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Monday, January 9, 2012

Video of the Day Lunchtime Quickie: Cable TV Reveals End of World Is Nigh

Posted by Kelly O on Mon, Jan 9, 2012 at 12:15 PM

Lunchtime Quickie is back after a two week stint of overeating, non-stop cable TV, and never sitting upright on Mom's couch. Have you watched much TV lately? 2012 and The End Of Days is coming. And little Alana, from TLC's “Toddlers & Tiaras” is living proof:

Comments (25) RSS

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At some point, can't you just stop buying aluminum foil? Not every coupon has to be used right? I mean, they'll print more...

I don't know if it was from the posted video or the one after, but damn, I don't care if it's cheap; the only reason for stocking a hundred mega rolls of foil is if you're expecting an alien invasion.

Posted by Allyn on January 9, 2012 at 12:40 PM

Dolla make me holla, boo boo honey chile! Is anyone else as turned on by this as I am? You should post the long version, where the little angel, er, child-abuse victim rhapsodizes about her "special go-go juice", which may or may not be Mountain Dew with special additives (like vodka or meth powder).

Posted by Fnarf

on January 9, 2012 at 12:43 PM

It's recyclable. But reuse is better, since it takes a lot of energy to melt and recast metals.

Personally, my fave alloys always had bitumin in them. Aluminium is nice, but less fun.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on January 9, 2012 at 12:43 PM

@2 maybe it's Pepsi Ten or whatever that fake "Pepsi Zero for Guys Only" is, but recast in a Pink Can?

I agree with that little girl in Quebec that all this fake "girls toys" vs "boys toys" stuff is just plain stupid.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on January 9, 2012 at 12:45 PM

here's the full clip, if you want to find out a little about her mom. but, you already know, don't you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTW4QHuWp…

Posted by mr. herriman on January 9, 2012 at 12:47 PM

"her future goals is to be a coupon queen like her momma"

Posted by mr. herriman on January 9, 2012 at 12:48 PM

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

Posted by Teslick on January 9, 2012 at 12:50 PM

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on January 9, 2012 at 12:50 PM

What the hell is wrong with that kid? She talks like the watches Jerry Springer's 4 ring bitch fight and Maury Povich all day long. That is just wrong!

Posted by ballard dude on January 9, 2012 at 12:57 PM

It shouldn't be legal for 'pageants' to give kids money taped to paper plates in the shape of a fan.

Posted by biffp on January 9, 2012 at 1:00 PM

CPS, anyone?

Posted by TVDinner

on January 9, 2012 at 1:05 PM

Damn you @2 for egging on that damned @5 to link to the full goddam fucking damn clip.

Posted by gloomy gus on January 9, 2012 at 1:07 PM

6 years old? She talks like she's 3.

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on January 9, 2012 at 1:10 PM

Oh my god. WE'RE DOOOOOMED. It's official. I now wish the Mayan apocalypse was real. As a species, we don't deserve to continue reproducing.

Posted by katallred on January 9, 2012 at 1:17 PM

this about sums it up http://cdn.pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/…

Posted by ingopixel on January 9, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Someone get this child to rehab. She is A DRUNK.

Posted by Knat on January 9, 2012 at 1:45 PM

I'll just leave this here.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6132f…

Posted by TheMisanthrope on January 9, 2012 at 2:08 PM

What the fuck was that!? I know, I might understand if I'd open up any of the links, but I'm depressed enough already. Can we start a eugenics panel?

Posted by Tingleyfeeln on January 9, 2012 at 2:35 PM

@10 so, you've never been to a Quincenara?

same principle, but you pin the money to the dress.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on January 9, 2012 at 2:46 PM

@4, what the fuck are you talking about? She drinks a flourescent yellow fluid out of a clear plastic bottle -- obviously Mountain Dew. @1 wasn't talking about the drink, she was talking about the mother's couponing mania which has caused her to buy way too much aluminum foil (and laundry detergent, and paper towels, and...)

I think you've set a new record for irrelevancy and lack of understanding here. Why, why, WHY do you have to comment on stuff when you obviously haven't seen it and have no idea what it's about? YOU ARE THE MOST RIDICULOUS HUMAN WHO EVER LIVED. I would take a hundred Alanas and their mothers for a lifetime over ten seconds of you.

Posted by Fnarf

on January 9, 2012 at 3:23 PM

"Dolla Makes Me Holla ... (unintelligible ...)" -- anyone else see a future stripper in the making?

Posted by jhops on January 9, 2012 at 4:51 PM

@19, they're 15 and they're not competing with each other for money. The kid in the video seems like she's on a path to be Gordon Gecko or Heidi Fleis.

Posted by biffp on January 9, 2012 at 6:10 PM