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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Sodomy-Enhanced Marriage

Posted by on Wed, Apr 11, 2012 at 9:47 AM


Some rightwing religious homophobes—who are probably gay themselves (SCIENCE says so!)—are trying to popularize the term "sodomy-based marriage." They want their fellow haters and to use it in place of "gay marriage."


I don't think of my marriage as "sodomy-based." I think of it as "sodomy-enhanced"—just like the marriages of millions of straight couples.


Comments (44) RSS

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Fnarf 1
The only kind of marriage that God recognizes is FEAR-BASED MARRIAGE, Dan.
Posted by Fnarf on April 11, 2012 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 2
They're completely ignoring lesbians. As usual.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
"Sodomy-based marriage"? That would be a marriage where the only permitted forms of birth control are anal sex or frottage, correct?
Posted by TechBear on April 11, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
thatsnotright 4
I wonder how far they'd get if their message was "outlaw blowjobs", an act which in many states was or still is, on the statute books as unnatural acts and fell under the rubric od sodomy. Keep pushing the fact NOM's intrusion into private life efffects everybody.
Posted by thatsnotright on April 11, 2012 at 10:00 AM · Report this
Um, is hetero matrimony "vagina-based marriage"? Is it "coitus-based marriage"? Heck, no one even calls it "procreation-based marriage."
Posted by DRF on April 11, 2012 at 3:06 PM · Report this
Womyn2me 6
We have a 'work-laundry-housekeeping-meal planning-based' marriage.
good lord, we have to make sure we schedule sodomy into our regular daily lives or we'd be too busy, look up one day and realize we havent sodomized in months.
Posted by Womyn2me http://http:\\ on April 11, 2012 at 3:07 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 7
Matt Barber has never had any fun in the sack, ever. It's just tears, a few grunts, and "honey, let's just get this over with so procreation can occur" and snoring.
Posted by undead ayn rand on April 11, 2012 at 3:09 PM · Report this
These conservatives may not partake in sodomy-based (or enhanced) marriages, but they're still fucking assholes as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by Ricardo on April 11, 2012 at 3:13 PM · Report this
Megaera 9
Is 'sodomy' a word that most people in the US would use easily or in polite company? Is it a word that most Christians (apart from the WBC) would be comfortable using in front of kids?

In the UK, it would definitely not be acceptable language in polite company. If the US holds much the same views, I think they have overstepped the mark and may even alienate some of the very people who currently support them. I know it would make my Christian, homophobic mum wince. It comes across as crass and needlessly offensive: she would not want to be associated with it.
Posted by Megaera on April 11, 2012 at 3:14 PM · Report this
nocutename 10
@8: Great!
Posted by nocutename on April 11, 2012 at 3:14 PM · Report this
@ 10 - Thanks
Posted by Ricardo on April 11, 2012 at 3:16 PM · Report this
Dan, I completely agree with everything you just said. I just wish you hadn't linked to that particular article - did you read it? It's completely sex phobic.

One "expert" says in the article that anal sex is '"the most selfless of common sexual acts" given the amount of pain the "bottoming" partner endures in its practice.' The other "expert" they call upon tries to get male gay couples to not have anal sex, because 'the act diminishes self-confidence and self-esteem while causing relationship confusion among partners. "The worse part about this destruction of self-esteem is that it's on the subconscious level. A person will not feel anything during the act," he writes. "And the pleasure derived from the act will override the logic necessary to correct the behavior. In addition, there is a delay between the act of anal intercourse and the reduction of self-esteem of the person."'

This is complete bullshit, and pretty much the entire article - they don't go into how awesome anal sex can be for both partners at all. I'm disappointed that you linked to such an awful article.
Posted by wyndsung on April 11, 2012 at 3:22 PM · Report this
I Hate Screen Names 13
This really just proves how in the closet the 'phobes are. They can't look at a gay couple-- even in the abstract-- without immediately thinking of hot, hot gay sex.

By way of comparison: when (the impersonal) you see a homely couple, do you immediately think of them fucking?
Posted by I Hate Screen Names on April 11, 2012 at 3:27 PM · Report this
My hetero marriage is sodomy enhanced and I'm thankful for it!
Posted by tinytown on April 11, 2012 at 3:45 PM · Report this
I'm amused at the abstinence sex ed showing, there. Considering a non trivial number of gays don't even like anal/sodomy... derp. :p
Posted by Education: Failing adults and world leaders too on April 11, 2012 at 3:48 PM · Report this
It's so unfair that the citizens of Gamorrah didn't get anything fun named after them, when they did every bit as much to deserve it as those attention-hogging Sodomites.
Posted by Proteus on April 11, 2012 at 3:56 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 17
@9: "Is it a word that most Christians (apart from the WBC) would be comfortable using in front of kids?"

Only when talking about the gay menace, or telling their version of the bible story.
Posted by undead ayn rand on April 11, 2012 at 3:56 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 18
Gay Marriage Same Sex Marriage Sodomy Based Marriage WOW Gay folk really do it everything. No wonder the haters are so upset. Gay folk have all the choices.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on April 11, 2012 at 4:20 PM · Report this
rob! 19
Giddyup, bluenoses:…

I can't believe nobody put that up already.
Posted by rob! on April 11, 2012 at 4:36 PM · Report this
@2 Urgutha,

Oral sex is sodomy, so that covers most everyone.

Posted by Married in MA on April 11, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report this
Sea Otter 21
@12 Has a point. Here's another article that says more or less the same thing, without citing obvious crackpots as sources.
Posted by Sea Otter on April 11, 2012 at 5:17 PM · Report this
I fully endorse sodomy-enhanced marriage. It works for me!
Posted by gromm on April 11, 2012 at 5:24 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 23
@21: Aka HuffPo & Jezebel fodder.
Posted by undead ayn rand on April 11, 2012 at 5:32 PM · Report this
Sea Otter 24
To people like Barber, buttfucking (or, I suppose, pussy licking in the case of lesbians) and gayness are pretty much equivalent. In the minds of people who think like this, the only salient feature of a relationship between two men or two women is the mechanics of sex. The idea that gay people's marriages, like straight people's marriages, are "based" on a lot of stuff (like shared goals, and mutual love and respect) has probably never even crossed his twisted little mind.

(Despite that "sodomy" technically includes a number of different things, I'm guessing that he's using the word "sodomy" to conjure up an image of buttfucking, since this particular act seems to arouse the most disgust in certain people.)
Posted by Sea Otter on April 11, 2012 at 5:45 PM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 25
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on April 11, 2012 at 5:53 PM · Report this
My sodomy enhanced marriage is working out just fine, thank you very much!
Posted by drcme on April 11, 2012 at 6:39 PM · Report this
jimmy 27
whut whut in da butt
Posted by jimmy on April 11, 2012 at 6:45 PM · Report this
@2- as @20/24 said, "sodomy" is basically a catchall euphemism to encompass ALL non-penis-in-vagina sex. The GA sodomy law in Bowers v. Hardwick banned "any sexual act involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another," while the TX law in Lawrence v. TX (which overturned Bowers) banned “any contact between any part of the genitals of one person and the mouth or anus of another person" or "the penetration of the genitals or the anus of another person with an object.” Making pretty much every sexually active human being, no matter where they fall on the Kinsey scale, a raging sodomite at one point or another.
Posted by pdx2dc on April 11, 2012 at 7:55 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 29

Man... that kind of intense fixation on genitals is usually only found in religious texts.

I've always felt that if god exists and is male, he is unquestionably gay. How else to explain the animosity towards women and the obsession with cocks?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 11, 2012 at 9:21 PM · Report this
Sea Otter 30
Q. Why did God make homosexuality a sin?
A. Because his boyfriend thought it would be hotter that way.
Posted by Sea Otter on April 11, 2012 at 9:26 PM · Report this
If sodomy covers everything I admit the term may be technically correct but if ever I marry I'm going with a cunt based marriage because cock gets too much attention already.
Posted by PenguinGirl on April 11, 2012 at 9:28 PM · Report this
The thing that's really offensive about it is that it implies that gay relationships are all about sex and are devoid of emotional depth. We all know this ain't true. Relationships that are purely about sex never last more than 2 years at most and don't get anywhere near the altar unless the parties are both complete idiots.

Someone should ask Matt Barber if it would be fair to describe his marriage, or straight marriage in general, as "Penis-in-Vagina sex based marriage". Seems kind of vulgar and crass, hm? Trivializes, demeans and ignores the emotional commitment, doesn't it? Mmmhmm.

Still, I'd say this nasty little slur is ultimately a good thing. It's so repulsive and indecent a thing to say that it's bound to backfire and reinforce the perception that to be against gay marriage is to be a hateful, judgemental douche with an unhealthy obsession with what goes on in other people's bedrooms, this making ever fewer people want to associate themselves with this nasty little cause.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on April 11, 2012 at 9:56 PM · Report this
This guy has a sodomy-based imagination.
Posted by James Hutchings on April 11, 2012 at 10:21 PM · Report this
@32 I have,

The latter part of your final paragraph pretty much sums up the former presidential candidate who will not be named (for his frothiness). He will not be easily cleared as a judgmental ass-wipe (by?).

Posted by Married in MA on April 12, 2012 at 1:45 AM · Report this
This makes sense, if you are willing to call straight marriages "vaginal intercourse based marriage."

Which, well, not based maybe. BUt certainly enhanced. :)
Posted by Docme on April 12, 2012 at 9:11 AM · Report this
Can we start referring to "traditional marriage" as "vaginal penetration based marriage" from now on?
Posted by esperando on April 12, 2012 at 9:50 AM · Report this
John Horstman 37
Nice, I'm going with "twat-fucking-based marriage".
Posted by John Horstman on April 12, 2012 at 11:56 AM · Report this
Bonefish 38
"Creampie-based marriage"
Posted by Bonefish on April 12, 2012 at 7:18 PM · Report this
lewlew 39
You are brilliant, my darling, and I just want to make sure you know it. Dan Savage, I'm talkin' to you. Keep always up the gggood work. xxx
Posted by lewlew on April 12, 2012 at 7:21 PM · Report this
Barbara Tee 40
I think "sodomy" may be a stronger, more offensive term in the UK than in the U.S.?

U.S. legislators and newspapers have no trouble at all talking about "sodomy laws". We automatically think of "Sodom and Gomorrah" in our Bible-based culture. If the Bible says it, it must be okay.
In the UK, I take it calling someone a "sod" is, to say the least, very impolite, and "low-class" slang. We don't have a similar slang term to "a sod" in the U.S. We have bad words for the same thing, just not the term "sod".
Posted by Barbara Tee on April 13, 2012 at 10:47 AM · Report this
@12 really does make a good point, and it's worth turning on the unregistered button.

Anal sex is really not much different from other kinds of sex, whatever Hugo Schwyzer may think. If a het couple engages in vaginal sex when the woman has no arousal whatsoever, then that's going to hurt like a bitch; likewise, if someone shoves a cock into your esophagus without warning you'll be extremely uncomfortable. In my experience, the fact that anal requires so much foreplay (if done properly) is part of why it's such an intimate experience. It's also why anal done properly is one the most mind-blowingly pleasurable experiences known to humankind. I feel very sorry for the girls who let themselves get pressured into anal sex but don't take just enough initiative to really give it a chance, and thus fulfill the stupid stereotype that women just don't like anal. I also feel sorry for the nice guys who aren't exploiting or trying to hurt their partners, just trying to be adventurous and share some freaky pleasure with someone they like, only to find themselves in bed with a girl who's grinding her teeth and waiting for it to be over. Sure, some people get off on that, but far, far, far from all. Hugo Schwyzer does men a disservice too when he assumes that they need to get off on their partners' pain (the no-fun kind, of course).
Posted by chicago girl on April 13, 2012 at 5:41 PM · Report this
"any sexual act involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another,"

So rimming isn't sodomy. Good to know. I try to avoid sodomy at least once a week.
Posted by catballou on April 13, 2012 at 7:45 PM · Report this
@42, I have less free time, so I have to restrict my trying to avoid sodomy to only once a month. One does what one cans.
Posted by ankylosaur on April 15, 2012 at 9:21 PM · Report this
Straight couples don't have oral sex?! Those poor bastards! No wonder they're always so cross.
Posted by Atagahi on May 20, 2012 at 3:53 PM · Report this

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