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Thursday, January 26, 2012

News Morning News: Second-Hand Drugs, Moon Fights, and Tiny, Tiny Whale Ears

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Jan 26, 2012 at 7:59 AM

Scorpions for Breakfast, Indeed: President Obama chewed out Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer on an AZ airport tarmac because she is a bigoted, batshit hag (in case you forgot).

February 17: Obama will visit Seattle.

Mooning with Gingrich: Gingrich vows to build a lunar colony and make it the 51st state if elected president, even though colonizing the moon was Lyndon LaRouche's crazy presidential talking point and all other presidential candidates are Hitler.

$50,000: The amount N. Carolina state officials offer to pay $50,000 to people—mostly women and girls—they forcibly sterilized over a period of nearly 50 years.

Tonight's GOP Presidential Debate: Latino themed! Expect the candidates to discuss loving tacos and bombing Cuba.

Will Robinson Better Watch His Back: Voice actor Dick Tufeld, who played the robot from Lost in Space and screamed "Danger, Will Robinson!" 6 bajillion times throughout his life, died on Sunday while watching the NFL playoffs. He was 85.

Feeding "Yard Sale" Drugs to the Elderly: The feds have charged pharmacies in Seattle and Bellingham with harvesting old prescriptions from nursing homes, repackaging them, and then reselling them to other elderly patients at a discount.

#DeathtotheInfidels! The FBI wants to mine your social media networks for early-warning terrorist threats.

Save Whale Ears: Native American groups and conservationists are suing to stop the Navy from using whale-harming sonar of off Northwest coasts.

And finally, an oldie-but-goodie to get your morning started off right:

Comments (21) RSS

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reading numerous headlines about the brewer/obama tarmac meeting and slog has been the only one to fairly portray jan brewer

Posted by peskypoop on January 26, 2012 at 8:07 AM

I have to admit a certain intrigue with the moon as a fifty first state moon base idea. It sounds so bold, so American. And SO expensive!

Posted by Vince on January 26, 2012 at 8:18 AM

I love the moon base idea. It's never gonna happen, but the idea of it makes me tingle.

I have always felt the only way we could colonize anything off planet would be through the formation of private companies in the spirit of the Dutch or English East India Companies. They put up the money and the risk, they get the reward and effectively open up colonization to everyone else.

Posted by Rotten666 on January 26, 2012 at 8:23 AM

Your honor, they're QUEEAH. They're FUCKIN' QUEEAHS.

Posted by pointy on January 26, 2012 at 8:24 AM

@2 Martin Landau is too old. No moon-base for us.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 26, 2012 at 8:25 AM

FUCKIN' WRONG POST. JOKE RUINED.

Posted by pointy on January 26, 2012 at 8:27 AM

@5 moonbaae beta.

Posted by in-frequent on January 26, 2012 at 8:29 AM

lyndon, honey, not linden.

Posted by scary tyler moore

on January 26, 2012 at 8:33 AM

Overheard at the tarmac....
"Excuse me Miss, but I'm trying to get to the Mexican American voters behind you. Also, it would be great if you could your press-on nail out of my Presidential face." -Obama

Posted by GlamB0t on January 26, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Also: If the FBI thinks terrorists are going to use twitter, they should be more ninja about finding said terrorists by searching for #IHeartTerrorism, #Bieber, or #TickTickTickBOOM.

Posted by GlamB0t on January 26, 2012 at 9:00 AM

@Pointy Just reading "queeah" made me laugh.

Posted by meowmeowkitty on January 26, 2012 at 9:08 AM

try living in Arizona with that bigotes, batshit hag - those words aren't even strong enough to characterize that freak-show. Start looking at the articles investigating whether she has been receiving social security payments for her son who is in the State mental hospital for sexual assault.

Posted by jwlsesq on January 26, 2012 at 9:17 AM

@12 Wow. Shades of Pam Roach.

Posted by Vince on January 26, 2012 at 9:21 AM

@8, fixed! And thanks for not accusing me of being Hitler!

Posted by Cienna Madrid on January 26, 2012 at 9:27 AM

I'm sure the only reason Nit Dipswitch is interested in the moon is because, so far, there are no labor unions or child labor laws. I'd be interested in seeing his proposed version of Moon's state constitution.

Posted by zombie eyes on January 26, 2012 at 10:23 AM

The idea of Gingrich making the moon the 51st state is, economically, simply idiotic, and you all should be ashamed for not seeing that.

Posted by Irena on January 26, 2012 at 11:04 AM

Sorry, that was a bit harsh! Don't be ashamed :) But stifle that tingly feeling; Gingrich is manipulating the hell out of you.

Posted by Irena on January 26, 2012 at 11:08 AM

"I felt a little bit like I was being lectured to, and I was a little kid in a classroom, if you will, and he was this wise professor and I was this little kid, and this little kid knows what the problem is and I felt minimized to say the least."

Yeah, and that's because you're a fucking dumb bitch. So sue the smart guy for talking down to your moronic ass.

The most frustrating thing about her bullshit is that I'm sure Obama wanted to throttle her but felt obligated to be polite.

Posted by keshmeshi on January 26, 2012 at 11:40 AM

@17 Wow! I really thought for a second that Moon Base 1 was going to become a state! Thanks for the clarification!

*facepalm*

Posted by Rotten666 on January 26, 2012 at 11:51 AM

Arizona is a messed up place. Not surprised that it produces these crazy awful politicians.

Posted by very bad homo on January 26, 2012 at 12:15 PM

@19 Oh, stop. Aren't those dramatic facepalms getting a bit tired? Not my fault that for a second there you sounded like you wanted to give Newt a blowjob.

Posted by Irena on January 26, 2012 at 3:29 PM