Happy Valentine's Day, Lovers!: To start things off, here's a sweet story about Justin Bieber making a six-year-old girl's dream come true. Like Bieber or not, those photos are fucking adorable.

Tom Cruise Is Pissed: Here's a report about a scientology "child labor camp" in the middle of suburban Australia.

Rick Santorum Was in Tacoma Yesterday: And Paul Constant has the full report, which includes a Santorum glitter bombing. "He had glitter cascading down the front of his sweater vest, all down his back, through his hair, and his giant forehead shone in the flashes of photographs like Ke$ha had just vomited on it."

While Santorum Was in Town: Washington legalized gay marriage! And now this funny Dos Equis ad parody is making the rounds.

Want to See the Bathtub Whitney Houston Was Found in Minutes After They Removed Her Body?: Here you go. (You fucking morbid weirdo.)

This Is Why You Don't Play With Guns, People: A 20-year-old woman was killed at a party in Redmond after a stray bullet hit her in the neck.

More Bad Gun-Related News: The 22-year-old man who was shot outside a Sodo nightclub on Saturday night has died. This is the second fatal shooting outside a Sodo club in two weeks.

More Amanda Knox News: As expected, prosecutors are asking the court to reinstate Knox's murder conviction.

This Can't Be Good: Israel is going to "settle the score" after the bombing in Bangkok, which injured four people.

The Burning Man Festival Is in Danger: Um... kind of? Tickets went to scalpers instead of festival veterans and now Burning Man organizers are suffering from insomnia or something.

Festivalgoers from around the country are distressed about recent problems that left thousands of veteran Burners, as festival attendees are called, without tickets to the August event and might have landed tickets in the hands of scalpers.

“This has me waking up at night terrified,” said Marian Goodell, a founding board member and spokeswoman for Black Rock City, the company that organizes Burning Man in the desert outside Gerlach, Nev. “It is the end of Burning Man if we don’t solve this.”

Now tickets that were bought for between $240-$390 are showing up on ticket resale sites for $5,000 a pop. Yikes! Who the fuck would pay $5,000 for a ticket to Burning Man? Now a BM veteran (heh, BM) says "This is a Burning Man cataclysm."

I'm sorry, I can't take that story seriously anymore. Look! Puppies!

Look at These Awesome Dogs: The 136th annual Westminster Kennel Club dog show was in New York yesterday. Martha Stewart even competed with her magic fluffy monster of a dog!

Now, in honor of Valentine's Day, here's a love song from the Smothers Brothers: