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Monday, March 5, 2012

Two-Block Radius Pests in Eden?

Posted by Charles Mudede on Mon, Mar 5, 2012 at 9:42 AM

True, there are no pests in Eden...

But rats, mice, ants, termites, flies, and cockroaches must have existed in Eden; it's just that they didn't bother the two human occupants. These creatures got along with the primal couple. We can even picture ants playfully teasing Eve, or a rat snuggling with Adam. There was no need to exterminate the little things. Death had no place in Eden.

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Comments (15) RSS

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Eden is a mythical fairy-tale land invented by a tribe of illiterate, nomadic goat-herders about 4,000 years ago. It never existed.

Posted by COMTE

on March 5, 2012 at 10:02 AM

Wow! Insightful and controversial comment, Comte!

Posted by sikandro on March 5, 2012 at 10:17 AM

Charles, the new Eden had dinosaurs. Just ask the creationists. Adam and Eve had tea with T. Rex and milked triceratops for cheese products. BTW, I hear Rex had really bad breath.

Posted by Vince on March 5, 2012 at 10:42 AM

Why is there a praying mantis on the exterminator truck? I would feel really bad calling these guys and seeing them exterminate some mantis.

Posted by Simone on March 5, 2012 at 10:51 AM

Just curious to know of anyone who's met Charles in real life—does he stand/walk at a 30-degree tilt?

Posted by rob!

on March 5, 2012 at 11:06 AM

Vince @3 - yup, and A & E went for rides on the backs of those triceratopseseses! And T. Rex's long sharp teeth were for opening coconuts!

Eden sure was a nice place to live. Too bad a woman had to come along and fuck it all up for us righteous upstanding men.

Posted by warreno

on March 5, 2012 at 11:06 AM

I snuggle with rats all the time.

Holy shit. I'm in Eden!

Posted by Zuulabelle

on March 5, 2012 at 11:21 AM

Ahhhh, how I long for the good ole days.,...., I have always been curious though... Why didn't God send the snake out of Eden??? That could have been considered the first pest removal job. Or were humans the first and only pests to be relocated from paradise???

Posted by pupuguru on March 5, 2012 at 11:36 AM

The problem I have with Eden is that we're all running around naked, but we're apparently too "innocent" and naive to properly enjoy these circumstances.

Posted by seandr on March 5, 2012 at 11:37 AM

@8 - As the tale goes, He did banish the snake—and took away his legs to boot—from the garden along with the other two.

It all seems pretty silly, and then you consider we've got a leading Presidential candidate that (presumably) believes Eden actually be in Jackson County, Missouri.

Posted by Dougsf on March 5, 2012 at 1:04 PM

@5, he has been known to list this way and that as he walks, but I'd chalk this photo up to his belief that lining up your photos carefully is for hicks and Shona princesses.

Posted by gloomy gus on March 5, 2012 at 1:08 PM

I'm pretty sure those rats and ticks, etc. came in with that whore Lilith. Wherever she came from.

Posted by Fnarf

on March 5, 2012 at 1:50 PM

@5: And he takes pictures with a 1990s-era cellphone, apparently -- or covers it with a plastic bag when he's shooting.

Posted by bigyaz on March 5, 2012 at 1:53 PM

Charles, maybe people wouldn't be so "quick to call shit" on you if you didn't post such inane garbage (like seriously considering the living conditions of a clearly fabricated fairytale land) to SLOG so often.

Posted by Knat on March 5, 2012 at 2:44 PM