Slog
News & ArtsSunday, February 5, 2012
Sports / Drunk You Guys, the Superbowl Is Happening Right Now!
Posted by Grant Brissey on Sun, Feb 5, 2012 at 3:43 PM
It's the Seattle Supersonics vs. the Philadelphia Flyers! Who's gonna win it? How many chicken wings have you eaten? On a scale 1-10, how drunk are you? Who's calling in sick tomorrow?
1
As Fnarf said recently in regard to another matter entirely: WILL YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE FUCK THAT WAS GIVEN.
8
I haven't had anything to drink, but I'm watching a documentary about Townes Van Zandt, which kind of makes up for it. Is the game on?
12
Josh Powell just murdered his two boys and killed himself in a fiery explosion. Sort of puts a damper on my Super Bowl experience.
http://www.q13fox.com/news/kcpq-fiery-ex…
http://www.q13fox.com/news/kcpq-fiery-ex…
14
@12, good lord, that's a horrible story. So many ruined lives.
So I turned the thing on, and Madge was singing with a big hunk of her hair zipped into the front of her garment. What the hell was that?
So I turned the thing on, and Madge was singing with a big hunk of her hair zipped into the front of her garment. What the hell was that?
19
Speaking of inebriates, those Budweiser "Prohibition is Over" ads...they don't seem to ring the right note. Keep thinking of people killed by drunk drivers (was it less under Prohibition? )
21
How can we watch the Super Bowl when the NV GOP is still counting returns from a very small turnout caucus which finished Saturday morning?
What a bunch of Mormons, err, I mean Morons
What a bunch of Mormons, err, I mean Morons
22
Recently,
while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard,
my neighbors stopped to chat
as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation,
I asked their little girl what she wanted to be
when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents,
(liberals, I should add)
were standing there.
I asked her,
"If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents Beamed with Pride!
"Wow...what a worthy goal!"
I said.
"But you don't have to wait
until you're President to do that!"
I told her.
"What do you mean?"
she replied.
I told her,
"You can come over to my house
and mow the lawn,
pull weeds, and
trim my hedge.
And I'll pay you $50.
Then you can go over to the grocery store
where the homeless guy hangs out,
and you can give him the $50."
She thought that over for a few seconds,
then she looked me straight in the eye
and asked,
"Why doesn't the homeless guy come over
and do the work,
and you can just pay him
the $50?"
I said, " Welcome to the Republican Party."
while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard,
my neighbors stopped to chat
as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation,
I asked their little girl what she wanted to be
when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents,
(liberals, I should add)
were standing there.
I asked her,
"If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents Beamed with Pride!
"Wow...what a worthy goal!"
I said.
"But you don't have to wait
until you're President to do that!"
I told her.
"What do you mean?"
she replied.
I told her,
"You can come over to my house
and mow the lawn,
pull weeds, and
trim my hedge.
And I'll pay you $50.
Then you can go over to the grocery store
where the homeless guy hangs out,
and you can give him the $50."
She thought that over for a few seconds,
then she looked me straight in the eye
and asked,
"Why doesn't the homeless guy come over
and do the work,
and you can just pay him
the $50?"
I said, " Welcome to the Republican Party."
23
I think it was awfully nice of the parents to let their little girl around the troll @22. I mean, as long as they were there and things were supervised and all.
But, as a follow up, they probably should have a talk with her about "stranger danger", and how she shouldn't speak with him if she encounters him solo.
As for Madonna, I thought she was just fine. She's older than me, after all.
But, as a follow up, they probably should have a talk with her about "stranger danger", and how she shouldn't speak with him if she encounters him solo.
As for Madonna, I thought she was just fine. She's older than me, after all.
24
I've been spending the day watching RuPaul's Drag Race and A List Dallas....
A vastly more productive waste of time than football.
A vastly more productive waste of time than football.
25
i got back from an epic day at Crystal to see the last 2 minutes. and i LIKE amurkin football. but Crystal had 360 views today: Rainier (obs), St. Helens, Adams, Stuart, Glacier, Baker, and the Olympics.
26
I watched Carol Burnett and the Facts of Life on my laptop while the guy texted me the score periodically. Apparently it went well.
27
You people need to hire real sports writers. Not every person on the left hates sports like the stereotype says.
29
Every year it's "Hey everyone, look how much of a fuck we don't give about the Superbowl!" tossed in with some mismatched sports terms and teams.
30
@22
Responding to you is a bad idea. But I think one answer is that you would pull out your gun and shoot him in the face if he came up to your door and asked for work. Or, perhaps more likely, you'd call the cops while hiding behind your couch.
Responding to you is a bad idea. But I think one answer is that you would pull out your gun and shoot him in the face if he came up to your door and asked for work. Or, perhaps more likely, you'd call the cops while hiding behind your couch.
31
That was the weirdest Super Bowl in years. The first score was a safety that shouldn't have happened. And the final score was a touchdown by a dude that didn't really want to score. Just weird.
32
Oh come now, Troll. Vulgarisms are one thing, but whatever perversion you are implying by having that poor child "trim your hedge" - let alone on a weekly basis - is simply beyond the pale.
33
@31: That was a very weird touchdown. It's as if a career's worth of muscle memory forced him unwilling into the endzone. I kept expecting a flag to be thrown: "Unintentional Scoring" or "Insufficient Celebration". The Pats dropped three completely catchable long passes in the last 2 minutes. not the stuff championships are made of.
35
The sun was nice and I was outside except for the hour that I spent at costco eating their sample snacks. That was as close to the supperbowl as I got. I even skipped the chicken wings samples.
To all those who did watch it I hope it didn't disappoint.
To all those who did watch it I hope it didn't disappoint.
36
Troll, admitting that you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery. Maybe this sick interlude with this highly theoretical little girl is just what you needed to wake you up.
38
@9, ha! Good one.
@25, I miss that....
@31, 33, that was the right call to let him score, and he should have fallen down short of the end zone. The replay really shows the conflict--he knew better but couldn't stop himself.
@25, I miss that....
@31, 33, that was the right call to let him score, and he should have fallen down short of the end zone. The replay really shows the conflict--he knew better but couldn't stop himself.
40
Football is 'good' because as smarter people than me have pointed out today, where else do you see fully unionized, and highly paid young (mainly african-american) men lionized to such a degree. Honestly, saying otherwise hints at jealousy. One may dislike sports, but keep it to themselves.
A better argument would be, "I'm aware of the game, but due to the high head injury risk and focus away from the higher artistic pursuits, I cannot support it and have chosen not to watch the contest." Hopefully, the alternate activity would be skiing, reading, or something beyond simply watching another tv show.
A better argument would be, "I'm aware of the game, but due to the high head injury risk and focus away from the higher artistic pursuits, I cannot support it and have chosen not to watch the contest." Hopefully, the alternate activity would be skiing, reading, or something beyond simply watching another tv show.
43
I'm not a huge football fan, so Giants vs Patriots was really not enough to get me to watch. If at least one of the teams is likeable, I'm more likely to want to engage.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
The Sunday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (45) RSS