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Monday, February 13, 2012

Events Seattle FaerieCon 2012: A Retrospective

Posted by Kelly O on Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Last weekend, Seattle's first-ever Faerie convention landed, most appropriately, at the Renaissance hotel. I know: You had no idea! And now you're weeping tiny FernGully™ tears because you missed out on a lobby's worth of horned whimsy and dyed animal pelts juxtaposed with super-practical advice like, "ESMERALDA, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY DO NOT PLAY ON THE ESCALATORS IN YOUR GOSSAMER GOWN?!!"

Kelly O

Overheard at FaerieCon 2012: "You look like a goddess!"
"I'm not a goddess, I'm a faerie, and I'm not into guys who can't tell the difference."

No worries: We arrived just in time to catch the faerie costume competition—amaaazing!—and watch a woodland faerie pop his magical knee out of joint by prancing too hard (seriously). More Kelly O photos and *exclusive* faerie interviews with Cienna Madrid after the jump.

Jade the Unicorn, "Best Mythical Creature" costume winner: "I constructed my outfit out of a cherry blossom dress, wedding-dress appliques, and a hot glue gun. It took me about 20 hours," says the Whidbey Island resident. "I wanted to twist the bar, take a creature that was pure of heart and turn her into a sassy slut without showing up in a miniskirt. There's this misconception that unicorns will only go to those who are pure of heart and that's just not true—we're looking for love just like everyone else."

"A friend did this to my face with a fishnet stocking. I'm a water faerie, I think." Logan, reluctant water faerie, winner of "Best Shadow Dancer" costume.

"It's hard, as a unicorn, finding dates—especially guys that are taller than me," says Jade. "Tack on the horn and they get jealous."

"I wanted to be a hip, faerie raver cat that can pee standing up," says MadCat, winner of the "Most Edible" category. "Now I have to figure out which judge voted me 'most edible.' Meow!"

"I got bored with faeries," says Amberlina, the super slug with detachable slime trail. What makes her super? "I am immune to sodium and I can scoot at super speeds!" Her snail shell is made out of paper mache formed around a coiled pool noodle, chicken wire, and the top of a rotisserie chicken lid.

"Why didn't the lobsters share?" asks Dave, the court jester who can't sing or juggle or dance. "Because they're shellfish!" Dave also goes for bunny play (i.e. dressing up in bunny costumes and playing).

"I am a perky goth," says Rashe, the self-acclaimed resident goth of West Seattle who is not a faerie but supports the faerie movement. "I also make mailboxes into backpack-chairs. For fun."

Behold the power of a Sugarplum Faerie, Earth Goddess Faerie, and Evil Queen Faerie. "You need to have a fun, free, and open spirit in order to belong here," the faeries council us. "Alcohol helps, too. And shiny things. Did we mention alcohol?"
(Faerie snack of choice: Burger and fries.)

PS. This is what the bathroom line at a faerie convention looks like.

"I'm a closet faerie," says a raverish closet faerie with cute apprentice in tow.

In the basement of the Renaissance, where faerie vendors are hawking their crystal-blitzed wares, a former male-stripper-turned-traveling-faerie-salesman corners us:
"My dad always said, 'Moon, do you know what you'll never be able to do?'" says Moon, who is now in the business of selling lumbar-friendly faerie chairs while still maintaining a set of incredibly hairless abs.
Give birth? We ask.
Live under a mushroom?
Make love to a centaur?
Persuade us to invest in a $70 lumbar-friendly faerie chair? What?!!
"Love people too much."

Fair enough. Goodnight, Moon.

all photos Kelly O

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Comments (22) RSS

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Did the radical faeries represent?

Posted by emma's bee on February 13, 2012 at 4:34 PM

my sympathy embarrassment is at a near crippling level.

Posted by alithea on February 13, 2012 at 4:43 PM

also, damn you HUMP! film "mythical proportions" for ruining centaurs and other human/horse-like hybrids for me!!

Posted by alithea on February 13, 2012 at 4:56 PM

anyone else notice, in Rashe-the-perky-goth's photo that there's a wizard asleep on a luggage rack, and also a couple making out by the bathrooms?

Posted by Kelly O on February 13, 2012 at 4:58 PM

@2 You think this is bad? It has NOTHING on "BronyCon".

http://gawker.com/5874047/here-are-some-…

Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on February 13, 2012 at 5:02 PM

sdkfhsdkfh! i didnt notice that but I DO NOW. also rashe looks like angsty teen carrot top.

Posted by alithea on February 13, 2012 at 5:03 PM

I am judgmentally horrified by this EXCEPT the snail is awesome.

Posted by leek on February 13, 2012 at 5:14 PM

@4, I was hoping that that was a two-headed fairy.

Posted by Simone on February 13, 2012 at 5:17 PM

I'd go with the eye roll but they seem to be having too damn much fun to give a shit what anyone thinks.

And they don't pelt visitors with beer bottles like that other dress-up group you visited, Kelly O. The juggalos or boos. The loud ones.

Posted by kate r

on February 13, 2012 at 5:18 PM

So I'm guessing that the Faerie-NOT-Goddess was the sadly unmythical, douche-water fairy.

Posted by thatsnotright on February 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM

I wasn't aware Seattle had such a vibrant faerie scene, and I'm not sure I'd really want to spend any time in it, but I'm happy to learn of its existence all the same, and not just because it produces unicorn lingerie.

Posted by Zebes

on February 13, 2012 at 5:43 PM

My daughter and ex attended this: http://www.fairycongress.com/ a couple times. They had a good time.

Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings

on February 13, 2012 at 5:56 PM

really though; "The Fairy Trail" by Till Gerhard looks like a pretty rad doc in the works.

Posted by porchedge on February 13, 2012 at 5:56 PM

The question, "Who would buy a lumbar support chair at a faerie convention?" is making me restless. Who bought them? How many were sold? Are they magic(k)? The devil is in the details.

Posted by thatsnotright on February 13, 2012 at 5:57 PM

Fucking hipster unicorns and their precious little horn caps.
I could definately catch some enchanted forest fever for that snail though.

Posted by knobtheunicorn on February 13, 2012 at 6:30 PM

I want to inflict pain on all of them.

Posted by Metronomic on February 13, 2012 at 7:13 PM

Always wondered what Jade the Unicorn was doing since they closed the Lusty Lady...

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on February 13, 2012 at 7:57 PM

Kate r, you are absolutely correct, we don't give a half a damn what other people think about our bizarre and uber-nerdy faerie festival. An amazingly good time was had by all, with some of the very best people you could hope to hang out with. Snark at us all you want folks, if you knew the half of what goes on at these events you'd be green with envy. Of course, then you'd fit in pretty well!

Posted by Athonwy on February 13, 2012 at 9:46 PM

Mawwiage is a holly bough between one faerie and any number of other fairies.

Until they get bored, that is.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on February 13, 2012 at 9:59 PM

dorky maybe, but hey, to each his own. i say good for them for having something they truly enjoy and finding their people to enjoy it with. some people never do. and i'm sure there are some things others are into that would have them rolling their eyes as well, so have at it. things are bright in their little corner of the world.

Posted by mr. herriman on February 14, 2012 at 8:28 AM

No. What? ...No.

Posted by Knat on February 14, 2012 at 11:24 AM

@5, Dude, those Brony pictures are so misleading. I was there and it was cheap, dirty and meaningless. There were maybe 10 people in costume and the pics look busy because the entire thing was in a hallway.

Posted by Fenrox on February 15, 2012 at 10:36 AM