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News & ArtsThursday, February 9, 2012
Gay Marriage State Legislator Testifies That His Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage Came to Him from a Commercial for Jack in the Box
Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 4:59 PM
This guy is such a tool there's no point in embedding his entire stupid testimony, but here's a flavor of it.
The intellectual crux of the Republican party, ladies and gentlemen.
The Jack in the Box commercial proving that same-sex marriage is wrong is after the jump.
2
I'm pretty sure Jack is Transgender.
If it weren't for the Styrofoam injections, he'd revert to being she.
If it weren't for the Styrofoam injections, he'd revert to being she.
4
I can think of a whole rash of people I'd just as soon my loved ones not marry- racists, social conservatives, venture capitalists, etc. I can't think of a single reason why my bias against those groups of people should play a deciding role in legislating who my loved ones actually marry, and whether or not those groups- much as I sort of generally don't like them- have access to the full spectrum of legal rights which I enjoy as a person who is in a "traditional" marriage.
5
Because nobody in the history of heterosexual marriage has ever married someone of whom their mother disapproved.
And that should be written into law.
And that should be written into law.
6
I just don't have the time to waste watching teh stupid, but seriously? THIS is this numbnut's excuse for opposing Marriage Equality?!?
And nobody on the floor of the House actually had the temerity to laugh out loud?
And nobody on the floor of the House actually had the temerity to laugh out loud?
8
Oh, it's the whole "If gay people can marry than a guy can marry bacon" argument.
He' convinced me. I've been wrong all these years. Where do I sign the petition?
He' convinced me. I've been wrong all these years. Where do I sign the petition?
9
And here, when I saw that ad on TV, I thought its entire purpose was to show the "soon people will be marrying their toasters!" arguers just how fucking stupid they are.
"Conservatives" really don't get satire. Or humor.
"Conservatives" really don't get satire. Or humor.
11
@9 - Seconded. It's so clearly lampooning that whole 'slippery slope' hysteria.
I'm actually kinda embarrassed for this guy... Erm, did you think Jack-in-the-Box was SERIOUSLY making a statement about same-sex marriage? You DID?!!?
Oh honey...
I'm actually kinda embarrassed for this guy... Erm, did you think Jack-in-the-Box was SERIOUSLY making a statement about same-sex marriage? You DID?!!?
Oh honey...
12
@11 "Oh honey..."
I KNOW, RIGHT?
When I seek guidance in my moral, spiritual and legislative decisions, I look to the wisdom of a fast-food chain, whose mascot is a guy with a giant Styrofoam ball for a head. This seems logical. And sane.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
When I seek guidance in my moral, spiritual and legislative decisions, I look to the wisdom of a fast-food chain, whose mascot is a guy with a giant Styrofoam ball for a head. This seems logical. And sane.
13
I look forward to the day that bacon can voice their consent to be married and be found to have a clear understanding of what their consent will mean...
...although, in an age of sentient bacon, breakfast might become a little weird.
...although, in an age of sentient bacon, breakfast might become a little weird.
15
Apropos of nothing, Hargrove reminds me of Howard Hesseman.
Howard Hesseman has made me laugh a lot over the years.
Howard Hesseman has made me laugh a lot over the years.
17
This asshat also made a point to say that he has been married and never divorced, and the same for his brothers and sisters, but he has had two brothers in law or step brothers or something that had AIDS, so this is a very personal issue for him.
Because, you know, gay = AIDS.
Because, you know, gay = AIDS.
18
A guy I went to school with (Kevin Parker) who is a state rep for Spokane mentioned that he is opposed to the bill as it would force churches to marry gay couples. Yep! And for the record I took two classes with Mr. Parker back in the day and that comment is actually somewhat coherent for the little bigot. So to hear a Jack in the Box commercial being used by these idiots is really not shocking at all.
19
Anyone else see that Toyota commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9L-8372A…
I like how the guy is like "Eh, I could get into that" about the couch o' dudes. Of course, everyone who saw this commercial is now bi-sexual.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9L-8372A…
I like how the guy is like "Eh, I could get into that" about the couch o' dudes. Of course, everyone who saw this commercial is now bi-sexual.
21
@14: god I so want to go to a wedding where "you may now eat the bride" ends the ceremony. Better yet if they film the eating. (Hump! I smell an award winning Hump! A take-off on the commercial, w/a pair of brides and ending in a massive, exploding orgasm munch-off.)
22
Hold it. If he's marrying bacon, why is the bride a bacon cheeseburger? Too tough for them to be consistently on message for thirty damn seconds?
This ad is bound to immanentize THE BACONBURGPOCALYPSE. And then where will we be, hmm?
This ad is bound to immanentize THE BACONBURGPOCALYPSE. And then where will we be, hmm?
23
Speaking of commercials, I'm seeing Rick Santorum ads in the column off to the right. Santorum ads on SLOG? That's a good waste of SuperPAC funds.
24
Dear Mark Hargrove, how would you feel if your daughter told you that she was getting married to Newt Gingrich?
25
Imagine the tension if the guy in the commercial had said, Mom, actually it's not a white girl. In that one second, a lot of people, including me, would realize that the mom was realizing that it's NOT a real for marriage for a perfectly normal young white man to marry a, well, you know.
26
P.S. It's pretty sad when even Jack in the Box commercials are too highbrow for some legislators to get the ironic point of view.
27
Sorry gay people, you can't get married - this guy saw a stirring fast food commercial. Maybe if you're lucky though Wendy's will put out an effective rebuttal at some point and win him over.
32
Mark Hargrove is a very insightful and intelligent patriot. I heard him on John Carlson's show talking about this very subject, and I wish there were more hard traditionalists who would resist the homosexualization of Washington, for it is the most crucial step towards Marxist Fascist tyrannt.
34
May the bacon was from a boy pig, making this a man on man-bacon marriage?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2…
39
@19- Yeah, I was surprised there was no backlash about that. So Toyota commercial, Jack In The Box baconsexual ad, Madonna halftime show...gayest Superbowl ever?
40
As an avowed Xtianist, shouldn't he be railing against the promotion of bacon (pork), when the Bible clearly prohibits its consumption?
I guess if bacon-marrying is allowed, there won't be much oral sex going on.
I guess if bacon-marrying is allowed, there won't be much oral sex going on.
44
*head desk*
God DAMN you, Geoff Simpson. It's YOUR fault this clueless fuckstick is sitting in YOUR seat in the 47th. God DAMN it. (In case you can't tell, I'm in the 47th, and Geoff managed to get himself embroiled in some ugly accusations during his divorce, and lost his seat. Geoff was a good legislator. I make no claims about his ability as a husband.) So now I'm stuck with THIS asshole representing me. This asshole, who doesn't even see the irony of trying to make an argument about something mostly condemned in Leviticus based on a BACON CHEESEBURGER. Leviticus had some pretty pointed things to say about putting cheese on your burger, not to mention bacon on anything. But I don't hear him condemning THAT.
God, I am so embarrassed for my district right now.
God DAMN you, Geoff Simpson. It's YOUR fault this clueless fuckstick is sitting in YOUR seat in the 47th. God DAMN it. (In case you can't tell, I'm in the 47th, and Geoff managed to get himself embroiled in some ugly accusations during his divorce, and lost his seat. Geoff was a good legislator. I make no claims about his ability as a husband.) So now I'm stuck with THIS asshole representing me. This asshole, who doesn't even see the irony of trying to make an argument about something mostly condemned in Leviticus based on a BACON CHEESEBURGER. Leviticus had some pretty pointed things to say about putting cheese on your burger, not to mention bacon on anything. But I don't hear him condemning THAT.
God, I am so embarrassed for my district right now.
45
(And even the PTA basically concluded that Hargrove lost a few tiles on re-entry to earth orbit after their endorsement interview with him. The man is not the sharpest crayon in the box.)
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