Slog
News & ArtsMonday, January 30, 2012
1
Damn. Catholics are so fucked up.
Any woman who would go to or take her kids to that church should be declared mentally incompetent and unfit.....
Any woman who would go to or take her kids to that church should be declared mentally incompetent and unfit.....
5
This should probably go for medical conditions as well. Cataracts? Gift from god. Atrial septal defect? It's how god made you. Early stage breast cancer? Don't you dare hack that sucker out, treat it like the character-building (truncated-)life lesson from God it is. mysterious ways, yada yada...
6
[begins]
[Woman emptying trunk of car] I have a busy work day. I make tough calls for my team all day long. So when it comes to my body, I'd rather someone else did the heavy thinking.
[Female voice over] Women for Santorum
[Woman with bicycle] Rick says rape victims should accept what god's given them. So when life gives you rape - make rape-ade!
[Woman speaking to camera] Someone that someone forceably puts into your body is a gift from god.
And no. I won't take the Viking sword out of my head.
[Woman making bed] A baby from rape is a gift from god.
[Another smiling woman] It's never polite to look a rape horse in the mouth.
[Another smiling woman] Rick Santorum believes that even married couples should have limited access to contraception. Oh, finally! Someone who takes away all the worry about when to have kids, or how many.
[Man sitting at desk] Wait, what?
[Female voice over] Rick Santorum. Ladies, don't worry your pretty little heads about nothing.
[ends]
[Woman emptying trunk of car] I have a busy work day. I make tough calls for my team all day long. So when it comes to my body, I'd rather someone else did the heavy thinking.
[Female voice over] Women for Santorum
[Woman with bicycle] Rick says rape victims should accept what god's given them. So when life gives you rape - make rape-ade!
[Woman speaking to camera] Someone that someone forceably puts into your body is a gift from god.
And no. I won't take the Viking sword out of my head.
[Woman making bed] A baby from rape is a gift from god.
[Another smiling woman] It's never polite to look a rape horse in the mouth.
[Another smiling woman] Rick Santorum believes that even married couples should have limited access to contraception. Oh, finally! Someone who takes away all the worry about when to have kids, or how many.
[Man sitting at desk] Wait, what?
[Female voice over] Rick Santorum. Ladies, don't worry your pretty little heads about nothing.
[ends]
7
Ugh. Should be:
[Woman speaking to camera] SomeTHING that someone forceably puts into your body is a gift from god.
[Woman speaking to camera] SomeTHING that someone forceably puts into your body is a gift from god.
8
I agree, the husband at the end was good.
So, the Crohn's disease that has destroyed my intestines and life are a gift from God, huh? Does that mean I shouldn't have surgery to have the diseased portions of my intestines removed?
WWSD?
So, the Crohn's disease that has destroyed my intestines and life are a gift from God, huh? Does that mean I shouldn't have surgery to have the diseased portions of my intestines removed?
WWSD?
11
10
no.
but Danny believes his rectum is a vagina.
every day or so he has a tragic smelly brown miscarriage.
(sometimes green.)
the 'baby' looks just like Danny. every time.
he weeps bitterly.
he and Terry finally adopted.....
no.
but Danny believes his rectum is a vagina.
every day or so he has a tragic smelly brown miscarriage.
(sometimes green.)
the 'baby' looks just like Danny. every time.
he weeps bitterly.
he and Terry finally adopted.....
13
@mitten
Yes, menstruation is murder. Every month for 30-50 years, a female kills one reproductive cell - unless she's holy enough to try everything to make sure that every one of her many cells drowns in sperm. A truly Santorumic woman, if she wants what God wants, won't be afraid of taking turns in parking lots, to gather a fair share of sperm for every one of her eggs.
Of course, anytime a man ejaculates, it kills millions of reproductive cells. That makes men mass-murderers, this senseless holocaust of sperm cells, and all males should be tied up to the electrical chair for this much deadlier sin.
Besides, since God does ask for males to reproduce, males should refrain from ejaculating in a place where all but one sperm cell will be senselessly murdered - namely a woman's vagina. If a truly Santorumic man were to really do the right thing, he would only ejaculate once in his lifetime, and that would be inside a bottle in a reproductive clinic - for subsequent in vitro fecundation would create babies out of more of the holy sperm cells.
Any other behavior from a Santorumic couple is just plain murder on her part, plain mass murder on his.
Yes, menstruation is murder. Every month for 30-50 years, a female kills one reproductive cell - unless she's holy enough to try everything to make sure that every one of her many cells drowns in sperm. A truly Santorumic woman, if she wants what God wants, won't be afraid of taking turns in parking lots, to gather a fair share of sperm for every one of her eggs.
Of course, anytime a man ejaculates, it kills millions of reproductive cells. That makes men mass-murderers, this senseless holocaust of sperm cells, and all males should be tied up to the electrical chair for this much deadlier sin.
Besides, since God does ask for males to reproduce, males should refrain from ejaculating in a place where all but one sperm cell will be senselessly murdered - namely a woman's vagina. If a truly Santorumic man were to really do the right thing, he would only ejaculate once in his lifetime, and that would be inside a bottle in a reproductive clinic - for subsequent in vitro fecundation would create babies out of more of the holy sperm cells.
Any other behavior from a Santorumic couple is just plain murder on her part, plain mass murder on his.
14
@13: My head hurts now. I just take the "be fruitful and multiply" as a directive to have kids someday.
15
One sick, twisted video, and like all pro abortion arguements, depends only on emotion, no intelligent thought or common sense to be applied to abortion . NONE
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