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Friday, March 9, 2012

Suck It, Santorum

Posted by on Fri, Mar 9, 2012 at 7:03 PM

The Romney campaign just announced that they have won all nine of Guam's delegates.

 

Comments (9) RSS

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Reverse Polarity 1
Who knew Guam would end up being a major playa in the presidential primary? You go, Guam!
Posted by Reverse Polarity on March 9, 2012 at 7:34 PM
Looking For a Better Read 2
After years of neglect on the pages of Slog, this is the second reference in less than a month for Guam! Hooray for that former home of mine that I really didn't enjoy!!
Posted by Looking For a Better Read on March 9, 2012 at 8:18 PM
prompt 3
"Guam counts? Shit." - Santorum
Posted by prompt on March 9, 2012 at 10:11 PM
4
Well, that wraps up this primary season. Guam has spoken!
Posted by Nitidiuscula on March 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM
5
"Governor Romney reinvents himself for whatever the political occasion calls for. People may not like everything I believe in, people may not agree with everything I believe in, but they know that I believe in what I believe in."

All true. Problem is, the whole gamut from Mother Theresa to Hitler could say the same thing. Conviction isn't everything.
Posted by floater on March 10, 2012 at 12:42 AM
Bub 6
"Fuck you, I'm going to Guam!"
Posted by Bub on March 10, 2012 at 6:55 AM
Sir Vic 7
So the GOP has primaries/caucuses in all 57 states too? I wonder if any of the candidates know about that number.
Posted by Sir Vic on March 10, 2012 at 8:07 AM
Paul Constant 8
After reading Buzzfeed this morning, I very much regret not writing the word "Guamney." I really dropped the ball on this one, and I apologize to you all.
Posted by Paul Constant http://https://twitter.com/paulconstant on March 10, 2012 at 11:08 AM
9
From the secret files of The Stranger staff:

THE PAUL CONSTANT JOB INTERVIEW


{Frizelle opens Dan Savage's office door at The Stranger}

Frizelle: Hey Dan! That applicant, Constant, is here for the book editor interview!

Savage: Sorry, I'm really jammed right now. Could you have that new intern interview him?

Frizelle: You mean the new Gay Intern? But he's only been here one day?

Savage: That's fine, 'cause I'm really busy at the moment.

{Frizelle closes door while Dan returns to playing Iraqi Invasion on his laptop.}

Gay Intern: So, Paul, how many books have you read over the last five years?

{Paul takes off his eyeglasses and scrunches up his face in concentration.}

Constant: Hmmm...one..no, make that two books!

Gay Intern: {Thinking silently to himself: Umm...that is soooo amazing....he's actually read a book......I'm going to have to do that sometime....but tonight, I just have to check out that new bathhouse that opened last week.....Hmmmmmmmm...Oopsy, focus, I've still got to finish this interview.}

Gay Intern: Well, in that case, you're hired!

And thusly begins the tale of Paul Constant at The Stranger.

Next week, another story from the secret files of The Stranger staff.

Posted by sgt_doom on March 10, 2012 at 11:11 AM

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