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News & ArtsSunday, February 26, 2012
Religion Slog Bible Study: Revelation 12:1-6
Posted by Goldy on Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 7:00 AM
Revelation 12:1-6
A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. The woman fled into the desert to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.
Discuss.
3
The latter part seems to refer to a divorce settlement: condo in Palm Springs, pay off the remaining car loan (1260 days=42 months), yadda yadda. Traditional marriage was under assault long before the gheys took an iron scepter to it.
4
You've really been scraping the bottom of the barrel with these lately. Maybe it's time to give it a rest.
5
See? Even the Bible supports maternity leave. Let's see the Republicans weasel their way out of this!
6
Whenever I have a hard time interpreting a Bible passage it helps me to remember that every word is literally true. I makes it so much easier to understand how the dragon could sweep the third of the of the stars out of the sky.
8
Sweeping a third of the stars out of the sky and hurling them to earth... I'm no astrophysicist, but this part just didn't seem plausible to me.
9
6, you'd think that since the Bible is the word of God, he would have known that stars millions of times bigger than the Earth, not to mention billions of miles away, and couldn't fall to our planet like snow flakes.
10
This passage is very unclear. Is it ten horns, TOTAL, or ten horns per head? In which case he should have hallucinated, eh, I mean **written** seventy horns. If it's just the ten, one per head? where are the other three? Some heads have two? All ten on one? Randomly distributed about the body? In place of naughty bits? GASP - is it just a euphemism for 10 naughty bits?
13
Welcome to the one and only positive/sympathetic portrayal of a woman in the entire Book of Revelation. All the other ladies mentioned in it are dirty sluts who get gruesomely punished in this vicious revenge fantasy against anyone and everyone whom John of Patmos did not like.
It really astounded me, when I read it, just how juvenile the whole thing was: "Neener neener God doesn't like you and you're going to be gruesomely tortured for all eternity!" It's a piece of magical-thinking fueled junior-high bullying on steroids. Regardless of whether you take it as theology, philosophy or literature, it's an utterly barfworthy piece of complete garbage.
It really astounded me, when I read it, just how juvenile the whole thing was: "Neener neener God doesn't like you and you're going to be gruesomely tortured for all eternity!" It's a piece of magical-thinking fueled junior-high bullying on steroids. Regardless of whether you take it as theology, philosophy or literature, it's an utterly barfworthy piece of complete garbage.
14
There was a world filled with monsters. When you are ignorant you'll liable to make up any story that gets people to listen. Just like Saint Santorum the ignoramus.
15
@4, You're not suggesting that Revelation is the bottom of the barrel, are you?
(FYI, there's actually a hidden pattern to my Slog Bible Study postings. Goldy moves in mysterious ways.)
(FYI, there's actually a hidden pattern to my Slog Bible Study postings. Goldy moves in mysterious ways.)
16
Observing his buddies locked in an RPG battle between Belphegor and Leviathan, John of Patmos couldn't help but embellish the story...to make their campaign that much the better.
18
Elegant proof that the Egyptians really did visit the new world.
And they brought Peyote back with them.
And they brought Peyote back with them.
19
At least they're not slaughtering their neighbors this week.
This would make an awesome black light poster.
This would make an awesome black light poster.
20
@Goldy: Revelation is absolutely the bottom of the barrel. And you know it. Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
21
3.5 year maternity leave? God provides a hell of a good benefits package. But is birth control covered?
22
"She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter."
This is why we need to keep abortion safe & legal.
This is why we need to keep abortion safe & legal.
28
@Rob, yeah, the monkey gods (Hamumen) and elephants (Ganesh) actually make more sense. Not much more, though.
30
The Virginia legislature and its anti-woman abortion policies needs to keep it vaginal probes to itself.
31
Revelation, and most of the rest of the bible, is just a circle-jerk fantasy that the christians believed that god would punish the Romans and the christians would all win in the end. It's just them writing to themselves how cool they are and how awesome they are and how they're all going to be victorious and they'll have their revenge and so on and so on...
35
@15: If this pattern turns into the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme or "Everybody Walk the Dinosaur", I will fucking cut you.
36
Having a dragon whose tail was billions of light-years long whip a third of the some bajillion sextillion stars at the Earth WOULD be a really fucking awesome apocalypse, just typin'.
37
Sounds kind of like the birth of Apollo and Artemis. Giant snake/dragon (named "Python," which is where the snakes got their name) chased their mom around trying to eat the kids as soon as they were born.
40
@39: Perhaps, but Revelations seems like original material, as these things go. I think John hallucinated it all on his own.
42
Sounds like something an old man would hallucinate after being alone for long periods of time and both drunk or dying. Maybe I should base my deepest held convictions on it.
43
Interpreting is regarded as a higher than speaking in toungs in Christianity. The Andromeda galaxy is closing the distance on the milky way and Vegas is working the odds of what stars will hit what stars and just what will hit the earth?
"Heaven opened and closed Hell" is yacked about in the bible so how these evils are jumping from heaven are Questions.
Seems the earth is dressed by the sun as are all planets and the desert could be space so the the earth will be gravitationaly pushed out away from the crash of the galaxy's and for some 4 years will be at mercy.
Then again "the spirit" lead Jesus into the desert to be tempted by the devil and that is what really gets lawyers salivating?
But yea you don't need to go to church or pick up a bible or be a Christian or burn korans to believe in God and that's made very clear in the Bible and The Koran.
"Heaven opened and closed Hell" is yacked about in the bible so how these evils are jumping from heaven are Questions.
Seems the earth is dressed by the sun as are all planets and the desert could be space so the the earth will be gravitationaly pushed out away from the crash of the galaxy's and for some 4 years will be at mercy.
Then again "the spirit" lead Jesus into the desert to be tempted by the devil and that is what really gets lawyers salivating?
But yea you don't need to go to church or pick up a bible or be a Christian or burn korans to believe in God and that's made very clear in the Bible and The Koran.
44
"The latter part seems to refer to a divorce settlement: condo in Palm Springs, pay off the remaining car loan (1260 days=42 months)"
I think Rob @3 has nailed it! ...Woody Allen, i believe, was the first to point out that the word 'Oldsmobile' first appeared in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
I think Rob @3 has nailed it! ...Woody Allen, i believe, was the first to point out that the word 'Oldsmobile' first appeared in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
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