It's true—at 8 p.m. tonight, the world may spontaneously combust as two of the funniest, always-rightest people ever take the stage together at Benaroya Hall in downtown Seattle and speak words. Tickets are still available. And, by popular demand (by one commenter, izzy), here is an bit of this Fran Lebowitz interview that got left on the cutting-room floor.

THE STRANGER: Gay marriage: pro, or con, or neutral?
FRAN LEBOWITZ: I don’t care if people want to do this. I happen to be, apparently, the last person alive who actually does not care what other people do. My main feeling is, I don’t care what you do, as long as you don’t make noise. I don’t care if people want to get married, they can get married, you know, as long as it’s not mandatory… I, as a single person who pays taxes, I think it’s unfair that anyone is allowed to get married, from a money point of view… It seems to me that the arguments are either about money, or about visiting people in hospitals, neither of which I find that sexy, to tell you the truth. To me, not having to be with someone else in the hospital? Perfect! Great! “I’d love to meet you in the hospital, but unfortunately, I can’t.” That would be more my stance. I don’t want to have to visit you in the hospital. But as far as all of these financial advantages, I don’t see why that’s fair.

Single people should get them too?
No one should get them!

[But] you said as long as they don’t make noise…
Noise is the thing I hate the most… I don’t care if the people in the next apartment—I don’t care what they’re doing, as long as I don’t hear them.

And what if you do hear them?
Then I care. Then pipe down. But I don’t care what configuration they’re in.

Read the interview > > >