Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, January 18, 2012
Celeb Slog Poll: Would Mark Wahlberg Have Prevented 9/11?
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM
WOW. just, WOW:
In a new interview with Men's Journal, Mark Wahlberg says that world history would have been different had he not made a fortuitous decision to fly to Toronto a week early and thus avoid boarding one of the planes out of Boston that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11th.
"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did," he tells the magazine. "There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'"
Wahlberg has since apologized for the comment but it's too late: We all know what is in his heart. And personally, I'm torn. Micky Ward could've taken those terrorists, no problem. But Dirk Diggler?
This calls for a motherfucking Slog poll.
1
Hello? Are you not missing an important voting category here? To wit: "Mark Wahlberg rocked it in The Perfect Storm and The Fighter, AND he led the Funky Bunch, and you're damn right he would have prevented 9/11!" That's where my vote goes.
3
I don't disagree with #1. However, that doesn't preclude me from *also* agreeing with answer #2 in the poll.
4
Don't underestimate the power of his third nipple. Although the power is probably the power to make asinine statements and not to defeat terrorists.
"This extra nipple is mentioned in the official Marky Mark book which will come out in a few weeks, the one which begins with the sentence 'I wanna dedicate this book to my dick.'" "In the book, he says about the third nipple, 'Bitches like to suck it', but when I ask him about this, he writhes with embarrassment and says he never realised that quotes like that would end up actually being printed. "
"This extra nipple is mentioned in the official Marky Mark book which will come out in a few weeks, the one which begins with the sentence 'I wanna dedicate this book to my dick.'" "In the book, he says about the third nipple, 'Bitches like to suck it', but when I ask him about this, he writhes with embarrassment and says he never realised that quotes like that would end up actually being printed. "
6
Whoa, who knew the host of Antiques Roadshow was such a badass? "Next we'll take a look at the 18th century armoire the Keno brothers have appraised, but first, watch me take down these terrorist biatches."
7
@6 - I think Antiques Roadshow Wahlberg would've been able to prevent 9/11 with his finely tuned powers of segue.
11
@1 Fuck that, where's, "Dirk Diggler would have bludgeoned the hijackers into submission with his fearsome 10" cock."?
12
Mark Wahlberg gets a free pass after those Calvin Klein ads. God bless him! Fucker can say whatever he wants. Those shots were a heavenly gift to straight chicks and gay dudes everywhere.
14
Wahlberg is just engaged in guerilla publicity for his upcoming movie, wherein he plays a time-traveling crime-fighter who journeys through history punching bad guys like John Wilkes Booth and Hitler in the nose, thus averting untold human suffering through the sheer power of his gym-toned biceps. Working title is "History Editor"
15
Of course, NOW if he's on a hijacked plane he's pretty much talked himself into having to save everyone. He'd risk looking like an ass if he didn't.
16
Yeah, he would have fucked the shit outta those terrists.
He needs to do an end-zone dance at the 9/11 memorial, and alert the media beforehand.
He needs to do an end-zone dance at the 9/11 memorial, and alert the media beforehand.
19
dirk diggler was a dummy dick. i will believe in the dick power of marky when i see it and touch it. show and prove, wahlberg !
21
We laugh at Marky Mark, but the people on the plane that crashed over Pennsylvania took care of business. They didn't land the thing, obviously, but they defeated the terrorists. There could have been a Marky Mary-type on that plane, who was all like, "Feel it, feel it".
22
I can't even think of this without picturing him in the cockpit jerking it while saying "I'm a star". And that's 13 inches, @11. Remember, this is a giant cock.
23
I'm worried that global warming may lead to the great Massachusetts wahlsheet breaking up, leading to more wahlbergs.
21/Amanda: We laugh at Marky Mark, but the people on the plane that crashed over Pennsylvania took care of business.
Indeed they did, but the reason they did so was because their plane had been delayed and, because of that, they had knowledge of what happened with the three other planes. The people on the other three planes would've taken action too, if they had known the planes were going to be flown into buildings and they'd all die, but they had no way of knowing that since hijackers had never done that before.
If Wahlberg had been on that United 93 flight, I've no doubt he would have rushed the cockpit along with the other guys: Beamer, Bingham, Burnett and Glick. But he was scheduled to be on one of the WTC flights, not United 93. He would have assumed, as did all the other passengers on those flights, that the hijackers were going to land the plane and he wouldn't have done anything.
21/Amanda: We laugh at Marky Mark, but the people on the plane that crashed over Pennsylvania took care of business.
Indeed they did, but the reason they did so was because their plane had been delayed and, because of that, they had knowledge of what happened with the three other planes. The people on the other three planes would've taken action too, if they had known the planes were going to be flown into buildings and they'd all die, but they had no way of knowing that since hijackers had never done that before.
If Wahlberg had been on that United 93 flight, I've no doubt he would have rushed the cockpit along with the other guys: Beamer, Bingham, Burnett and Glick. But he was scheduled to be on one of the WTC flights, not United 93. He would have assumed, as did all the other passengers on those flights, that the hijackers were going to land the plane and he wouldn't have done anything.
24
@23 -- Who knows, Marky Mark may not have been as trusting of the hijackers as the people on the others flights. He's kind of a loose cannon. Did you know he was charged with attempted murder at 16 for beating a guy until he was blind?
(Feel it, feel it).
(Feel it, feel it).
25
Wow -- reading that interview -- and the article @4 -- made me realize something astonishing. Mark Wahlberg is as dumb as he used to be hot.
(Not that he's not still hot -- just that he used to be hotter and his stupidity is far closer to that level.)
(Not that he's not still hot -- just that he used to be hotter and his stupidity is far closer to that level.)
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