Slog
News & ArtsFriday, February 24, 2012
Hetero Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Nine-year-old Savannah Hardin is dead because she wanted a chocolate bar.
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Vince, for every one of these posts, every time you put up that link, I am going to donate to childhaven.
Dan, I recommend you do the same. I know this is about gay marriage to you, but to me it's about helping children. These are stories of children being tortured and abused. It is shameful that this has happened in our society. So, I'm going to donate, do what I can to reduce the number of children who live in hell.
I hope you do the same.
And, btw, this isn't the family structure FotF promotes. Dobson would say that this was a case of a single step-mother raising a non-biological child and that's what failed this kid. FotF thinks that bio-moms living with bio-dads would reduce child abuse. This article does not address their argument.
Dan, I recommend you do the same. I know this is about gay marriage to you, but to me it's about helping children. These are stories of children being tortured and abused. It is shameful that this has happened in our society. So, I'm going to donate, do what I can to reduce the number of children who live in hell.
I hope you do the same.
And, btw, this isn't the family structure FotF promotes. Dobson would say that this was a case of a single step-mother raising a non-biological child and that's what failed this kid. FotF thinks that bio-moms living with bio-dads would reduce child abuse. This article does not address their argument.
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They were just trying to have the young girl burn off those extra calories from the candy bar. I really don't see the issue here.
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I concur and have followed your lead Allyn. Thanks for bringing this great organization to our attention once again, Vince. It works! :)
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In this case, I wish the girl's father were at home. The stepmom is a real piece of work, and I hope she and the grandmother serve the rest of their lives in prison.
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Come on Dan, the article clearly states that this was a STEPMOTHER. Anyone who has every watched Disney knows that a stepmother is not a valid replacement for a mother. These women are inherently EVIL. The only solution is to ban divorce. No divorce means no stepmoms. No stepmoms means no evil. Divorce is evil. End of story.
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@10: As categorically unhumorous as this situation is, if you can't joke about everything, you can't joke about anything. I am sure you laugh at jokes that make fun of situations others would think are sacrosanct as well, and if you are to hold this view, it makes you a simple hypocrite.
14
Some attempts at humor here are so convoluted, satire wrapped in irony packaged in sheer desperation, that the writers are stepping on their own toes trying to be funny. There are indeed some things we would do well NOT to laugh at. And one of them is the death by forced running of a 9 year old child. Maybe you can grow a heart.
15
Not that it would ever happen, but.... doing this would result in every child being born wanted - every male should be sterilized at or before puberty. Then, if a child is wanted, the sterilization procedure reversed.
Yes, vasectomy reversals are not always successful - but my husband had one reversed 22 years ago. He had some discomfort (not like going through labor though), and couldn't have an orgasm for six weeks while the tubes healed (probably having much to do with why these reversals are not always successful), but now he has two kids that resulted from that reversal.
Just think... no men out there making babies they don't even know anything about, or didn't want and are paying child support for, or being married to the mom of the kid.
Every child born wanted.
But it'll never happen.....
Yes, vasectomy reversals are not always successful - but my husband had one reversed 22 years ago. He had some discomfort (not like going through labor though), and couldn't have an orgasm for six weeks while the tubes healed (probably having much to do with why these reversals are not always successful), but now he has two kids that resulted from that reversal.
Just think... no men out there making babies they don't even know anything about, or didn't want and are paying child support for, or being married to the mom of the kid.
Every child born wanted.
But it'll never happen.....
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Do the math: if the grandmother is 46, she became a grandmother at *37*. If she had her son when she was 16, he would have been 21 when he became a father (and vice versa - the older one of them gets the younger the other has to be). Best case scenario there is an 18 yr old parent and a 19 yr old parent, and both of them too young to be having kids.
The stepmom isn't a bio-mom, but she was 18 when this poor girl was born. I doubt the bio-mom was much older, and possibly younger.
So this is a family with a pattern of premature parenting (if you can call it that). That's what happens when you put a Focus on the Family while being utterly hostile to responsible sex education - any secular education at all for that matter - and the kinds of social programs that can help people get out of the economIc trap they're in. If such programs were even allowed to exist in such benighted states.
The stepmom isn't a bio-mom, but she was 18 when this poor girl was born. I doubt the bio-mom was much older, and possibly younger.
So this is a family with a pattern of premature parenting (if you can call it that). That's what happens when you put a Focus on the Family while being utterly hostile to responsible sex education - any secular education at all for that matter - and the kinds of social programs that can help people get out of the economIc trap they're in. If such programs were even allowed to exist in such benighted states.
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@15 Wow. Great plan. NOT.
Are you insane? You do understand that the reason that the majority of people are alive today, most likely including yourself (regardless of the fairy tale your parents fed you), is because sex happens and sometimes children follow...right? What doesn't follow is that being conceived by accident means you will be "unwanted"...
Are you insane? You do understand that the reason that the majority of people are alive today, most likely including yourself (regardless of the fairy tale your parents fed you), is because sex happens and sometimes children follow...right? What doesn't follow is that being conceived by accident means you will be "unwanted"...
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@13, not necessarily. I don't know about the home state of this child, and its custody laws, but many things could have happened to result in the father getting custody. (Remember, it wasn't the custodial, biological father who committed this heinous crime.)
*--Bio-mom could be out of state or overseas--sometimes a court will prevent the parent who is moving away from taking the child with them
*--Bio-mom could have split custody, and this was their week with the child
*--Bio-mom could be deceased
*--Bio-mom could be disabled or very ill
*--Bio-mom could be out of state or overseas--sometimes a court will prevent the parent who is moving away from taking the child with them
*--Bio-mom could have split custody, and this was their week with the child
*--Bio-mom could be deceased
*--Bio-mom could be disabled or very ill
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@ 10 and 13,
The bio mother could be dead. Divorce isn't the only way to end a marriage...if the bio parents were ever married in the first place (most teenage parents don't get married). Also, most custody arrangements are joint nowadays. Usually, mom and dad pass the kid back and forth between them.
p.s. This kid appears to have been visiting granny when she was killed. I don't think you can blame this on the bio parents.
The bio mother could be dead. Divorce isn't the only way to end a marriage...if the bio parents were ever married in the first place (most teenage parents don't get married). Also, most custody arrangements are joint nowadays. Usually, mom and dad pass the kid back and forth between them.
p.s. This kid appears to have been visiting granny when she was killed. I don't think you can blame this on the bio parents.
20
even if instances of child abuse from straight parents were rare, gay people should stll have the right to have kids...bio, adopted, inheirited, whatever. i'm pretty sure that being gay or straight doesnt predict whether youll be a good parent. i get dan's point that these abuse stories seem to counter the arguement of homophobe arguements against gay marriage, but every gay priest pedophile backs it up. and neither one is accurate.
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@15, the same goal could be obtained by sterelizing every woman (but keeping a few eggs in cryogenic banks), so that sex never results in pregnancy. Plus, babies would be made in vitro and grown in artificial wombs, so that no woman would have to go through childbirth.
So there would be no problem. Not even the six-week discomfort your poor husband experimented after the reversal operation. And every child would be born wanted.
Or would it? ;-)
So there would be no problem. Not even the six-week discomfort your poor husband experimented after the reversal operation. And every child would be born wanted.
Or would it? ;-)
22
Chase @16, fuck you. You cannot arbitrarily set an acceptable at which one may have children. My husband and I were 19 when our oldest daughter was born. She is a happy and well adjusted young woman completing her 2nd year of college. I hold a Masters degree in psychology, my husband a Bachelors in information secuity. Our younger children, born when we are 25 and 29, are also doing well, thank you. We have always provided for our children, physically, financially, emotionally.
My mother in law had her first child when she was 16 (which I will agree was very young). By the time she was 23, she had been married, divorced, remarried, and had given birth to 5 children. She was a Grandmother at age 36. She holds a Masters in Nursing, and is a practicing Nurse Practitioner. She is certainly not a statistic, nor are any of her children.
A history of 'premature parenting' as you put it. An over generalization, as I see it.Sadistic behaviour cannot be explained away by the age of the parents. That's just plain bullshit.
My mother in law had her first child when she was 16 (which I will agree was very young). By the time she was 23, she had been married, divorced, remarried, and had given birth to 5 children. She was a Grandmother at age 36. She holds a Masters in Nursing, and is a practicing Nurse Practitioner. She is certainly not a statistic, nor are any of her children.
A history of 'premature parenting' as you put it. An over generalization, as I see it.Sadistic behaviour cannot be explained away by the age of the parents. That's just plain bullshit.
23
Jackdee, we are all insane. It's a matter of functionality. I am a product of failed contraception, and so is my daughter (2% failure rate).
Ankylo... eggs are difficult to harvest from women. Sperm is easy to get from men. Okay, wait until they can shoot some spunk and freeze it. Ya.. it would be great if they could make artificial wombs. It would make the abortion argument moot. Until that happens....
Ankylo... eggs are difficult to harvest from women. Sperm is easy to get from men. Okay, wait until they can shoot some spunk and freeze it. Ya.. it would be great if they could make artificial wombs. It would make the abortion argument moot. Until that happens....
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@23, it isn't that far ahead. Unlike universal vasectomy, it actually is going to happen. And collecting eggs will get easier. Indeed it would make the abortion argument moot (though if I'm not mistaken about certain pro-lifers, I think the argument will migrate to the artifical wombs anyway, in other terms; they'll say artificial wombs are immoral). We can safely wait till that happens.
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Not sure how this tragic story helps your meme. The father was stationed overseas for his job. The suspects are the girl's stepmother and step-grandmother.
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I think those two woman are unfairly accused of murder. It might be negligent homicide or manslaughter, but highly unlikely that their purpose was to kill that girl. Why would they want to kill her? She was admonished for eating candy because she had a health condition and can't have candy. They were not trying to make her dead. And not everyone knows about dehydration and death. There are a lot of dummies.
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@22: That's great that you can cite exceptions from your personal experience. The fact is that they are exceptions. Having children at 18 doesn't make it impossible to go to college or have a successful life - but it indisputably does make it harder. It's no accident that the average age of parents goes up as countries and states become better developed. It's also no accident that children born to underage parents are more likely to suffer from abuse, more likely to turn to crime, and more likely to be underage parents themselves. Remember, having children at 18 is the best case scenario in this story. Are you going to argue that it's wise to have children at 17? 16? 15? Come on.
I'm glad that your family doesn't fit the statistical norms. But try to look outside your own personal experience. Having children at a young age doesn't make people sadistic. But having children at a young age does make it less likely that parents will have an education, will have a stable environment to raise those kids, will be able to make sensible, informed decisions for those kids, and will be emotionally healthy enough to handle the stresses and frustrations that can cause stupid, unfortunate choices like the one that killed this girl. Those are facts - your own experience, different as it is, doesn't change that.
I'm glad that your family doesn't fit the statistical norms. But try to look outside your own personal experience. Having children at a young age doesn't make people sadistic. But having children at a young age does make it less likely that parents will have an education, will have a stable environment to raise those kids, will be able to make sensible, informed decisions for those kids, and will be emotionally healthy enough to handle the stresses and frustrations that can cause stupid, unfortunate choices like the one that killed this girl. Those are facts - your own experience, different as it is, doesn't change that.
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