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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's Day Bondage Date All Kinds of Wrong

Posted by on Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 9:28 AM

So...

Valentine's Day ended badly for Stephanie Pelzner and it's not because she spent part of the afternoon naked and bound with her mouth taped shut in the back of a Subaru. Pelzner, 26, and her boyfriend Nikolas Harbar, 31, were handcuffed and carted off to jail after their kinky stunt sparked a frantic police search in Portland, Oregon, because witnesses feared Pelzner was being kidnapped. Harbar and Pelzner say they were just having a romantic bondage-inspired Valentine's Day date, but Portland officers were turned off.

...punishing bondage fans by slapping the handcuffs on 'em seems a little counterintuitive. And it turns out that Pelzner and Harbar weren't exactly boyfriend-and-girlfriend:

A man and woman arrested Wednesday night in a reported rape turned out to be engaging in consensual bondage sex after meeting through a Craigslist on-line bulletin board. Detective Jim Strovink, Clackamas County sheriff's spokesman, said a homeless woman spotted the couple and called police, believing the bound woman was being raped. When deputies arrived, the couple ran.... The man told deputies he ran because he didn't want his wife to find out.

Letting someone you've just met tie you up... getting tied up in public and alarming passersby... cheating on your wife... running from the police. They're so much wrong here I hardly know where to start.

 

Comments (37) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
The anonymous public adulterous bondage and running from the cops is one forgivable, but a Subaru? That crosses a line.
Posted by DJSauvage on February 15, 2012 at 9:33 AM · Report this
2
Ah, Oregon.
Posted by gloomy gus on February 15, 2012 at 9:35 AM · Report this
GlamB0t 3
"Nine squad cars were tied up for twenty minutes" made me laugh pretty hard for some reason.
Posted by GlamB0t on February 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM · Report this
kim in portland 4
Yikes! Some of us keep our Valentine's Day bondage consensual and honest. And we make our own flirty chocolate desserts too. "Keep Portland Weird" the bumper stickers say. This couple do not seem to be thinking things through and keeping to the motto very well.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on February 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM · Report this
Lance Thrustwell 5
Live by the duct tape, die by the duct tape.
Posted by Lance Thrustwell on February 15, 2012 at 9:40 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 6
Well, gold star for being sex-positive enough to pursue their kinks, I suppose. But failing grade for poor planning and execution. Gah!
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 15, 2012 at 9:43 AM · Report this
Vince 7
When they're bad they're very, very good.
Posted by Vince on February 15, 2012 at 9:43 AM · Report this
SchmuckyTheCat 8
Ethically wrong (adultery), doing it wrong (involving the public), but I fail to see how it is legally wrong. Unintentionally sending the cops on a snark hunt isn't a crime.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on February 15, 2012 at 9:49 AM · Report this
9
@8 they're being charged with public indecency, disorderly conduct and criminal trespass.
Posted by EricaP on February 15, 2012 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 10

Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down

Lock your daddy out of doors
I don't need him nosin' around
Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down
Give me all your love tonight


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0uiY-jDk…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on February 15, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
rob! 11
"Pelzner was spotted in the back of a Subaru Legacy, LIKE this one."

Really, Daily Mail? Is there some corner of this planet that doesn't know what a Subaru Legacy looks like?

Good thing they caught these evildoers, or the cops might have gone off and arrested a University of Nevada-Reno coach or alum.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 15, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
12
The second article is from over three years ago and completely unrelated. Nothing in the articles from yesterday (like this one: http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index…) says anything about adultery.
Posted by pbelamy on February 15, 2012 at 10:08 AM · Report this
13
I dunno sure they caused disorderly conduct but fine them don't arrest them.
Posted by Democrat1234 on February 15, 2012 at 10:10 AM · Report this
14
Ugh. New commenter here. Here's the Oregonian article.
Posted by pbelamy on February 15, 2012 at 10:11 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 15
@8: Snipe hunt.
Posted by Max Solomon on February 15, 2012 at 10:21 AM · Report this
The Max 16
Sounds like the Portlandia PD needs a Safeword.
Posted by The Max on February 15, 2012 at 10:37 AM · Report this
SchmuckyTheCat 17
@15, go ask Alice. Though yes, it's a more common expression.
@9, according to the Oregonian, only disorderly conduct. Maybe Oregon lawmakers have thicker sticks up their ass, but that charge wouldn't fly in Washington.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on February 15, 2012 at 10:47 AM · Report this
Chris in Vancouver WA 18
Wrong, yes. But fun, too.
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on February 15, 2012 at 10:53 AM · Report this
venomlash 19
@15: I found some snark here! Call off the snark hunt!
Posted by venomlash on February 15, 2012 at 10:56 AM · Report this
20
I'm sure there's a lesson in this for them, but it's not entirely clear which lesson. I wonder how the happy couple is feeling now. (Hmmm.... couldn't this be part of the plot for a sex-/kink-positive romantic comedy, starring Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock?)
Posted by ankylosaur on February 15, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report this
21
You're doing it wrong.
Posted by Squirly on February 15, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 22
@2: "Ah, Oregon."

I'd blame Craigslist, more.

@20: Probably pretty unhappy since his wife's about to find out.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 15, 2012 at 11:07 AM · Report this
AFinch 23
Hilarious...until they get stuck with the sex offender label. Here's hoping this gets plead down/away and expunged once they get in front of a judge.
Posted by AFinch on February 15, 2012 at 11:20 AM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 24
@11 Also, the license plate sayd CRUISEWOLF.

What a cruisewolf might look like.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on February 15, 2012 at 11:25 AM · Report this
25
@19: Careful there...that Snark might be a Boojum, you see...
Posted by avast2006 on February 15, 2012 at 12:25 PM · Report this
26
As #12 pointed out, the second story is unrelated to the first story and happened back in '08.
Posted by virgy on February 15, 2012 at 12:26 PM · Report this
27
PLUS, she didn't use a seatbelt.

But hey, at least they listened to one part of your advice, Dan: they fucked first.
Posted by fubarista on February 15, 2012 at 12:28 PM · Report this
Geni 28
Involving the public is nonconsensual. Keep your play to those who choose to see it. People are morons.
Posted by Geni on February 15, 2012 at 1:19 PM · Report this
29
@28
I agree.

And I'd also like to thank the Portland police for NOT shooting the guy role-playing as a rapist in public. Thank you!

For everyone else, please remember to construct your scenes in such a way that the words "ended in a hail of gunfire" would NOT be included should you make the evening news.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on February 15, 2012 at 1:32 PM · Report this
30
They're not charged with a sex crime; they're charged with disorderly conduct. Although Criminally Negligent Idiocy might be a more fitting charged.
Posted by clashfan on February 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 31
@26: Whoops.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 15, 2012 at 1:50 PM · Report this
BEG 32
I just need a big rubber stamp to mark STUPID across their foreheads and be done with it.

*facepalm*
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on February 15, 2012 at 1:59 PM · Report this
AFinch 33
@30 - oops!
Posted by AFinch on February 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM · Report this
venomlash 34
@25: GOD DAMMIT, I just spent 100 minutes in a fossil lab and the whole time, those few lines from "The Hunting of the Snark" kept running back and forth through my head.
Posted by venomlash on February 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM · Report this
Nyckname 35
Twenty years ago I knew someone who'd been kicked out of most of the best hotels in Orange County, Calif., for doing kidnap scenes in them. I've always expected to hear about him being shot while trying it outside someplace.
Posted by Nyckname on February 15, 2012 at 2:05 PM · Report this
36
"veiwed by a homeless man who called the police."

How? (but good for him BTW)

do the homeless now have cellphones...cuz I'm sure theres no more payphones
Posted by marking on February 15, 2012 at 5:40 PM · Report this
37
Apparently these folks are known around town. Comics Alliance linked to the following webcomic which is supposedly about the same couple:

http://www.meencomics.com/comic/trixie-c…

The comments there also indicate they had an I, Anonymous written about them...
Posted by ducki3x on February 19, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report this

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