Slog
News & ArtsThursday, February 2, 2012
Chow / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz How Do You Like Your Beans?
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 11:34 AM
- Coffee via Shutterstock
I like my coffee beans medium-roast, though it doesn't seem like something to get all wound up about. But a paper's got to fill pages/use up pixels, right? However, while they surely test-marketed the hell out of it, calling lighter-roasted coffee beans "blonde" seems stupid. Such beans are nowhere near blonde-colored, and it's impossible to know whether they have more fun.
Starbucks chose the term "blonde" because "light" can "infer that something has been removed" or might confuse consumers who think of light coffee as having milk added, a spokeswoman says.
Oh, the poor confused consumer!!!
1
Why did the blonde have trouble using whole beans for her coffee?
Because the little piece of ham kept clogging the grinder.
2
The large amounts of starbucks coffee that my housemates girlfriend brings home from work has re-kindled my consumption of Oregon Chai. It makes any type of coffee happy.
3
drinking the willow blend right now (brewed myself, of course). Not bad for a morning coffee, I like the arabica, but overall too underwhelming for me. I don't care about the "blonde" moniker, but they could've just called it "city roast".
4
There's a perfectly good established vocabulary for discussing coffee roasting.
Starbucks seems to assume that many of their customers are idiots, and maybe they are.
Starbucks seems to assume that many of their customers are idiots, and maybe they are.
5
Oh, I'm so looking forward to the I-like-my-coffee-like-I-like-my-women/men jokes that just have to come out of this thread...
6
Light coffee has more caffiene. It weights more per volume. And, I assume, has more calories.
I get why they don't want to call something that's stronger, heavier, and higher calorie "light." I blame English, for confounding color with weight.
Maybe we need another word for absorbing less visual-spectrum radiation (did you see how hard I had to work not to use "light" in that sentence?). Or for being roasted for a shorter amount of time (Starbucks: Raw).
I get why they don't want to call something that's stronger, heavier, and higher calorie "light." I blame English, for confounding color with weight.
Maybe we need another word for absorbing less visual-spectrum radiation (did you see how hard I had to work not to use "light" in that sentence?). Or for being roasted for a shorter amount of time (Starbucks: Raw).
7
I tried one of the new Blonde roasts, and didn't like it. It tasted vaguely of hay or dried grass. Yuck.
8
@ 4, maybe not idiots, but definitely the kinds of people who aren't too curious to learn more. Their ignorance is why Starbucks has been able to co-opt long-defined names like "macchiato" and apply it to the kind of oversweetend latte that you'd never find in Italy.
9
@4, perfectly-good established vocabularies aren't trademarkable. Starbucks doesn't just want to sell the coffee; they want to own the idea.
@7, I like a grassy note in my coffee. Maybe I'll try it.
@7, I like a grassy note in my coffee. Maybe I'll try it.
10
Not everyone that buys Starbucks lives in Seattle or gives a shit. Saying a coffee is light emplies it has less caffeine, which isn't true. Makes sense to call it something else.
11
You're talking about the same kind of consumers here (I am equating consumers of everything, everywhere) who couldn't READ a can to make sure they were buying Diet Coke, rather than Coca-Cola's limited white arctic cans.
"The poor confused consumer" indeed.
I'm not crazy about "blonde" either though. Couldn't they have called it "pale" instead? According to Wikipedia, "the term "Blonde" for pale beers is popular in Europe - particularly in France, Belgium and the UK," so perhaps that is why they chose to call it that.
"The poor confused consumer" indeed.
I'm not crazy about "blonde" either though. Couldn't they have called it "pale" instead? According to Wikipedia, "the term "Blonde" for pale beers is popular in Europe - particularly in France, Belgium and the UK," so perhaps that is why they chose to call it that.
13
Mr Schultz's coffee company has been in business since 1971...
And only now they're concerned about the stupidity of their customers? Hhmmm...
Maybe I could give a crap if HOWARD SCHULTZ HADN'T SOLD THE SONICS OUT FROM UNDER US.
/rant
And only now they're concerned about the stupidity of their customers? Hhmmm...
Maybe I could give a crap if HOWARD SCHULTZ HADN'T SOLD THE SONICS OUT FROM UNDER US.
/rant
15
@3 The problem is that Starbucks "blonde" isn't any lighter than a Vienna roast. All of their coffee is burnt beyond recognition by design: By burning away the origin characteristics all they're left with are the roast characteristics, so a cup of coffee you buy in January in Seattle will taste exactly the same as a cup of coffee you buy in June in Wisconsin.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
The Sunday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (15) RSS