This is not a happy crowd. One of Romney's sons, Tagg or Bagg or Butt or Padd or something, just introduced Mitt Romney. He doesn't look happy, either. He's doing the same "thanks, guys" introduction he gets when he has a lot of applause, only there's not as much applause. "The race is too close to call...but I'm confident we'll come in number one or number two," he says. "This was a good night for Rick Santorum...but I expect to become the nominee with your help." Romney promises "we're going to stand united as a party." He promised that on Saturday, too, when he believed it. Now he's mocking President Obama's convention speech. He says Obama has lost more jobs and lost more homes than any other president in modern American history. "By his own definition, President Obama has failed. We will succeed," Romney says. He's taking Obama's 2008 Denver speech apart piece by piece, saying "President Obama has failed, and we will succeed," as a chorus. But he's not saying how we will succeed.

Romney's line about how "we are here to collect" on Obama's promise that he'd be a one-term president if he didn't improve things is a lot more subdued tonight. He says all his opponents worked in Washington, and he's never worked one day in Washington, making him an outsider. "This is a time for real change in Washington. Fundamental, bold, real change." Romney says, "I led Olympics, I helped lead a state." "My father never graduated from college," Romney said, telling charming stories about his dad's blue-collar origins in a monotone. "In Dad's America, small businesses, entrepreneurs, were encouraged...I refuse to believe that America is just another place on a map with a flag." He says "we know we can bring this country back..let's fight for the America we love, because we believe in America and its founding principles." And that was it.

Wow. Who would have thought the most believable emotion to come out of Willard Romney would be dejected lassitude? That was a notably pathetic speech, and most of his speeches are kind of pathetic. Now the Twitterspheres are alive with news that just after his speech, someone tried to glitter-bomb Romney. That's a pretty dumb idea; Romney has Secret Service protection now. The would-be glitter-bomber is now in a side room being questioned by Secret Service agents, probably having almost as terrible a night as Mitt Romney.