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Monday, February 6, 2012

Teh Internets Gmail Chat Spam

Posted by Dominic Holden on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 12:12 PM

Gmail spam chats have bombarded me lately. Today I had this chat with a ladybot:

tastymellisa2: hey you

me: hello

tastymellisa2: hey i've been sitting around sooo bored and figured i'd say hii.. hope i didn't bother u

there's like no one around to talk to anymore... 25/female here how bout u??

me: i am a 34 year old gay man

tastymellisa2: ah cool so whats up????

me: working
it

tastymellisa2: lts so lame on here now i can't stand it

me: i know, right?!!!

tastymellisa2: welll l got an idea if u wanna have sum fun!!! i was gonna get on my cam and "play around" a lil u should cumm join ;)

me: brilliant!

tastymellisa2: i found this awesome sitethat is just like facebook but w/o the stupid kids... wanna see???

me: i'm sooo into that, as a gay man, it's my ult fantasy.

tastymellisa2: it only takes asecond to signup and it's 100% free 2!!! [redacted] just click the 'join FREE" at the top of thepage
after u signup u'll be allgood and u can join my private chat and tell me what 2 do

me: can you make me an egg and sausage scramble?

tastymellisa2: yea u do need a c.c of sum kind but they wiII not charge u a single cent!!!!!!

me: that's good, i hate getting bilked for eggs.

tastymellisa2: l can't wait this is going to be so much fun.. wait till u see what i'm wearing right now lol i think u'll like it;)

me: a hash brown vest?

And yes, Slog is my LiveJournal. (PS — The name has been changed—but not the "tasty" part—to protect the robot's identity.)

Comments (14) RSS

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From NPR recently -

This week, Cornell's Creative Machines Lab posted a video that shows what happens when a robot chats with another robot. The result? A curious conversation that goes from eccentric to existential.

http://www.npr.org/2011/09/01/140124824/…

Posted by gloomy gus on February 6, 2012 at 12:18 PM

Thanks for sharing Dominic. Fuck the haters.

Posted by Renton Mike on February 6, 2012 at 12:21 PM

Ah, reminds me of the good old days when Myspace was the place. So many bored, young cuties wanted to be my friend there.

Posted by Matt from Denver on February 6, 2012 at 12:22 PM

I'd definitely fork over my credit card number if I could see someone wearing a hashbrown vest.

Posted by TVDinner

on February 6, 2012 at 12:25 PM

Me too, but only if that was all they were wearing and they then sexily doused themselves with Tabasco.

Posted by leek on February 6, 2012 at 12:34 PM

That's "doused," btw, not "douched." ALTHOUGH I would also pay money to see Ann Coulter douche with Tabasco.

Posted by leek on February 6, 2012 at 12:36 PM

I'm gay, but I would totally eat a hash brown vest off a hot young lady, because HASH BROWNS.

Posted by very bad homo on February 6, 2012 at 12:46 PM

Gloomy @1: After reading the chat-bot transcript, Siegel and Lipson sounded like chatbots.

Also, even chatbots are looking for unicorns.

Posted by LMcGuff

on February 6, 2012 at 12:55 PM

That chat is how Ron Paul has recruited half his followers. If the mesh of the hash brown vest is loose enough you can see pancakes, I'm in.

Posted by bedipped on February 6, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I got this exact same script thrown at me a couple of weeks ago. Chatbots are highly resistant to the good news about Jesus.

Posted by superjivus on February 6, 2012 at 1:06 PM

This made my day.

Posted by Grant Brissey

on February 6, 2012 at 2:11 PM

this is my favorite thing of the day on the internet. thanks.

Posted by philosophy school dropout on February 6, 2012 at 3:24 PM

Hey Dominic, I'm the Community Manager for Gmail. I'm sorry you've been having trouble with spam chat bots... although I'm glad this one was good for a laugh! I'm going to pass this along to our team, and see if there's anything additional we can do to deter the ladybots so you don't have to beat them off with a stick.

Posted by Sarah Price