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Monday, March 12, 2012

Rick Santorum Thinks Teleprompters Are Satan's Work

Posted by on Mon, Mar 12, 2012 at 3:32 PM

Even the conservatives at The Corner are mocking Santorum for this one:

“See, I always believed that when you run for president of the United States, it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter.”

Okay. This is ridiculous. It perpetuates the Republican myth that President Obama is useless without a teleprompter—if there was any doubt, his showdown with House Republicans in 2010 should've put that to rest—and it's such a minor, pointless thing to complain about. Ronald Reagan used teleprompters. Before teleprompters, presidents used cue cards. Abraham fucking Lincoln read the Gettysburg Address off of a piece of paper.

The one thing I have to give Santorum is that I've watched him speak over a dozen times now, both live and on the internet and he's never given the same speech twice. A Santorum speech is so much more of a joy for me to cover than a Romney or—ugh—Ron Paul speech that keeps hitting the same three points over and over again, just because I don't know how a Santorum speech will end. His hatred of teleprompters keeps it interesting for political reporters, but it makes him prone to huge fucking mistakes all the time. His presidential campaign is the clearest argument for teleprompters I can think of.

 

Comments (21) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
balderdash 1
Winston Churchill waas an old-school badass who would not only memorize addresses, but write and rehearse conversations and repartee. Rick Santorum is a butthole-obsessed jumped-up car salesman with an untreated major neurosis and a middling IQ at best. Maybe you can see why the "unprompted" strategy worked for one of them but not the other.

In other news, of COURSE this is just a cheap, implicitly racist jab at President Obama. Has there been one single other thing in this entire Republican primary circus so far other than cheap racist jabs at President Obama?
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on March 12, 2012 at 3:49 PM · Report this
2
Abraham Lincoln read the Gettysburg Address off of a piece of paper and the LORD struck him down! Think about it.
Posted by Go 'way, 'batin' on March 12, 2012 at 3:50 PM · Report this
ryanayr 3
Somebody please photoshop Abe Lincoln reading from wooden teleprompters.

Also, were Obama to memorize his speeches, conservatives would criticize him for wasting precious time memorizing speeches, when he should be presidenting, and decidering.
Posted by ryanayr on March 12, 2012 at 3:55 PM · Report this
4
Shut up, Santorum! You're gonna lose this!
Posted by floater on March 12, 2012 at 3:57 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 5
Best evidence for the need for teleprompters: Sarah Palin. She cannot even form a proper sentence without a teleprompter.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on March 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 6
Santorum has been going full, overboard, batshit crazy for the last couple of days. This isn't the nuttiest thing he's said recently by far. He's getting desperate.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on March 12, 2012 at 4:06 PM · Report this
7
I'm not so sure that he's wrong here.

You see, I've always believed that "when you run for president of the United States", it should be illegal to wear slip-on shoes. I've always believed that.

I stand for smaller government! But more things being illegal if you're running for President of the United States.

I've always believed that "when you run for president of the United States", it should be illegal for any band to open for you that you have never purchased tickets to see (and actually attended the concert). I've always believed that.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on March 12, 2012 at 4:24 PM · Report this
8
Shit. unregistered @2 is right.
Posted by Eric from Boulder on March 12, 2012 at 4:34 PM · Report this
Zebes 9
Santorum's gonna be up shit creek when he alienates the powerful teleprompter lobby.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on March 12, 2012 at 4:35 PM · Report this
AmyC 10
there is a particular art to the evangelical sermon. the cadence, the buildup, the simple metaphors and similes, the timing of the pauses, and santorum has it DOWN. he's not stumping, he's preaching. dude's in the wrong line of work.
Posted by AmyC on March 12, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report this
11
PowerPoint? The devil's slideshow. Stacks of index cards with notes written on them? Satan's lapel pins. Google? Lucifer's chalkboard.
Posted by Proteus on March 12, 2012 at 4:46 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 12
Jesus... republicans are STILL trotting out the old teleprompter complaints??
Posted by Urgutha Forka on March 12, 2012 at 4:49 PM · Report this
Sir Vic 13
@1 You failed to mention that Winny had a major speech impediment as a child, which is why he worked so hard on his public speaking skills.

You did mention that Ricky was born a moron, and has clearly not worked to overcome that obstacle. In fact, he appears to revel in his imbecility.

The racist part was a given.

I'm awarding partial credit.
Posted by Sir Vic on March 12, 2012 at 4:49 PM · Report this
14
I'd like to make it illegal for Republicans to speak UNLESS they were using a teleprompter and I had written the speech.
Posted by Clayton on March 12, 2012 at 5:03 PM · Report this
the idiot formerly known as kk 15
I think I agree with Santorum on this one. It is perfectly possible to run a modern campaign without the use of teleprompters.
Posted by the idiot formerly known as kk on March 12, 2012 at 7:00 PM · Report this
16
I suspect that he is merely afraid of a Ron Burgundy-esque mishap. You know that son of a bitch Ron Paul would trick him into reading "Go fuck yourself, San Diego" off of the teleprompter.
Posted by catballou on March 12, 2012 at 7:02 PM · Report this
17
@16 With a smile. Don't forget that.
Posted by floater on March 12, 2012 at 9:16 PM · Report this
18
It's all those devious little ones and zeros. The devils digits. 1010011010. Streaming down that wire!

The teleprompter display is another lie, misrepresenting the encoded message. Belief in displayed message is sort of a contraception of the mind. An abortion of thought.

Stand Tall. Open your mind to God. Throw back your head, open your throat and let the Words of the Lord flow forth!

Thus all True Believers speak in tongues, while Satin's black messenger is dictated to by technology's false prophets!
Posted by Seattle Slave on March 12, 2012 at 9:19 PM · Report this
Posted by Demetria on March 12, 2012 at 10:52 PM · Report this
Nofo 20
Wouldn't making it illegal require more government?
Posted by Nofo http://nofo.blogspot.com on March 13, 2012 at 11:09 AM · Report this
Beetlecat 21
@20 Ding!
Posted by Beetlecat on March 13, 2012 at 11:17 AM · Report this

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