A North Carolina elected official—a male Republican—gets to the bottom of the whole "contraception" controversy.

See, the problem is women. Women having sex. If ladies didn't have sex there wouldn't be any need for contraception. This whole issue, this entire controversy, would go away if women would just stop having sex.

Men, of course, are blameless. Because a guy will just be sitting on a park bench or in a bowling alley, minding his own business and not even thinking about sex every two minutes, when a woman will come along, grab his penis, and run off with it. By the time he's summoned a police officer she's long gone and the damage has been done.