Slog
News & ArtsFriday, February 10, 2012
Gay Marriage "Holy Russia suffered great things," by Republican Representative Bill Hinkle
Posted by Eli Sanders on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Republican Representative Bill Hinkle of Cle Elum wears a bow tie, which means he KNOWS what's going to happen when gay marriage becomes law: exactly what happened to "Holy Russia" when "Holy Russia" stopped considering itself holy. Watch out!
Also, Bill Hinkle is not a gluttonous American, "even though I may look like one," which means you are not necessarily gay even though you might or might not say you are. Think about it.
1
Ass wipe. Throughout this logically barren speech, he still didn't explain why a gay couple living together WITHOUT marriage is better than a gay couple living IN marriage.
2
I'm pretty sure he is in fact a gluttonous American - he's no Lee Raymond but there's definitely a paunch - but I don't know exactly what that means for his clearly shaky grasp of synecdoche. Maybe all the grease on his fingers makes it hard to hold on to a metaphor. Maybe he's secretly a clown. His ties suggest the latter is all too likely.
3
So, does that mean Napoleon's army is going to come through, seige for a while, then freeze to death? Or is he upset that the batraks in Yakima will be getting enough to eat? I'm having trouble following this history lesson.
4
Jesus fucking Christ! Does he have the slightest idea what life was like in Russia when they called themselves "Holy Russia"? Brutal serfdom, the knout, pogroms, and so much more? Is that the golden age he hearkens back to? Holy shit, I say. Unbelievable.
5
Yesterday was a Parade of Republican Assholes. I think a SLOG poll is in order so we can decide, once in for all, who was the biggest asshat of the day. Was it the Jack in the Box guy? The representative that quoted Leviticus? How about good ol' Rodne who threatened to take his ball and go home if the vote didn't go the way he wanted? How about Ms. I Love My Neighbors so Long as They Don't Have Equal Rights? Or the dude someone in the SLOG comments nicknamed "Lispy Bear"? So many to choose from!
10
@ 9, it was Rep. Jim McCune from Graham, he starts speaking around the 1 hour 10 minute mark. It was Slog commentator The CHZA who used "Lispy Bear", which made me giggle the rest of the day.
13
Arrgghh.
So ... being gay is exactly like being an unrestrained overeater. Because both mean being ruled by their passions.
Logic fail.
So ... being gay is exactly like being an unrestrained overeater. Because both mean being ruled by their passions.
Logic fail.
14
The likelihood of someone trotting out that "greatest country in the world" trope is inversely proportional to the likelihood of them actually having been to any others.
15
@13, no, logic win. Homophobes desperately want to have gay sex, and the only way they can restrain themselves from going all Haggard on the nearest male prostitute is to keep ramping up the homophobia. They are exactly like drug addicts in an unattended pharmacy, or gluttons in front of a wall of Twinkies. They can't help themselves; and they honestly believe that if Gay was OK then everyone would immediately Go Gay. Because they know they would.
19
@13: Having gay sex because you're gay is like eating food that you like as opposed to food you don't. So long as you keep your diet reasonably healthy and wrap your and/or your partner's shaft, you're okay.
I suppose in this tortured food-sex analogy, asphyxiation play would be like fugu; if it's not done right, you might die. Strange things occur to me at night.
I suppose in this tortured food-sex analogy, asphyxiation play would be like fugu; if it's not done right, you might die. Strange things occur to me at night.
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