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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Film "Extremely Tom and Incredibly Hanks"

Posted by David Schmader on Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 1:32 PM

Lindy West smells Oscar™ in this week's Concessions:

When they released the nominations for the 84th Academy Awards (airing February 26 on ABC), I ran-not-walked to the cineplex to watch best-picture nominee Hella Close and Grippa Loud: The Tom Hanks Hamstravaganza Never Forgetstival Brought to You by Fig Newtons™. Because, I'm sorry—a whimsical, feel-good 9/11 drama about an autistic-ish child (NAMED OSKAR—coincidence!?) coming to terms with senseless tragedy and the impenetrable void of death, starring Tom "Fucking" Hanks? That's like if Schindler's List banged Forrest Gump and they had a baby, and then that baby banged every other Oscar movie ever (Jesus, get a grip, baby!), and then that baby had a baby, and then they all had to go on Maury Povich's show to figure out who was the father of the baby's baby ("Maury, I am 98 percent sure I'm NOT that baby's baby's daddy!" —Driving Miss Daisy), and then it turned out that the real father was [SUPER SECRET SPECIAL SURPRISE GUEST] Amelie the whole time!!! Then everyone's divorced parents got back together, everybody ate Fig Newtons (Oskar loves Fig Newtons SO MUCH YOU GUYS), and Extremely Tom and Incredibly Hanks was retroactively awarded every Oscar in every category since the beginning of time. The end.

That's not really the end. Go read the whole thing here.