It's trueâat 8 p.m. tonight, the world may spontaneously combust as two of the funniest, always-rightest people ever take the stage together at Benaroya Hall in downtown Seattle and speak words. Tickets are still available. And, by popular demand (by one commenter, izzy), here is an bit of this Fran Lebowitz interview that got left on the cutting-room floor.
THE STRANGER: Gay marriage: pro, or con, or neutral?
FRAN LEBOWITZ: I donât care if people want to do this. I happen to be, apparently, the last person alive who actually does not care what other people do. My main feeling is, I donât care what you do, as long as you donât make noise. I donât care if people want to get married, they can get married, you know, as long as itâs not mandatory⌠I, as a single person who pays taxes, I think itâs unfair that anyone is allowed to get married, from a money point of view⌠It seems to me that the arguments are either about money, or about visiting people in hospitals, neither of which I find that sexy, to tell you the truth. To me, not having to be with someone else in the hospital? Perfect! Great! âIâd love to meet you in the hospital, but unfortunately, I canât.â That would be more my stance. I donât want to have to visit you in the hospital. But as far as all of these financial advantages, I donât see why thatâs fair.
Single people should get them too?
No one should get them!
[But] you said as long as they donât make noiseâŚ
Noise is the thing I hate the most⌠I donât care if the people in the next apartmentâI donât care what theyâre doing, as long as I donât hear them.
And what if you do hear them?
Then I care. Then pipe down. But I donât care what configuration theyâre in.