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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

2012 / Sex But If You're Doing It Right...

Posted by on Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 11:30 AM

A "Savage Love" readers writes...

I would like to propose a holiday: Santorum Day. On the day Rick Santorum pulls out of the presidental race—at some point all dicks pull out—you and all of your fine readers should rush home and create some santorum of their own in cellebration of a small win for secular freedom.—Anonymous

Santorum Day wouldn't work. As I've explained before: if you're doing anal intercourse right, there is no santorum. You don't have anal sex when your ass is full of shit for the same reason you don't have oral sex when your mouth is full of food: it's uncomfortable and it makes a mess. That's why santorum is only the byproduct of anal sex sometimes, Anonymous, per the standard definition. Santorum is an unwelcome accident, not a certainty and definitely not the desired outcome (or outflow), so it doesn't make sense to encourage people to intentionally "create some santorum." You're not a freedom-lovin', red-blooded, all-American buttfucker if santorum is your goal. You're a coprophiliac. Please make a note of it.

 

Comments (22) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
YDIW.
Posted by Chicago Fan on January 18, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Rujax! 2
..."an unwelcome accident"...

That sums it up...Santorum that is.
Posted by Rujax! http://rujax.blogspot.com/ on January 18, 2012 at 11:48 AM
3
The relief of voting properly--flushing potential Santorum down the toilet without having to worry about causing a big national stain.
Posted by ndattn on January 18, 2012 at 11:59 AM
Confluence 4
Huge snowstorm, the city's shut down. ...And he's STILL obsessing over Santorum. I mean, I'm totally on your side and all, but at this point you're seeming a little *not okay*...
Posted by Confluence on January 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Kevin_BGFH 5
It's an unintended and unwelcome accident for most of us. I do know a few rare souls for whom it is a planned and welcome outcome. Not my cup of tea, but as long as everyone involved is consenting...
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on January 18, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Kevin_BGFH 6
@4 - Right wing evangelicals are trying to rally behind Santorum. As unelectable as we might think of him, he's a real threat. I think a little ire - frothing at the mouth, if you will - is definitely in order.
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on January 18, 2012 at 12:07 PM
7
Where do the inexperienced find a guide on how to get a clean arse?
Posted by Sili on January 18, 2012 at 12:15 PM
sambone 8
@7 douche
Posted by sambone on January 18, 2012 at 12:20 PM
BEG 9
Hey, how's snowpocalypse 2012 coming along? Just heard about it from blaghag/jen mccreight, who is bemoaning the fact she doesn't get any awesome bus slipping on her hill :)

As for your answer, yep.
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on January 18, 2012 at 12:21 PM
balderdash 10
Not all of us get the day off just because there's a little chilly weather, @4. For my part, I'm glad Dan's on the job, because so am I and I need something to entertain myself because nobody else is here.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 18, 2012 at 12:25 PM
11
Well, Anonymous has it mostly right. "On the day Rick Santorum pulls out of the presidental race..."

That should be Anti-Santorum Day or Santorum-Free Day, a day of great celebration when all us sinners celebrate the removal of Santorum from their bedrooms.

Unless, God forbid, Mitt the Git picks him to be his running mate. Ick.
Posted by Bugnroolet on January 18, 2012 at 12:32 PM
Vince 12
Ew. I'm outta here.
Posted by Vince on January 18, 2012 at 12:44 PM
BEG 13
Yeah, come on @11 you should have put an NSFW around that one!
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on January 18, 2012 at 1:25 PM
14
All this happy ignorance on a Glee-fan level over Santorum makes him more dangerous. He is a serious threat to the constitution of the US and the future of humanity.
Posted by Kylere on January 18, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Roma 15
As I've explained before: if you're doing anal intercourse right, there is no santorum.

I'm far from experienced in having it -- only one woman I've been with liked it (loved it, actually), and another one was kind enough to let me engage with her twice -- but there was never any santorum from their sanctum sanctorums.
Posted by Roma on January 18, 2012 at 1:59 PM
16
@15 Good one!
Posted by holiest of holies on January 18, 2012 at 2:59 PM
17
Ew...it's time to leave.
Posted by dakoneko on January 18, 2012 at 4:10 PM
Kevin_BGFH 18
One could, perhaps, celebrate an Anti-Santorum day by engaging in practices that could produce santorum but won't because you'll do it properly.
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on January 18, 2012 at 4:12 PM
19
I like the idea of (Anti-)Santorum day. Even if the santorum suggestion is not a good idea, simply celebrating secular sexual freedom with all kinds of practices, anal or not, sounds like a good idea. Perhaps this suggestion could be posted to the spreadingsantorum website?
Posted by ankylosaur on January 18, 2012 at 11:33 PM
20
@8 "Douche", amazingly enough, means "shower"in French. is that your suggestion to @7?
Posted by juli81 on January 19, 2012 at 12:53 AM
21
What is Santorum won the primary, and picked Scott Brown as his running mate?
Posted by Barbara on January 19, 2012 at 8:33 AM
22
Then have a no Sanotorum day where everyone celebrates his loss by buttfucking right.
Posted by Moonmaid on January 19, 2012 at 10:07 AM

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