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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Chow Fountain of a Million Sodas Arrives on Broadway

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 11:09 AM

Did you know that Seattle Metropolitan magazine still exists? Apparently so! And did you know that Seattle Metropolitan magazine has its very own weblog? Adorable*! And on that weblog, they have written about a futuristic soda machine arriving at Pagliacci Pizza on Broadway. I wrote the machine up back in March of last year when it opened at Taco Time:

The Freestyle® is just a fancy, shiny fountain pop machine with a touch screen, albeit one that produces enough flavors to cause Michelle Obama to weep. The PR people remind you at every opportunity that the Freestyle® was designed by "the people behind Ferrari." It looks much like a regular Coke vending machine, but with a glowing cyclopean eye and a toothless mouth frozen in the middle of a horrible, silent scream...A PR person tells me that the kids are already posting "viral Freestyle® recipes on Facebook" and that a favorite is the "Gummi Bear," which is all six flavors of Sprite (original, cherry, grape, peach, raspberry, and strawberry) mixed together. For my first drink, I opt for what the alleged Facebook kids are allegedly calling a Creamsicle—a half-and-half mixture of orange and vanilla Diet Coke. It does, in fact, taste like a Diet Coke with orange and vanilla syrup added in equal parts, sweet and vaguely citrusy, but mostly sweet.

Go make yourself sick, Capitol Hill! And be sure to record videos of it, and then post those videos on Facebook, so they'll go viral. Freestyle!

* Or, as I imagine Seattle Metropolitan would put it: "Trés Adorbs!"

Comments (15) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Speaking of soda, I found some bottles of Pepsi Throwback at TopFood...that was a nostalgic version that used real sugar instead of HFCS like back in the 1960s...you know, before diabetes and obesity. I bought two...but I think BlueSky cola still tastes better.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on January 12, 2012 at 11:17 AM

Call me when they bring back Crystal Pepsi!

Posted by nicholaus on January 12, 2012 at 11:29 AM

I gotta admit I was gleeful as a little kid when I first saw these last year on some TV show.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on January 12, 2012 at 11:30 AM

Pepsi throwback is a product that is currently produced.

Posted by arbeck

on January 12, 2012 at 11:32 AM

What I can't figure out is with a thousand choices, why no love for Fresca?

It's a Coca-Cola product. Its niche popularity means that it routinely sells out at grocery stores when 12-packs are on sale (believe me, I know). It's the perfect mixer for all the ridiculous flavor-add-ons in that crazy machine (better than Peach Diet Coke, anyway), and yet they don't have it as an option in either of those 2 mega-machines. It's not like they don't MAKE the syrup (while it does seem rare in fountains, they DO have it at Il Fornaio in Pacific Place).

What gives, Coke?

Posted by stuckie on January 12, 2012 at 11:38 AM

The only thing viral about this are all of the germs the unwashed public will smear on it each time it is used. A machine like that is as unsanitary as a bus or salad bar. The people who used to dispense one's soda behind the counter are limited in number and wash their hands regularly due to the inherent meesiness of food prep and sale.

Posted by thatsnotright on January 12, 2012 at 11:46 AM

Any option for HFCS free drink? Love playing with machines, hate my corn allergy.

Posted by dee beez on January 12, 2012 at 11:57 AM

Does it have Fanta? I long for a black currant Fanta.

Posted by keshmeshi on January 12, 2012 at 12:11 PM

@8 THAT's a THING!? Sounds divine.

In other news....isn't a mixed soda-fountain drink just called "swampwater" or "graveyard?" What gives?

Posted by More, I Say! on January 12, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Super. They've figured out yet another way to dispense fizzy sugar-water. Because Americans are just not fat enough. Hooray for diabetes!

Posted by Reverse Polarity on January 12, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Jumbaco! Jumbaco!

Posted by HOT PUSSY

on January 12, 2012 at 2:18 PM

I remember mixing part fanta, part diet ginger ale, and part something else. It was vomit-inducing.

Posted by Drew2u on January 12, 2012 at 3:46 PM

@1 Well Holy Shit! How ever did you find a product that they sell at literally every fucking store that has soda? Thank the lord for miracles. You stupid hog.

Posted by McGee on January 12, 2012 at 4:17 PM

@5, I LUUUUUUV Fresca. And Tab, which you can rarely find even in the store. Tip: Fresca makes a great substitute in a Pimm's Cup for that first summery day in spring, and can sparkle up all sorts of other drinks. Freak out your bartender, order a Fresca and bourbon (they won't have it, but it's fun to ask).

Posted by Fnarf