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Friday, March 30, 2012

Books Gavin McInnes's Book Is Awful

Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 3:48 PM

I don't know why I'm so surprised by this, but VICE Magazine co-creator Gavin McInnes's memoir, How to Piss in Public, is fucking terrible. It's just a bunch of anecdotes about McInnes doing a lot of cocaine and having sex with women, with a few perfunctory references to VICE's "fearless gonzo journalism" thrown in every so often. And he says lots of "edgy" things, because he's Gavin McInnes:

There were homos in World War II? I thought the Village People invented fags and then they all died in the eighties.

[Some women McInnes fucked] were just colostomy bags for my cum. I couldn't imagine life without pussy. When I think of a guy buying a blow-up doll not as a joke, it makes me want to cry.

...after flirting with her for about two minutes, I noticed she had no panties on and she had moisture dripping down her leg like a horny teardrop. I'm not kidding. That's how much of a filthy whore she was.

It's pretty much all like that. McInnes writes like Tucker Max, but he's more insufferable than Tucker Max, because he somehow believes he actually contributes something to society. He recounts a bunch of parties and name-drops a bunch of celebrities. And then he gets older and he gets married (his friends dressed up as members of the Ku Klux Klan for his bachelor party, for purposes of edginess) and has kids, and then the end of the book is weighted down with a bunch of bullshit middle-aged "I'm so much wiser now, but I had a whole lot of fun when I was a kid" reminiscing. It's just as cliched as a hastily produced rock star's autobiography, only instead of rock and roll, it's mostly about the breakneck world of magazine publishing. This shit would be funny, if it weren't so pathetic.

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Comments (21) RSS

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Bummer. His fashion writing tends to be largely hilarious.

Posted by Marti on March 30, 2012 at 4:06 PM

This is all the stuff that got cut from National Lampoon in 1978.

Posted by tkc on March 30, 2012 at 4:13 PM

Don't forget he's a small gov't., anti-Obama Republican.

Posted by eric (the other one) on March 30, 2012 at 4:14 PM

It's funny, because by the title and cover you would think it was hilarious and clever. Oh wait, no, you wouldn't. But thanks for confirming my book-by-its-cover judging.

Posted by Levislade

on March 30, 2012 at 4:20 PM

Ick!

Posted by ryanayr on March 30, 2012 at 4:21 PM

UGH. All other shit aside, SOME WOMEN JUST GET REAL WET OKAY?

Posted by icouldliveinhope on March 30, 2012 at 4:58 PM

His youtube videos are shitty too.

Posted by suddenlyorcas on March 30, 2012 at 5:11 PM

His DOs and DON'Ts were Vice's best and most consistent feature. I guess it's not too surprising he's a genuine asshole considering that's what made his writing so funny.

Posted by blip on March 30, 2012 at 5:15 PM

So, Paul, when are you going to learn how to resize images before posting? Browsers do a terrible job at it.

Posted by Tawnos on March 30, 2012 at 5:42 PM

Maybe he'll go to Cambodia looking for cheap hookers, step on a landmine and get asploded.

Posted by Breklor on March 30, 2012 at 7:09 PM

@3: "Don't forget he's a small gov't., anti-Obama Republican."

Only ironically.

Posted by pathetic, hipster cliche on March 30, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Right, this guy represents conservatism the way the Trailer Park Boys represent the Clinton Democrat.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on March 30, 2012 at 7:32 PM

It's hard to decide which is the most off-putting factor: the pathetically "zany" cover, the title, or someone from a magazine no self-respecting person (read: man) reads acting as if he's some sort of expert or celebrity whose exploits people would want to read about.

Posted by Knat on March 30, 2012 at 8:10 PM

This guy is not edgy nor is he a gonzo journalist. Hunter S Thompson would call him a bastard and punch him in the face.

Posted by passionate_jus on March 30, 2012 at 8:48 PM

You know, a lot of the time you can judge a book by its cover.

Posted by tiktok on March 30, 2012 at 11:25 PM

i've always hated his pointlessly mean-spirited ultra-cynical piece of shit magazine. fuuuuuuuck this guy.

Posted by Parsnip

on March 31, 2012 at 12:30 AM

Good god, the cover alone screams 'massive man child'.
Is this really what american men thrive to be?

Posted by Chaka mad. Chaka real mad. on March 31, 2012 at 3:28 AM

Never heard of him.

Never heard of Tucker Max either.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on March 31, 2012 at 7:50 AM

What @14 said.

Posted by GlamB0t on March 31, 2012 at 8:04 AM

Douche bag writes a douchey book. So what? I can think of 100 authors who are more insufferable than this. You could have reviewed Rachel Maddow's new book, but no, had to make a beeline for the lowest common denominator. Hey Paul, maybe next week you can review Snookie's new book!

Posted by montex on March 31, 2012 at 12:03 PM

Wow, as someone who enjoys irreverent jokes, I find this shit painfully unfunny. I have such ambivalence toward Vice, I really like the stuff Shane Smith does with VBS, but it seems like the majority of the articles I read now try way too hard to crack lame jokes.

Posted by the duster on March 31, 2012 at 2:57 PM